no one can change someone else!
If after 19 years he knows your feelings and isn't going to compromise it probably is time for you to move on.
I did that in my head first: built my self-esteem and worked on myself.
It came to a point I knew I wasn't honouring G_d or him or myself by staying.
Plus- now we're almost divorced he is changing faster than ever.
I guess I set him free to pursue his journey, which was too tied up with mine

He even booked a therapy appointment of his own volition! and is reading- Judith Sills!!!
G_d is love RM, not this punitive judgemental human-like figure so many of us have been taught.
And the marriage vows- I said 'so long as we both shall live'; but our lives became a death...of our real selves.
I can give him far more love at a distance than I ever did close up when I was so hurt and disappointed.
sometimes we just have to get a bit more creativeit's hard to be creative when you're not being true to your authentic self though.
I remember that pain of turning into someone I didn't want to be and feeling constantly frustrated and cheated when all I wanted was to make a good life together, and we weren't on the same planet half the time.
I started to be really critical, he was 10 times worse. I guess we were both looking for some kind of perfection instead of realising it came from us and we just didn't have the compatability and both had emotional issues from childhood.
Now I want to be with someone who'll meet me half way and help create that beautiful life together. Until then, I'm going to cope and make a good life for me and my boy.
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