At the same Bat Mitzvah I was at on Sat. eve, at the big party afterwards, my almost 13 year old suffered her first heartbreak from a boy.
She did not tell me, as the kids and adults pretty much ignored each other, as they should in those situations, but I knew something was up on the way home. At 1:30 in the morning she came to me crying, and told me the tale of woe. She was miserable all Sunday, and apologized profusely for "wrecking" my mother's day. I told her in all honesty, that being there for her, having her share her feelings with me, was the best kind of mother's day present possible.
What does this have to do with the "meaning of life"? This IS the meaning of life. Love. It is a simple word and a simple philosophy. It is our divine purpose, it is our promise.
Love ourselves enough to know we can heal others. Love others enough to know they can be healed. Love this life enough to find these experiences. Those of us on the recieving end of pain dumping by N's have a giant size gift wrapped package of learning in that pain. It's huge for many of us. But it is such amazing learning....if we figure THIS out, imagine what life will be like for us!!!! There will be no stopping us!!
So we have an added burden (or gift) of finding love, of transforming pain. But we will really know what we are doing when we "get it"... It's about awareness. We are waking up.
October: I know you have a close and loving relationship with your daughter as well. This is where we need to put our focus, on that which is loving in this world. If we make the choice to put our focus on that which is negative, then that is what we will see, and we will, out of habit, see more and more of that.
On this planet, there is evil and there is good....love and fear. Spending our precious energy concerned with all the "negative" will simply beget more negativity. The negative "wins" as it were, by getting us to focus on it. Acknowledging that it exists but that positive does as well, can help, however this "duality of life" type of focus can inspire what Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander (in their book "The Art Of Possibility") call the "Downward Spiral Talk". ("Well, this good thing could happen, but then this roadblock will go up, etc, etc, so what's the point?")
Focusing on possiblility and positive energy is actually a choice....that becomes a habit.....that brings to light positive energy, that reinforces our change in focus, our perception.....that creates and heals, rather than destroys and hurts.
In buddist teachings we are asked a question: will I continue to add pain to the world or will I transform it, and heal instead? It's a good question: will I give back more of what I got (negative) or will I learn from it and transform?
To take pain, learn from it, transform it, no matter how many times we get kicked into the mud, is what this life is about. It is not about winning, or having the "best" deal out of life.....it's about love. Love can come from pain. It's a choice. Put your focus where you want. Everybody's life sucks....and everybody's life is beautiful. It's what you percieve.