Mum
I know exactly what you mean about the PAS. X N has never made reference to it but there is always the possibility that he will.
bunny
would not reply to any provocative, as he will know he pushed your buttons. I would keep him in the dark completely
You are right. Normally I ignore X N but every once in a while I have a "flare up".
Jaded
I would drop the N word first to the therapist
How can this be done without appearing to be a know it all? I would love to drop the "N Bomb". Should I wait until after he has met with the therapist a few times? She has indicated that she would like to have sessions with him and the children since the kids are having a difficult time adjusting to full EOWeekends at his place.
D's Mom
Thanks for the info. I'll add it to my arsenal.
Patz
Public info is open to the public. But it's irrevelant anyway. I really don't care what he does with his spare time as long as it doesn't have negative consequences for the children. He always has been paranoid but it is definitely getting worse in the last two years.
Last night I had to drop off my daughter to his house after an activity (his weekend to have kids). I arrived earlier then expected and he was still out with my son at the park. I phoned his cell to let let him know. He *went paranoid* on me. He didn't want me sitting out front of his house. He was about five minutes away. I told him I would wait. He called back two minutes later and wanted me to drive back to my house (over ten minutes away). He sounded as if he was in a panic that I was in front of his home while he wasn't there. He kept repeating, "No need for you to wait there, I'll pick up daughter at your place." I asked, "You're five minutes away, right?" His response, "Yes". I said, "I'll just wait". He kept stammering away and finally I got off the phone. I guess he thought I was going to break in. Who knows what was going on in that fragmented robotic mind of his.
My daughter was very upset about having to go to Dad's this weekend. For the most part she is a gregarious child. When I picked her up from school yesterday, as soon as she came out of the doors she started sobbing. I thought something had happened in school. She immediately starts pleading that she doesn't want to sleep over her Dad's house. You can imagine how this made me feel. I told her that for the time being she will have to visit her Dad on his weekends...b/c the Judge ordered it...yada yada yada. I hugged her but she was still very upset. I reminded her that we were going to her Girl Scout activity together and then I would take her to Dad's. She calmed down a little.
After the GS activity....as soon as we were in the car.....she began sobbing again....begging me not to take her. When I ask her what's going on at Dad's to make her so upset she will say the following things:
*He treats us badly.
*He yells all the time.
*He blames me for everything.
*He doesn't let me play with M(brother).
*He tells me that he is going to "tell the therapist that I'm bad"......BECAUSE OF THIS COMMENT SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE WANTS TO GO TO THERAPY ANYMORE! X N sabatoged daughter's last therapist by writing nasty letters to her and by questioning her credentials, etc. Old therapist told me I need a therapist who is willing to testify in court and since she didn't do the "court thing" she didn't want to be involved in a quagmire.
During the GS activity my daughter was withdrawn from the troop (soooo unlike her) and others noticed. My coleader asked me, "What's wrong with D? Is she OK?" It was visible that her mood was depressed. How messed up is that? A seven year old experiencing depression. These are supposed to be her carefree years. It makes me sick.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
Mia