Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Facing the monster

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miss piggy:
Hi Cadbury,

Take a deep breath.  We're still here rooting for you.  It isn't easy, is it?  But you're still standing. 

Go take your sweet baby to the park and have fun, just the two of you. 

(((Cadbury)))

MP

Sela:
Hiya Cadbury:

I'm with everybody else.  This isn't your fault.  People who act like this are sooooooo agrivating!!
Or...........

that's what they do best.  They're like nasty pests.

"Block sender" sounds like the answer.  That way......you won't be tempted to engage.

It's like an alcoholic pouring all the booze down the drain to keep from drinking it.

It might seem drastic but for the time being......it will work.

Then.......to keep from going to the liquor store!!! 

"Block sender" eliminates the liquor store.  There's nothing to respond to if it doesn't get through.

Do it!!  You can always unblock later...if you decide you must for some reason.

((((((((((((((((Cadbury)))))))))))))))

Your experience with the mediator might have seemed to you like you flew off the handle but any mediator with a brain knows there are tons of reasons for that.  You can't be sure what the mediator thinks, can you?I'm sure they see it all the time and I doubt very much that they judge people by it.  It's all such an emotional process so don't worry.  You'll be fine next time.  You can work on being fine and get to a place where you can get through it.

Block Sender  (nag, nag, nag  :D)

Sela

Cadbury:
Well I BLOCKED HIM :D..

I feel a little better this morning. the bad news is that I didn't block him until I had ranted at him like a mad loon. He is such an evil piece of poop and I couldn't seem to stop myself. It was like I was taken over by an evil demon  :?. I guess I had just got so worked up that I couldn't help myself. The only thing with an N is that none of it even affected him. It was like I told him how much I hated him and that I only saw him because I was legally obliged to, that I thought he was a worthless piece of humanity.... then I stopped (I didn't apologise at all), but he then carried on as if nothing had happened. It was insane, but taught me NOT TO ENGAGE (again!).

I have read everything you have all written and thank you all so much (yet again) for all your support. I really couldn't get through it all without you. Yesterday just got to me because he really hit me that for the rest of my life I am going to have this connection to TIthead, and that he has so many legal rights that he doesn't deserve. Sitting there hearing the mediator say what will be best for A (my son) and him having no conception of what tithead is actually like or capable of. Having a voice screaming in my head that the best thing for A would be for his father to drop of the face of the earth, while trying to discuss having to hand my precious son over to his idiot father was driving me insane. Then tithead was coming across like he was the most reasonable man on the face of the earth, whereas I was some insane woman trying to punish him. It just all got too much...

Well, today is another day.... I can start over :) Thanks again... off for retail therapy :)

Hopalong:
Whew. BRAVO! You blocked him!
(You're right, your ranting won't mean a thing to him.
What's more, you don't ever want to email another word to him in case he keeps copies of it in some fashion. I've never used IMs so I don't know if they can be printed out, but I sure have had email come back to haunt me.)

Had a thought about next time you see the mediator. You will be all calm and emotionally "empty" at that point, of course, so you migh simply look the mediator in the eye and say, I realize there was a great deal of emotion last time...but what's taken place in the background is not always visible under a reasonable surface. I'm am sure you have seen many traumatized people "lose their cool", but I got it out of my system, so let's just move on.

I've never been in that position, with a mediator, so maybe others who are more familiar with this system might have a more helpful idea, if you need one.

You're still CHAMP CADBURY!

Not to go all icky, but thinking back to my image of a woman in labor, it really is true that before the baby crowns, it literally pushes out, then slips back, then a little farther out, etc, before it's fully born. And another thing. For years, every time I heard the maxim "Two steps foward plus one step back..." all I ever heard was the word BACK. And beat myself up for it. Was only recently that I realized I'd never done the math! (I may have said this on another thread, sorry if so...senile me.)

Hopalong

Plucky:
Hey Cadbury,
Call me a pollyanna.  But I remember not that long ago you were still caring what tithead thought (before he was christened tithead) and feeling as if you missed him or wanted him back a little bit.

And now you hate his stinking guts.   yay!    Now THAT is progress!

Yes, it seeped out a bit.  It's a big feeling.  It can't be contained.  It's got to come out somehow.  Mum had some good suggestions.  Let it out, somehow. But don't hate yourself for hating him.  If that's the case, you're going to have to hate a lot of us!

I'm just glad you hate that git wholeheartedly. 

Let's hear it for unmitigated hate!  When warranted.

a twisted
Plucky

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