Would you fly in a plane if you knew an N was the pilot?

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

My ex-N is a pilot. He is about to apply for a new pilot job with an airline I fly ALL THE TIME. I like the airline and don't really want to find an alternative and there is no real way I would be able to avoid his flights. Do you think there is a safety risk in flying in a plane that is in the hands of a rabid N?

Another question: If I wrote the airline and asked them to NOT hire him because of his NPD, would they really take it seriously??? Or would they think I was some kind of nutcase myself?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I don't like being anywhere near my exN let alone have him transport me anywhere.
I understand your concern but I don't think you should contact the airline, it's his business what he does in life and he's responsible for his actions (and the airline if they employ him).

As for the safety issue, at least you can be absolutely certain that he'll always be in full control of everything!

[Brigid]

Guest,
If he is flying big passenger jets, he is not alone in the cockpit.  There are at least 2 pilots and in the case of DC-10's and bigger, there are 3.  Besides, if he is an n he will protect himself at all costs.  I don't think he'd be wanting to bring the plane down.

I'm sure the airline personnel would not give you any credibility.  If they see a problem, they will take care of it.  There is no shortage of pilots that I'm aware of and they monitor their pilots very carefully.  Airline disasters are a public relations nightmare and they cannot afford to lose business in this economy.  

I think you are good to go.

Brigid

[write]

I think if npd was a reason not to do a responsible job thousands of people would need to be fired: npds almost always try to excel at something in my experience, and all the npds I've met were well-qualified and doing top jobs.

In my experience n's gain a tremendous amount of n-satisfaction from being 'an expert' or doing something no one else can do. I'm sure many top surgeaons, politicians and other people with great responsibility are narcissistic.

The harm they exert is mainly to those people who have close relationships with them- because the n is a taker and no giver, and anyone in an n-relationship won't get their own needs met and will be drained from trying to meet the n's neverending needs, and live with the aggrandised 'false self', with all it's insecurities and demands.

Unless you think he's so ill he can't do his job or have a specific reason to question his pilot ability I can't see you being taken seriously.

Do you feel like he's an actual risk to people he's not in a personal relationship with?

Of course, whether this means you should fly with him is another question...I wouldn't if it was giving me cause for concern, even though I suspect the most harm you'd come to en route is him doing something to embarrass you.

[Anonymous]

Do you think there is a safety risk in flying in a plane that is in the hands of a rabid N?

To be honest, I have no problem with it. They're going to fly the plane, not have a relationship with me.

If I wrote the airline and asked them to NOT hire him because of his NPD, would they really take it seriously??? Or would they think I was some kind of nutcase myself?

You know the answer.

bunny

[mum]

My ex is a raging N.  He is also responsible for some very high profile public structures and events and he knows what he is doing.  I echo the other comments about N's being VERY good at what they do, job wise.  I don't think they would ever let it be otherwise and in your ex's case, humility/empathy is probably not essential to the job.  Being exact probably is.

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks to all of you for your comments. You are probably right: he can fly a plane; it's relationships he can't do at all.  The only thing that concerns me is that, in my research of NPD, I have read that N's sometimes have psychotic episodes. Couple that with my xN's New Agey spiritual beliefs and you might have someone who is capable of becoming irrational while flying a passenger plane. Maybe I will luck out and he won't get hired at this particular airline, all on his own. That would be great.

Thanks again.

[Jaded911]

Hell yes I would!!!  After all, N believe they are God.  What horrible events could take place with God flying our plane?

But then again, maybe I would pass on a N pilot!

[menow]

Dear Guest,

I need to step in here and validate your initial doubt and complete concern about flying with this N as the pilot and even your thought about notifying the airlines.

You obviously know this N intimately and know or have learned what he is capable of. Yes, you may also have your own colors that you project onto him. But I like your concept.

If there were a plane crash, they(N's) would step over/on children, old ladies and anybody else that was in their way.... just to save getting a hairline cut on their perfect face. Unlike any of us in here, who actually take responsibility and caring for others beings and feelings seriously.

I imagine, knowing myself and others in here... we would take our job as a pilot extremely seriously, bringing these precious passengers home to their families at any cost. Because we couldn't live with the guilt... we actually CARE about our selves and the lives of others.

Unfortunately, it seems N's do not CARE about others and truthfully they don't really care about themselves. So I think as you have felt about your N, they would ultimately be at risk of putting their own bodies and therefore the lives of others in serious danger.  

And I love your concept of alerting the airlines he is applying to. What an amazing world if people got tested for their N levels as a prerequisite for any responsibility regarding other people!!!

And yes, if you called, I am sure the person in HR would think you were straight from the looney bin. I think it is also true as others have expressed that I do think it is best that you move on and put the focus on yourself now that you got away from the N.

When in doubt with an N, I think of these wise words, "Don't chase trouble! Run the opposite direction!" Let this N go. And thankfully, gratefully run.

That is my two cents. And I love that you trusted your instincts to bring it up in here. Thank you! I really enjoyed thinking about it all.

Menow

[October]

If there were a plane crash, they(N's) would step over/on children, old ladies and anybody else that was in their way.... just to save getting a hairline cut on their perfect face. Unlike any of us in here, who actually take responsibility and caring for others beings and feelings seriously.

Menow

I agree with this comment.  Ns would see very little difference between flying a planeload of people and flying a planeload of sheep or goldfish.  And as long as the N is at the front, maybe the difference is small??  I don't really know.

My own view is that the airline tests will be very stringent, and that if this person is unsafe to fly they will find out.  I think for my own sake I would write, spelling out the facts as calmly and concisely as I could, but without interpreting them, and ask for the letter to be retained on file.  Then it is up to the airline to act as it sees fit, bearing in mind that their first duty has to be to passenger safety.  But there are lots of Ns out there, carrying out their jobs really well.  Driving buses and trains, flying planes, looking after kids in school, and people in hospital, working in business.

It matters a lot if a psychiatrist despises his patients.  Does it matter if a pilot despises his passengers?  I don't know.  Probably most of them do.