Hiya
CeeMee:
I guess I don't see myself all that clearly outside of how I've been negatively defined by others. I carry that confusion with me every where I go now. In some ways I look back and think I’ve been several different people; I’ve certainly behaved like different personalities. I can see now how they fit together, have been produced by certain sets of circumstances and how I
couldn’t have been other than I was. I made lots of ‘mistakes’.
Who am I? I’m only just beginning to see myself anywhere near clearly (I hope it’s clear anyway). I’m only just now (age 44) making sense of who I became, given the genes and environment I’ve lived in. Who am I? The (current) result of all my experiences and thoughts. I'll be different tomorrow.
I understand where I’ve come from and that allows me to see why I am like I am. It doesn’t excuse all the truly bad things I’ve done (hurt myself, hurt other people) but it does give me an understanding of
why. And it falls into place. There are always reasons.
A mistake is not a person, it is an event.I do believe that there are unspoken rules and to ignore them can have negative consequences. If rules are unspoken, we don’t know what they are. Clear, honest communication could probably solve half the world’s troubles! I can’t ignore rules I don’t know about can I? I need to know them to properly ignore them, in the sense of flouting the rules, or breaking them.
Here’s an example. I presume that it would be a complete no-no to post a thread directly to Dr G here, because it would be unethical for him to give his professional opinion directly to some anonymous person. But I don’t know that. Is that an unspoken rule I’ve imposed upon myself? Maybe. Would I be willing to test it? Maybe. But I kind of feel that this board exists because of Dr G and it’s unspoken that we don’t ask too much. Why? I wonder how many people would agree with me here. And yet it’s all unspoken. I could ask Dr G! Obtain the answer from him. Why not? I think we often accept 'rules' that are not really rules at all.
All that last paragraph is about unspoken rules and self-imposed rules. Hitler said “What good fortune for those in power that people do not think.” It takes a lack of fear to question the unspoken rules, to ask for clarification, to ask ‘what really happened to me then?’. Many people are too frightened to ask those questions. Some of us simply cannot live with ourselves until we find our own answers. The short-term consequences can appear incredibly negative! Life isn't easy.
There’s keeping up the normal, ordinary, everyday status quo that drives some of us crazy, or digging up the ‘hurtful’, ‘dangerous’ (to whom?) truth which will free our minds.
Hiya Mud:
Do you wish to be harmed or abused? Do you not wish to be treated with kindness and respect? Other than some truly disturbed people is that not how everyone wants to be treated?Nope! I wanted to be harmed and abused, once. Was I truly disturbed? Not enough to be locked up. Lots of folks are like that. Look at the kids who go out every Friday and Saturday night and drink until they throw up and pass out on the streets. They’re abusing themselves. Do they really enjoy it? Nope. But they would say they do. I did similar things to try and escape the contents of my own head.
seldom if ever how a person truly wishes to be treated by others.I didn’t know how I truly wanted to be treated. I had no idea. When you're brought up by people who do not love you, you have no benchmark, no reference points. This is why women stay with men who beat them up – they don’t know any different. They think violence is love. I’m still learning to hug in a healthy way! It often feels soooooo unnatural.
non conformists who intentionally depart from social normsIs that me?? I didn’t do it intentionally when I was five years old. I just didn’t know what to do to fit in. And I didn’t want to fit in! I thought most other five year olds were complete animals and I was scared of them.
Is the Prince Albert thing very rude???? It could be!

pleeease explain before my mind comes up with something very weird indeed......

whoops, too late

with that in mind, better go
