Hi all, today's my b'day (44!
) and we're just doing a family supper thing this evening. That's what I chose. Anyway, DD1 wasn't scheduled to work today then called yesterday and said they had changed her schedule and that she has to work, I said no problem. I was fine with that, I mean I expect her to meet her work obligations. Anyway, she would have plenty of time to get here in time for supper and she mentioned that she could probably still come for supper but she kinda said it in a hesitant way and I told her that I understood if she needed tonight to study for this coming week. She said "Yeah, but it's your birthday" and I said "Yeah, but I'd feel really badly if you came here instead of studying and messed up on that Geology retest" (She's flunking Geology 101
---and yet she's so smart
) so she said that she might need to study after all and I said that was fine and that I'd talk to her tomorrow (which is now today). She had to be at work at 1pm, she gets off at 6 pm, it's now 5:20 pm and all I've heard from her all day is a short text message sent from work that reads, "Hey what r u up to?" No "Happy Birthday" or any mention of it. Just a 1 line short message, not even a phone call.
This is so typical of her. I just spent over 200$ on material for curtains for her bedroom here (the one she has never used in our new house), let her pick out the material, bought her a new purse, took her out to lunch during which she said she needs money to get her haircut (ummm, she works 20 hours a week, or a little less and she can't afford a haircut?? All that she has to pay for out of her $$ is her food, gas and fun, and she makes 9$ an hour so I don't see where she should need money from me for a haircut but I didn't say that, just said I'd get back with her later about the money for the haircut) She's flunking Geo 101 and of course according to her it's the professors fault, she didn't do well the last two semesters either, and this is a child who could talk in complete sentences at 2 years old, knew all her colors and shapes at 18 months old, and we were not these supper pushy parents.....she just picks up on things easily.
O.K., I"m rambling and I told myself I wasn't gonna get on here and whine.......and I'm trying so hard to not expect anything from her because that is what she gives, nothing. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays, Christmas---we get nothing form her! Last Christmas I gave her money to buy something for her brother and sister and if I remember correctly she bought her sister some very cheap earrings (like they were probably 2$ specials and she never got her brother anything), so she basically pocketed that money. She wasn't raised this way, we've never neglected her. The rest of us (Grandparents, me, her dad, brother and sister) do the traditional gift giving, get together for meals and in the case where our younger kids don't have money to buy a gift they usually make us a card or something. But to not even bother to text me a "Happy Birthday" message??????????? Yeah, it hurts.
I'm more and more convinced all the time that she has a Personality Disorder. Yes, many of you have told me to go see a counselor about her. We've offered her counseling many times but she won't go. She gets depressed, overly anxious about stuff, calls me and goes ballistic at me as though it's my fault she's failing Geology and in fact said that it's our fault because we're making her work. I use to argue back with her but that's like pouring gas on a fire, so I just listen to her rant and let her dig her hole deeper. Yes, we're making her work this semester because last year, when she wasn't working, she lost all her academic scholarships and it's costing us out the whing whang to pay for her to go this semester, so she's having to help with costs. Oh, and if she doesn't pull a 3.0 this semester, we're cutting her money to a drip and she'll have to work full time then.
She's more than spoiled, it's like she's disconnected from us and always has been. So many N traits fit her, but so do some borderline personality traits along with some paranoia traits.
Anyway, those of you with kids who have broken your heart and nearly driven you crazy a thousand times will understand where I"m coming from.
THanks for listening.
