Trying but not succeeding at not worrying.

[Plucky]

I'm going to bring my army with me in my head. I can imagine you all there, covered in fly dope, standing around me, with fly swatters!!

I'll be there!  Covered in fly dope!
Um, what is fly dope?

[b/k]

Hi there, GFN

Yes..........I could do an evil eye thing, if necessary. I like the idea too. I will first, though, stick with........ignoring the buzzing, if I possibly can do that and if I must respond, I think I'll try to say things that were suggested by Plucky, and if that doesn't seem to be computing....maybe the odd........expressive look might suffice, as I excuse myself asap.

My niece just graduated from high school last week.  Unfortunately, I couldn't attend her graduation.  Cuz there are just too many of us for the limited number of tickets she had.  But, boy, am I proud of her!  My, how time flies!  Geez, I feel old all of a sudden.    

GFN, I'm happy for you and I know that you are beaming with pride for your daughter.  I think she is very blessed to have such a wonderful mom!

Yep, we got our fly swatters all ready to go.   Nothing can ruin your special day now.    

Butterfly

[Anonymous]

Thanks Plucky!

Um, what is fly dope?

Bug spray.  Stuff to dope them up, confuse them, at which point they can't tell who, what, where, when and why to bite!

I think she is very blessed to have such a wonderful mom!

Yep, we got our fly swatters all ready to go.  Nothing can ruin your special day now.    

Thanks Butterfly.  Lot's!

GFN

[d'smom]

hi GFN,
hope I didnt miss your day. Ill come too if you want dressed in a giant 5 foot tall bat suit.

I will bring a large roast chicken disguised a mosquito and be casually and loudly munching it nearby.

I know itll go well. If i am late and missed it, i hope that it went (goes) wonderfully for you ....
Anna

[Brigid]

GFN,

I'm covered in bug juice, fly dope (that must be a Canadian term ), insect spray and that pissant is going to bounce off me like Teflon.  I am ready to protect and defend your honor and make sure that the special day is everything it should be.

Blessings,

Brigid

[jophil]

Hey GFN, I too want to be part of your defense team so I am going to jump a Jumbo jet and bring over some really nasty Australia outback critters and set 'em on this 'goose' who made you hurt ( that means a bad dude down here). We got bugs down here that eat tourists whole! Talk about tough.Some of our creepy crawlies chew the engines off 747's.
This goose is dead meat    ...... Were and when??

Johnno

[Anonymous]

Hi all:

Ill come too if you want dressed in a giant 5 foot tall bat suit.

I will bring a large roast chicken disguised a mosquito and be casually and loudly munching it nearby.

Thanks Anna!  Yes, the bigger the army the better!  No, you didn't miss it.  It's this coming Monday evening.  Hey!  That chicken/bat combination idea otta scare the insect well enough away eh?  (chickens again! )

Great Anna!  Thankyou so much!

that pissant is going to bounce off me like Teflon.

 
That will be all the entertainment I need!  Thankyou Brigid and for being ready to defend and protect my honor!  That is very brave and kind of you and I really appreciate it!  (Look out insect!!!! )

Hey John:

We got bugs down here that eat tourists whole! Talk about tough.Some of our creepy crawlies chew the engines off 747's.

Really??? I've heard about the crocs and roos but not these you describe.  Bring 'em on, John, and thanks for offering to help!  

This goose is dead meat ...... Were and when??

Be at the school Monday at 6:00 pm.

Thanks so much all!!

GFN

[Anonymous]

PS:  almost forgot:

Johnno

Shouldn't that be Johnnimo??
 
GFN

[Anonymous]

GFN,

I think the best thing to do is ignore the person.  If they start any BS just look at them and think of the guy on the subway in the trench coat, should bring maybe some rolled eyes and a chuckle on your part.

I sense a fear of yourself when dealing with this person, like you are afraid of losing it when they are around.  However you do realize that you are in control of your actions and reactions.  There seems to still be a lot emotional baggage to work through concerning this.

LM

[Anonymous]

Hi LM:

Good advice!  Thanks!  Yes....Mr. Trench coat!  Hahahahahahaha!!  The Purple Guy! Heehee!   It's funny to think of now.  Wasn't so funny then!  That laughing was all....an act, to draw attention, to keep me safer.

I sense a fear of yourself when dealing with this person, like you are afraid of losing it when they are around.

I don't really feel a whole lot of fear in this regard.  I'm more afraid of being N'd by the person, once again.  I am dignified and caring, so I don't see myself flying off and letting loose because my priority is my daughter's enjoyment.  I see myself as allowing insult and snide remarks to penetrate me, and then feeling N'd.   So this wall I'm trying to build.....is something to protect myself from that.  If I don't hear the snide remarks or insults, they won't penetrate and I will come away feeling like I protected myself from another N episode.

I'm also not looking forward to any pleasantries.  You know....."Oh....Hiiiii.....How ARRRRRRE you?   It's beeeeeeen a loonnnnnng time!   Howwwww havvvvvve you beeeeeeen?"

I know I'll want to say: "#$%^&* ^&*%$^     "

But, I intend to say:  "Good.  Thanks" and turn and speak to someone else, if that happens.

However you do realize that you are in control of your actions and reactions.

Absolutely.  I'm just trying to plan ahead, think up some actions/reactions I can live with, and have them ready to inact, if need be.  I could be worrying, probably am worrying, for nothing (waste of time ).  This person may do nothing to try to get my goat.  May avoid me.  I won't know until I'm there.  Making plans, however, is good for me.  It helps me to stop worrying and decide, ahead of time, how to deal.

There seems to still be a lot emotional baggage to work through concerning this.

Do you mean emotional baggage in regard to my experiences with this insect?  If so, I've been working through it for some time now.  But you're right......there's a train load!  I'm not worried that I'll lose it and look like a dope and reck my daughter's evening.  I am worried that other people might.  Like the insect's mate.  That person is just as explosive as a wack of dynamite.  I hope they don't show up, to be honest.  But if something like this beginnnnnnnnns to smellllllllllll......I'm outta there fast.  Leaving my flyswatting, dope wearing, big man-eating bug-carrying, huge chicken eating mosquito friends behind.....to battle the insects for me.

(Thanks you guys!!!!!  Mega thanks!!)

But if they do just show up and try to casually irk me, I do not intend to react much at all.  I think that is the best idea.  I can definately do what I decide to do, in this case, I think.  I can ignor my fear of being hurt and let the words buzz without making any sense.  I really think I can do that.
I'm gonna do my best anyhow.

Thanks for your thoughts and input.  Much appreciated.

GFN

[Portia]

Hiya GFN, just read this thread and I have another idea.

Selective hearing. Imagine you’re almost deaf to this person’s voice. It only happens with them because of some weird tonal/modulation thingy that means their voice frequency is almost a smidgeon outside of your range (like bats??). So you have to say to them: “I’ve been a bit deaf lately so you’ll have to speak up, sorry”.

Alternatively: why do you have to be sane one all the time? Like everyone else’s suggestions about the purple-faced guy, you can act as crazy as anyone if you wish! You can say “I don’t have to listen to you, I don’t want to, so I’m going to talk to x over there now. Bye.” Followed by <big crazed out smile>. Develop a twitch too, or even two. Twitchy eye and twitchy shoulders always put me on guard. And fiddle with something in your pocket, which could be a sharp object….

How about: <in urgent loud voice> “Excuse me! I have cystitis and I need the toilet NOW!”
Or finally: “Oh! <grab stomach> I think I ate something bad today….uh-oh….umnnn…gotta go…..techni-colour yawn approaching…” <retch like a cat does>.

Want some more? You’ll be fine!   No matter how nuts anyone else is

[Portia]

According to the prophecy:

PS take a see-through plastic bag filled with cold porridge/wet muesli and diced carrots. Hide in handbag. If person starts up, take out plastic bag and carefully place in their hands (so nobody else sees). Look serious, like you're handing them the secret of life. Don't say a word. Walk away.

PPS Do the stress management technique imagining the stream of cool flowing water.....

[Anonymous]

Hi there P:

"I’ve been a bit deaf lately so you’ll have to speak up, sorry"

I like this one!! A lot.  Makes the insects aware that I can't hear their buzzing.

Alternatively: why do you have to be sane one all the time?

Good question.  Could be, in this circumstance, I think I "should" be sane, as an example to my daughter.  But what message do I send her?

"It's necessary to be the sane one....all the time!" or

"Take crap under special circumstances"?

Sane.  HUmmm.  No such thing, really.

 

You can say “I don’t have to listen to you, I don’t want to, so I’m going to talk to x over there now. Bye.” Followed by <big crazed out smile>. Develop a twitch too, or even two. Twitchy eye and twitchy shoulders always put me on guard. And fiddle with something in your pocket, which could be a sharp object….

Gee this made me laugh!!  Too funny!  I think I could do something like that spontaneously, but planned??  I don't know if I can emmunlate Igor that well?  I'd need practice!  Or the fear of death facing me in the eye!
I'm not that afraid of this insect.  Just afraid of my daughter's evening being ruined, her feeling embarrassed, or upset in any way, and me being hurt by that and some word/s that I fail to deflect.

“Excuse me! I have cystitis and I need the toilet NOW!”

This I could do but not loudly.  But with a smile.

Or this:

“Oh! <grab stomach> I think I ate something bad today….uh-oh….umnnn…gotta go…..techni-colour yawn approaching…” <retch like a cat does>.

I guess we'll have to wait and see what is most appealing.  I could grab my throat and wretch too, but that would be tacky eh?

Tacky.  Lacking style or good taste.  The insect dispises tacky.  Thinks it's the inventor of style and good taste.  No other style or taste even comes close.

I can do tacky.  But how would my daughter feel about it?  Embarrassed by her tacky mother or proud of her for a tacky but tactful exit?
Not sure.

Want some more?

Yes!  Yes!  For the entertainment value alone!  Besides, there may be other situations that others are facing and some of your suggestions might help them out a little?

You’ll be fine!    No matter how nuts anyone else is  

Thankyou for this Portia.  Adding your faith to my collection too!

GFN

[Anonymous]

Portia, I must have been busy writing my post back to you while you were busy writing another to me yesterday.  I missed this until this morning:

PS take a see-through plastic bag filled with cold porridge/wet muesli and diced carrots. Hide in handbag. If person starts up, take out plastic bag and carefully place in their hands (so nobody else sees). Look serious, like you're handing them the secret of life. Don't say a word. Walk away.

Hohohohohohohohohoho! Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!              
This I could do ....on the way out, in the parking lot!!!
Too halarious to imagine!!!      

PPS Do the stress management technique imagining the stream of cool flowing water.....

Oh Yes!  And envision the insect, floating on the surface, in the pond below, and a large mouth bass, swimming casually nearby, looking up, and.......
I can do that!!  Thanks P!

According to the prophecy:

Yes, thanks for reminding me of that list of how to stay sane stuff (it's somewhere on the "Anything" thread eh?
Ya, I could also say:  "Would you like fries with that?"
(If the insect......so much as speaks to me!!!!)

           

I feel a lot better than I did when I first posted this thread.  You've all helped me to get my program in order.

Thanks so much (((((((((all))))))))!

GFN

[Anonymous]

Well my daughter's graduation was last night and it went beautifully!

All that worrying and planning and my abuser and mate did not show.  Didn't call my daughter.  Didn't send a card.  Made a big fuss to her, previously, inviting themself and saying:  "I'll be there for you!" to her.

I was relieved for me, but disappointed for my child.  Another broken promise for her to digest.  Another pile of baloney to hopefully discard.  We'll talk about it...when the time seems right.

My daughter is a kid who usually wears her hair in a pony with a baseball cap.  She likes loose t-shirts and baggie pants and hasn't worn a dress since she was a wee thing.  And her acne is typical for her age and she doesn't wear makeup.

I did her hair in long wavey curls (which she requested to my surprise) with two little braids, that came from the front, across the sides of her head, to the back, which were then tied and the rest curled.  Her dress was long and lovely and I took her to have her makeup professionally done (which the girl was young and did a marvelous job-----covering the acne perfectly but otherwise gave her a very natural look, as if she wasn't wearing makeup).   She looked like a princess!

Guess what?  She won a math award!!!!!!  I think the lady infront of me .... went deaf...... when they announced my daughter's name and I let out a massive cheer!!!  I am sooooo proud of my daughter!  What a turn around she's made!

Anyway.....just wanted to let you all know that the evening went wonderfully and I didn't have to deal with any insects.  Thankyou all so much for your support anyway!  I went there fully prepared and felt very happy and focussed.  You helped me to get to that state and I really appreciate it.

((((((all)))))))

GFN

PS:  And no, I didn't bring the little baggie of mushy stuff P suggested I put in my handbag, even though.....I might.....some day!     Might never happen but it gives me a laugh to think about!