Hi ya Vunil:
I worked in a place once where a person of power (by position and by her weezling close ties to the person in charge of the "agency"--sleeping with him) acted with great arrogance, cruelty and caused frustrating grief for all those who were under her "direction".
I was one of those of lower position and don't ask me why but I instinctively smelled this rat out the moment I stepped in the door and somehow.....(without knowing about Nism or the tips included in the Oprah magazine post --that dp posted) managed to...and I hate to say this...take the dominant role???
She (I'll call her T) was bisexual and kept making passes at me (and being heterosexual and married---this should have made me feel extreme discomfort--but instead I detected it as some attempt to control me and I found it pathetic) so I secretly noted this to the rest of the staff, who worked there, and then ducked each smooth attempt she made to touch my leg, or pat my butt, feigning how busy I was, while I let out a joking comment, loud enough for others to hear. They would respond by "seeing" the behaviour and smiling, which sent "T" packing to where ever she "hid" most of the time.
She would always greet me loudly each morning and make some flattering remark to which I would respond by making a truthful, mild flattery of my own to her in response, which seemed to totally confuse her (probably because she was looking to embarass me....make me the centre of attention.....which she probably senced I didn't like.....and since that didn't happen) and the rest of the staff would just smile and.....again....off T went to hide).
She would literally attack people, infront of everyone, and when I saw this...I would intervene by getting her attention, by interupting and asking for whatever I could think of.....and she would then be lead off....sniffing my behind, at which point I might say:
"Oh.....nevermind......."I found it"...or "I forgot I have this to do first"...or some other pleasant but dismissive thing and walk away, leaving her looking like a lost pup.
I may have been manipulative but this is one case in which I thank my N experiences for teaching me, without my really understanding, how to distract a juvenile, twisted, N. Many people came to me, later, and thanked me for saving them!!! Like I was sooooo smart but I don't think I was. I think, I was just soooooooo t'd off with her ridiculous, unfair, cruel, conniving, controlling, dictator-like, sick, filthy behaviour....that I let that anger direct me in the only way I could, in a work situation.....by tricking her, constantly, into focussing on me......which I hated....but it seemed better than what she was doing to everyone else.
Maybe because of my childhood....I thought I could take her stuff....easier than some of those sweet people I worked with....or maybe, I was just at a point where I found someone I could "pay back" for some of the crap I had learned to detect(
).
Who cares? That woman treated me like her pet and left everyone else alone, a lot of the time. One day, she confided in me:
"Everyone here thinks I'm a b......ch". And I looked at her, smiled and said:
"But T, you are!" and I laughed an walked away.
She thought I was kidding!
GFN
