Dr. Phil show on narcissism

[Brigid]

Marta, honey, are you OK?  Maybe I missed something, but you're not making a lot of sense to me.  Are you seeing a T these days?  Are you on meds?  What's up?

((((((((Marta))))))))))

Brigid

[reallyME]

bean,

My daughter is 16, loves the Lord and just recently got a job.  She currently lives with her sister in an apt.  I did all I could to help her heal from the neglected years that I wasn't there for her.  At this point, she will not go to therapy, does not really take good care of her body (she might have endometriosis), and there is little I can do other than keep urging her to go to the hospital.  It's out of my hands, other than to pray and try to talk gently so she will not "pooh pooh" me.

Marta,

What on EARTH?  I don't understand a word of what you said here, so I hope Portia does.  I'm asking the same thing...are you on meds, off meds or what?  Not sure where you were going with what you were saying, or if maybe your post was meant to be private between you and Portia.  You don't have to answer me, but I think most of us are a bit baffled with whatever you were trying to get across in general.  So, just letting you know how I think it was perceived here.  BLessya

~ReallyME

[portia guest]

thought I'd pop in here.....hello

hey it's Saturday. It's sunny and I'm here. What the heck is wrong with me? Why aren't I sitting in the garden?

Marta, sorry nope, I don't get it. Am i supposed to get it? Well I don't. That's the truth. Are you scared of me or just hate my guts? I can't tell and frankly, what you feel and think is up to you. You can stay here or go or do whatever you wish, it's nothing to do with me.

All: Marta and myself, we had a spat a while back and kind of don't get along, perhaps. Hope that explains it. I'm outta here

[moonlight52]

Hi Everyone   I had a thingy happen 14 years ago with a girl friend I was pregnant and said something snooty to her she said some thing first really, but I made every attempt possible to make up.It was of course over some thing silly.She would not make up .All of a sudden out of the blue two weeks ago (I thought IT was over with long ago) she came over to me and said "its officially over Moon" I said "Thank you Jan I am so glad"you see it had been so over 14 years ago for me ,why on Gods green Earth anyone would waste their time being mad at me is beyond belief to me.Like I said Jan had every right to have her feelings for as long as she felt them.That is something no one else can tell another how to feel .
 " Lets play a game my hubby said one day (this was over 20 years ago)what animal would YOU be if you were an animal"?"I say I would be a cute little deer "Nope sez my hubby you would be a tree sloth because they hang upside down from a tree and do not move and eat all day"
Now you would just have to get he sez this in the most loving way and he is very funny  .Then he sez Tree sloths are too lazy too hold grudges .So the bad thing he thinks I am lazy maybe but he likes it I do not hold grudges .There a moral of the
story in there somewhere .Hey what kind of animal would you be if you were an animal? I guess I am stuck with this tree sloth thing I have been for years I can not shake it .Go see Ice age the meltdown movie at least tree sloths  are getting some respect now .TREE SLOTHS OF THE WORLD UNITE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hugs
Moon

[reallyME]

bean- Do you two ever talk about how you wanted to kill (I think you said before) some of your children?

I think you are talking about my discussion when I was oppressed spiritually.  I had thoughts of killing everyone and myself included.  When that devil was cast out, those thoughts ended.

I have not TOLD my children that.  I don't believe in speaking things like that to children and when I even hear a person say "so and so will KILL me" it makes me just CRINGE.

As far as my daughter...I have apologized to her many times for neglecting her and putting other people before her, but she lived so long without me, raising herself and her sisters, her attitude is "I did it so long on my own, what do I need YOU for?  You think you are just gonna waltz into my life now, after I did all the hard work, and try and be "mom?"  You got another think comin.

So that's where it's at.  She actually is doing very well living with her sister, and it is her sister who used to tell her "don't talk to Mom that way."  She would be so nasty to me, holding such a grudge against me.  One day when I called the police cause she took my telephone and refused to give it back, he told her "now look, I know your mother made some mistakes and you are upset with her, but it sounds like your mom has really been trying to do better by you.  So you have a choice...you can either stay here and mind your mother or I can take you down to the station and you can sign off as an emancipated minor and do things on your own."  My daughter stayed with me till she moved out and in with her sister.  I see her every sunday at church and during the week once in a while too.

~ReallyME

[reallyME]

bean

So your (1 now adult? and 1 still teenage) daughters do not know you had demon(s) cast out of you?  Do they know about your bipolar?

Um ok, first of all, Bean, I think you have misunderstood most of what I said.

My daughters were very much aware that I had demons cast out of me.  It was back in 1997, when they were younger, but we all went to the same church. 

They also are well aware of the misdiagnosed (I believe) bipolar disorder.  My daughters were the ones who had a fit that I was on meds to begin with for it.  They are both "faith believers" and see meds as a sign of weak faith.  My eldest daughter works at a mental health center.

My 16 yr old has always been very clear about what she was mad at me about and her older sister told her "let it go. get over it and stop trying to keep punishing mom forever"

See, back in 2001-2003, I was counseling a lady, which, due to my then obsessive nature, became a full-time job, and resulted in me resenting my family and neglecting and ignoring my children for those years.  During that time, I got pregnant again, was so sick that I could barely lift my head from my pillow, and my eldest child got into promiscuousness.  I wasn't there for her like I should have been, due to the counseling of the lady as well as the extreme problems during the pregnancy.  My 16 year old is holding a grudge about that even to this day.

She has become narcissistic and has a "prima donna" attitude.  Everyone sees it, not just me, but everyone doesn't realize that she was pretty much that way to begin with, yet the neglect compounded the problem.  So, I've done what I could to be a healthier mother to her, but, of course her attitude is "you weren't there when I needed you, so don't think you will pop back into my life and be "mom" to me now.

I hope this clarifies things for you, Bean.  My children are not sheltered in any way, shape or form from things like childbirth, spiritual matters, feelings, confrontations, etc.

~ReallyME

[Marta]

Brigid,

Speaking for myself. I don't have a problem with mental illness whatsover. It runs in my family. However, with "schizophrenia", it is not the illness itself that I shy away from. It is the juggling act from physically going from one pole to another, if you know what I mean. It seems unfair and quite exhausting. I don't think its so good for the penguins or polar bears either. Especially when showing up on the North Pole is impossible, and conditions are so hazardous; but it seems to be a nice place; at least from the pics. Anyway, I know so little about these things.

Marta

[write]

There's nothing wicked about mental illness, though people with or without it can be cruel or make bad decisions.

I think if you have a mental illness there's a 'duty' to those around you to try and manage or treat it though: it can be very wearing on family and friends. Accepting that is a big part of managing life with bipolar I think, realising how it's impacting people around you. It's easy to lose friends and relationships over it, and to feel like no one understands or cares when really they're just worn out or you upset or frightened them.

I have days I stay home, take meds and sleep. They used to be bad days before I adopted that strategy, now they're just days I have to take off.

It took me a long time to accept I needed to fit my life with my illness, since stress is a big trigger I have had to reduce high-demand activities considerably, which in my more grandiose moments I don't want to do of course!

[moonlight52]

Having Bipolar is only some thing I am ashamed of because society sez it is something to feel  ashamed of really.When I did not know I was Bipolar.I would get panic attacks.I was afraid of small places.I would get afraid for no reason.
I do not have a big temper but when my twin brother died ,then my Mom who was loving died 5 years later I was sad a long time.When I was 17 and my brother was alive I WAS VERY HAPPY and I was bipolar and had mood swings .When I was young everything in the world was beautiful to me.When I met my husband I was 17,he was 19 .My moods were from seeing the world as total beauty to sadness ,back and forth.My husband fell in love with me the odd one and believe me even in the hippie days I was odd .But it was a good cover.And now we know I am Bipolar. My hubby sez I always knew there was something different about you I always liked .When I was 17 I was sent to live with older sis at her apt away from n-father.At that time I met my husband.
I spoke of faeries,the magic of the moon and planets.My Bipolar is part of the reason my husband loves me because it is apart of who I am.If he and my darling daughters  have no shame of my bipolar why should I ?There has been loss in my life but I look around my girls and my hubby  accept Bipolar as if it were some kind of allergy I have, then I have a lot to be grateful for.
My children 27 and 13 are old enough to kid me in the most loving way "have you taken your pills today"?
I joke back they do not have a pill for what is wrong with you !ha ha I am a mad creature and am well loved for it.
Moonlight

[moonlight52]

Marta  It is Bipolar where we chase the bears from pole to pole Schizophrenia is some thing quite different.
           I like to find humor in all .Thanks to my meds I am quite rested now and I find myself chasing
           almost no polar bears at all.
           Moon

[moonlight52]

HI Surgarre     I am glad to be loved warts and all .My girls and hubby are not saints either .We are just us.A good team.
                     Love and Light
                     Moon

[gratitude28]

I used to be embarrassed about being an alcoholic, but now I feel blessed. It is my illness, and if I ever let it take over again, there is no doubt I will die from it. I will also make everyone around me miserable. I work hard now to live life on life's terms (and for me that includes taking medication for depression, so that I can enjoy my children, my husband, my ugly dog and everything that is thrown my way ). I have ups and downs, but far less of them now that I am starting to understand myself and help myself be honest and real. To me that means not being emabarrassed that I have a disease!
You are all good and kind people to be here sharing and trying to improve your own lives and the lives of others. We can all help one another and make our lives stronger!
Thank you for helping me with your posts!!!
Love, Beth

[reallyME]

bean: Now I realize you'll likely say "OH, don't be concerned about ME...I'm fine."

Actually no, not at all.  I appreciate your concern and actually found your post very nicely put.

As for you learning not to hang with black/white thinkers, I understand that.  I sometimes tend to lean toward that, because of my beliefs God-wise.  His way or the highway.  I sometimes can be very black/white but over the years, I've been learning more about considering the "gray" parts too.

Thanks again so much for your caring and your input, bean.  It means a lot to me.

Blessya

L

[Marta]

The discussion may have gotten a little off-track here. My discussion was NOT about anyone's personal preferences (to bring that up on a board for speculation would be a cheap thrill at best and really a CRIME, because so many have suffered from abuse of all kinds, including sexual abuse) but about an "ailment" of a far more general nature. Cheap covert innuendos are not only out of place here, they discount legitimate suffering of many who may have suffered sexual abuse and may keep them from opening up their hurts and horrific abuse they may have suffered in childhood, memories of which may just have started surfacing in their minds. Revictimizing the victim, if you will.

Marta

[Hopalong]

Marta,
I completely missed any "cheap covert innuendos" or "cheap thrills" or "revictimizing the victim". Sorry to hear such accusations again.

It's our discussion. Doesn't matter who starts a thread, the board belongs equally to all (and has no director).

No need to try to control the board, direct and correct. It's a good place, a self-correcting place. The "community voice" is honest, open and brave. Rancor is rare here.

Hops