Dreams anyone?

[Anonymous]

One of my weirdest waking dreams, ...

This reminded me, Bliz, of something I've been experiencing lately.  I keep seeing clones of my abusers, out in public.

At the grocery store, on the street, driving cars, etc...I see people who look almost identical to my abusers and I think..."Is that ______?"

But ofcourse it isn't.  Weird.

GFN

[Bliz]

Boy that sounds like a haunting. I think I had that several times when we first broke up and even was attracted for a short while to a guy that looked like the ex.  Now I seem to be going in a totally different direction, Thank God.

[Anonymous]

but then I realize I'm flying and the dream becomes about trying to control the panic in my gut over it (I never crash or hit the earth).

I had flying dreams about three times that I can recall.  I love those dreams.  They have always occured at very good times during my life.
Exhilarating & empowering!!

 

my mom told me she also had the not studying for an exam dream, which I believe is universal for anyone who has been in school.

I think you are right.  I have this dream when I am experiencing great anxiety over something.  Both my brothers have dreamt this as well and we all report that it's an awful feeling.  I always feel panic stricken and dreadful during these dreams or should I say nightmares.  Also, these are the most frequent.

My latest dream:
Last night I had a dream that X N came to pick up the children.  When I looked out the window he had two vehicles with him and he was loading the kids into the front of his SUV.  I was in the house thinking, "What the h#ll is he doing?".  Next thing I know the kids are driving out of the court by themselves.  I yell out the window to X N to stop them before they get killled.  He is standing in the middle of the court and doesn't move, doesn't say a word, but gives me a smug look.  I start running through the house yelling for my husband to grab the keys to our car so we can go find the kids......I am in a complete panic b/c I don't what direction they are headed in.   The nightmare ends at this point.  Still can't shake the dream.

Feedback?  I guess it's clear that I'm distressed (to say the least) when the kids go with X N.

X N lives on a lake and my Mom has had numerous dreams of the kids falling in the lake and drowning.  Terrible.  

I'm a worry wart just like my Mom.

Mia

[Anonymous]

GFN:

I am now just reading some of the comments on this particular thread.  When I started posting about 5 years ago on various boards on Ns, it also unleashed vivid dreams.  I also had trouble dreaming before that time.  Some of the dreams were so vivid that I would think about them for days and the meaning of them.  I think those dreams that are unleashed is our unconscience memories that we have buried coming up to the surface, memories that need to be dealt with and absorbed.  I think at the time when those things occurred by my N, they were to painful for me to deal with and I just "stuffed" it down.  When the N left I began to deal with those things and they came out in dreams.

I read with interest your first post on this thread about your parents "fronting" as a mortgage company.  I think their absorption of your emotions at your expense is at the core of this dream.  This is my unsophistocated take on it.  My N confiscated my emotions and energy and banked all that for his use.  He would go about scoping out other unsuspecting individuals sucking up their emotions as well.  He would also scour the landscape so to speak for anything that would accrue to him. I think the same could be said of your parents in this dream.

Dreams have always facinated me because they were telling me something important  my conscience being is not aware of.  I would actually wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.  I could remember the  important parts and I would write them down.  Even being awoke in the middle of the night I could  not remember it all, no matter  how hard I tried.  The following day I would have this nagging "thing" in the back of my mind  I would try and try to remember.  The dream would finally resolve itself by my seeing something totally unrelated, or hearing something that would trigger the memory during the day.  It was very strange.

Patz

[October]

a horse or other animal that I have forgotten I even owned (but really wanted), barely alive from my neglect when I finally remember it's there....(such sadness and guilt)

running with great ease, and gazelle like springing steps....and saying to myself, "I knew I could run like this....but I always think it's a dream, but here I am and it's not" (oh, the irony).....

and falling from a great height (like off a diving board and I don't go down but WAY up first) , but then I realize I'm flying and the dream becomes about trying  to control the panic in my gut over it (I never crash or hit the earth).

Struggling to reconnect, but will try here; just some thoughts, take or leave as you wish.  The horse or other animal seems to be yourself.  It is a beloved pet, symbolising the inner person that you are.  For some of us this is a child, for you it may be an animal.  That is your choice.  The dream is telling you that there is an important part of yourself that you are neglecting.

The gazelle is telling you that there are many things that you can do, but you do not believe in yourself enough.  Again, you use a beautiful animal image.  This is lovely; it means you identify closely with the animal world, and through that with nature as a whole.  Perhaps some peoples would say that these animals are your spirit guides.  I am not sure about that, but clearly you are close to nature.  

The falling dream is a very common one - I used to have this a lot when I was a child - falling down stairs.  I forget for the moment what it means - probably because it is part of me.  It is about fear, and about failure, I think. Perhaps also insecurity.  That makes sense with the flying part of your dream, too, which relates to the gazelle as well.  

When we were small we used to say that if you ever dream that you have landed in a falling dream, that means you are dead.  I don't suppose that is actually true.  

[October]

with me it is fishtanks. i dream all the time about fishtanks. i can tell my emotional state by the health of the fish. somtimes the fish are plump and healthy- water clear - they have lots of food. sometimes i will come on groups of fish that i know i havent seen in years, they have been starving, i am getting there just in time to save them. personally i have come to always interpret those dreams as parts of my emotional being.

Anna

I think you are right.  Water is either symbolic of emotion, or else of motherhood, as far as I understand.  This sounds like a metaphor for your life and aspects of your self, as you say.  Perhaps swimming in the tank is about exploring your emotional life, and rediscovering parts of yourself that you had forgotten about.

[October]

My latest dream:
Last night I had a dream that X N came to pick up the children.  When I looked out the window he had two vehicles with him and he was loading the kids into the front of his SUV.  I was in the house thinking, "What the h#ll is he doing?".  Next thing I know the kids are driving out of the court by themselves.  I yell out the window to X N to stop them before they get killled.  He is standing in the middle of the court and doesn't move, doesn't say a word, but gives me a smug look.  I start running through the house yelling for my husband to grab the keys to our car so we can go find the kids......I am in a complete panic b/c I don't what direction they are headed in.   The nightmare ends at this point.  Still can't shake the dream.

Feedback?  I guess it's clear that I'm distressed (to say the least) when the kids go with X N.

Mia

This sounds like a very scarey dream.  If I had that about my daughter it would really frighten me.  It may not be so scarey really, though.  It sounds as if your kids are growing up faster than either you or the nasty N realise.  One of these days they are not going to worry about who they are with; they will drive that car (their lives) all by themselves.  And it is not you they are driving away from; it is him.  

Meanwhile, you will be panicking, and he will be oblivious to what is happening.  But the important thing to notice is that the kids are ok.    Maybe this dream ends with them driving to the nearest takeaway, then calling you to join them there, leaving N standing on the drive.

[dre]

I've been having more "nightmares" than dreams about my ex lately.

Most recent was we were going somewhere/or had to meet someone, but he warned me that the girl he had to meet was only 14 years old. He implied that he was like interested in her, and I recall that I was very hurt and couldn't understand why he would be interested in someone so young. (He always threatened me about other girls).

Then there was one where I was talking about his sister-in-law (who I confided his abusiveness to) and she walked up behind me and her me talking about her.

I don't know. It's wierd how your sub-conscious works.

[Bliz]

When you were talking about the beloved animal dream it reminded me of an occasional dream I have that a particular car I really liked is still around somewhere and mine, or an that an apartment that I once lived in that I really liked I now own.  

It seems to be a longing dream, longing for the past I guess.??? Longing to have a "do over".  It is always a neat feeling, in the dream, to know I still have the car or now own the apartment I loved so.  

One of the strangest longing dream I think I have is that my paternal Grandmother is still alive.  That they kept her in some kind of suspended animation all these years and she is n the basement of the house she owned.  That is a strange one. Any interpretations there?  

She was a strong figure in our lives and has been dead for 30 years.  Sometimes, in the dream I even get to talk to her like, "hey I didnt know you were in the basement all these years." The funny thing is she wasnt realy affectionate and even kind of stern, but still was very much the revered Victorian era matriarch.  

She was an older mother when she had my father so she really was alive in the Victorian era.  Loving all things historic, and especially VIctorian, I think she represents that time to me when houses were big, beautiful and classic and the world was a gentler place.  What does dreaming about houses in general mean?

[mum]

wow,  Thanks for the various dream interpretations.
I think a few really hit home for my dreams.
I am indeed extremely connected to animals.  They have always been part of my life and part of my work as an artist...horses in particular.  I used to wonder if I was a deer in a past life because of the running/leaping dreams.  Yes, I was neglectful of my strength (ironically, none of these dreams are in the last few years..just major themes before that).  I have always been a little insecure and afraid of my power (working a lot on that lately).  Freedom in a very real sense of the word has been elusive for me...
thanks for the ideas.....

[Anonymous]

Hi all:

Hey Patz:

I think those dreams that are unleashed is our unconscience memories that we have buried coming up to the surface, memories that need to be dealt with and absorbed.

Maybe so??  I don't know if I stuffed those feelings about my parents or just never thought about what they stole from me, in regard to my siblings, and possibly other things that I haven't voiced, until that dream brought it up.  Now I'm back to not remembering my dreams again so phooey!!  Maybe it's too much right now??  We'll see, I guess.

I read with interest your first post on this thread about your parents "fronting" as a mortgage company. I think their absorption of your emotions at your expense is at the core of this dream.

This is certainly part of it.  I'm sure you're right.  This is probably true for many growing up in such conditions.  I'm sure I stuffed all kinds of feelings I'm not aware that I stuffed.  I'm not sure I want to unstuff them or just let my dreams do it for me??   It is odd that I have never dreamt of my mother, not even once, since she died 15 years ago.  I really find that strange.

Dreams have always facinated me because they were telling me something important my conscience being is not aware of.

I think so too, sometimes.  Other times I just think it's my unconscious mind playing out my worst fears, or some other emotion that has been hiding/held under the surface.  Then also, sometimes, it seems like they are a premenition or something weird??

Thanks for your thoughts Patz.  I appreciate you bothering.  Dreams are interesting, for sure and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has been wondering about some of them or repressing them????, or having vivd ones, at one time or other.

GFN

[P]

I dreamed a couple of days ago that mother and step-father were trying to inject something directly into my brain (with a huge hypodermic ) which would make me a compliant, dumb person. I was horrified and struggled and got away.

I worry about the stuff inside our heads that we don't see. Like little time-bombs sitting there. Then we pick up a gun, or a bottle etc etc. I worry about people full stop, period!

GFN, by the way, you were right on the religion/Phillip's thread re: principles. Principles can be absolute, I was confusing the principles with actions (we can be forced to act against a principle, but the principle still remains intact, as an idea). Thanks for making me work that one through at the time Yes, abuse of children is always wrong. That's pretty absolute. best, Portia

[Anonymous]

Good morning everyone:

Wow!  Portia!  That must have been a terrifying dream??  Did it seem very real??

Sometimes, when I have remembered a dream, I also remember thinking how unreal it was and telling myself, in my dream:  "this is just a dream" or "good thing this is a dream".
Other times, the dream seeems so real that it shakes me up good for awhile, even after I wake up.
This one of yours sounds like one of your worst fears??? (that is unlikely to come true).   Or might you feel guilty for not being compliant enough (according to what you think a good daughter ought to be, or what you might see other daughters doing, or what they keep telling you you should be doing......and you believe them a little)?
The good news is...you got away.  So even in your dreams, you do not just dumbly comply.     That's my take.

GFN, by the way, you were right on the religion/Phillip's thread re: principles. Principles can be absolute, I was confusing the principles with actions (we can be forced to act against a principle, but the principle still remains intact, as an idea). Thanks for making me work that one through at the time  Yes, abuse of children is always wrong. That's pretty absolute.

And sometimes, we can decide that the principle is not nearly as solid as we had previously thought.  We can act against it because we see how the state of it can be variable.  Example:  It is wrong to steal.  Which it basically is (my belief)...but if my child and I were starving and an opportunity presented itself to steal food... from a place where it would not be noticed missing, would it still be absolutely wrong to steal...especially if I stole from someone who had plenty??  I might be tempted to act against my principle, in that case.   You may say 'forced to act' but I think I would still be making a choice.  A choice to act, on that occasion.   I have other choices but this might be the one I would make because it seems like the most right of all the wrongs, at that time.  Does that make any sence??

Anyway, Portia, thanks for making meeeee think about it a little more too.  I don't like absolutes either, really.  But there are certain basics that I am unwilling to change my mind about (such as faith).  The rest......is variable.

Hope your next dream is a pleasant one!!

GFN

[P]

Thanks for the good wishes GFN  Only last week I told my H about another dream (I was shouting and raging at my mother and ended up repeatedly slapping her face, which in the dream, I told myself was wrong and shocking and felt awful about – just the slapping that is) and – he said “that would be a nightmare to me”.

Wow! No, no I said, that’s JUST a dream to me (like the one about the syringe). Nightmares are where I wake up sweating gallons and trying push something off my chest, or wondering what to do about the malevolent figure in the room (if I pretend to be asleep will it go away? Etc).

Hmmmm. Interesting when I write it down eh?  And two and two equals 153.

So anyway, it was interesting to compare what he sees as a nightmare and I see as just a dream. The syringe one is just a dream because it’s like so many others, mind-control by some sort of surgery. Nightmares for me happen rarely but when they do they are like a struggle to live and yes, in those, I tell myself to wake up, I shout at my sleeping self to wake up! And I do. And I did? Maybe I’m still waking up.

When I said compliant and dumb I meant stupid/dumb not voiceless/dumb (tho’ they could be the same mask and maybe they are). But he’s dead and can’t try to control me any more. He was a sad person. She’s alive and a stranger, to me and herself.

I tried to get my brain to comply. I spent time acting dumb in jobs. I tried to fit in. I tried to pretend that my past was okay and just a little odd and that it didn’t really affect me much. I ‘coped’ very well. I ignored my brain and body until they started to give up. But the brain will have its way it seems. These days I try and let it do what it wants to do and it surprises me   Who the heck the ‘me’ is watching this is a good question, tho’ not a question that bothers ‘me’ much at all.

Is stealing wrong? If I take home an empty shell from a beach, displaying it at my home where others cannot see it, is that stealing? Where will the shell go when I die? Did I steal it or borrow it for a while? If your children are starving and you see a well in the desert, if your children drink from it, are they stealing? How do you know if the well is ‘owned’ or not?

Stealing is about the notion of ownership which is a tricky one. Is ownership ethical? Ownership of our minds and bodies is paramount (rape is stealing, imprisonment is a theft of liberty) – but ownership of things? I’m not so sure. Wars are all about ownership. Maybe I should read Marx (was it he, ‘all property is theft’? I don’t know and can’t be bothered to look).

It is wrong to steal: it wrong to own. No owning = no stealing. So I guess I don’t hold with either principle, that really is a ‘it depends’ one.

But it is wrong to be cruel. Serious question: Do we allow people on death row the option of suicide? If not, why not?

I used to have flying dreams too (been reading here). Loved them, wish I had them now. So realistic! I had to will myself up and over the rooftops but try not to think about what I was doing. As soon as I tried to concentrate on doing the flying, I’d start to fall. Just like in the ‘Witches of Eastwick’ film. I’d like to fly in my sleep again, yeah!
 Pleasant dreams GFN, Portia

[mum as guest]

thought I'd throw this into the dream discussion: My ex used to have dreams that I was cheating on HIM (the opposite turned out to be true in reality).  But he would proceed to berate me and be sour to me for the entire day after such a dream....supposedly BECAUSE I cheated on him in HIS dream! (maybe this should be on the most N comments thread).
What a nutjob, huh??