just been dumped

[axa]

He left an hour ago saying that he would die if he stayed with me.  He packed his bag and walked.  I am just in shock.  He says he is depressed and has withdrawn from me.  I dont know where to start again.  I hate being alone.  I see he is sick and I am sick of the sickness but he just walked out as if I was nothing to him.  I want to write but do not know what to say as it is all so bloody frightening.  Where do I begin.  I hate the thought of the loneliness and emptyness.  I really need some help with this.

[sea storm]

Dumped. Boy that is a hard word to even say for me. A month ago I was dumped. I felt such panic and fear that it was overwhelming. I thought that my partner was my whole life. This was the beginning of opening to who I am again. Not a journey I wanted to choose.
There is help at this site. Keep pouring your heart out. This has been my lifeline. Most people out there aren't equipped to handle broken hearts.
Good for you for getting help right away. God bless you on your journey.
One thing I realized is that although I thought the breakup came out of nowhere there had been plenty of signs but I just couldn't bear to look at them. It  does not matter who learves. There is no shame. You are not automatically to blame because your partner left. Somehow I felt terrible that I was LEFT. It is such a huge loss of control.
Keep writing. I would like to hear from you.

[GAP]

I feel your pain.  There is nothing worse then the beginning of the end of a relationship.  Isn't it strange that even though the person you are with is depressed or abusive or neglectful....even though the relationship has been on the rocks for a while....the pain of the actually act of moving out is soo painful.  The thought of the future is so scary.  It is just something you have to live thru but I found writing and support groups such as this incredibly helpful, healing is a processes, take extra good care of yourself.

[WRITE]

Oh I am sorry. It's horrid when a relationship ends- especially if the memory of the hopeful new start is still fresh.

 I hate being alone.

I am coming to realise this is something fundamental to address before even contemplating a relationship.

Now I am completely alone again I feel a compulsion to jump into a relationship, even though it's not good timing. I am resisting and instead spendign the time working on other aspects of my life and on myself- getting used to living alone, not being in a relationship, and enjoying life anyway.

Just the word we use 'dumped' shows what connotations it has when we're not the one leaving- but try not to see it that way. That's very negative language.

Your partner left for their own reasons, whatever words they spoke.

You are still you and as whole- or not- as you were before.

Hold on to and build up yourself.

You will not die from loneliness or lack of sex or companionship or from rejection or being misunderstood. You can meet all these needs for yourself, and you will have other better relationships in the future.

Where do I begin.

are there practical things to sort out? Work, children? Have you eaten dinner? Who can you talk to whilst your emotions are raw and in shock?

Post here for support; as Gap says, take extra care of yourself ((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))

[gratitude28]

(((((((((((((((((((axa)))))))))))))))))))))))

This sounds like a beginning to me... not an end. You are afraid because now your life can and will change. Are you up to the challenge? You can spend your life in a crappy isituation forever... or you can take a risk and find things you never knew or felt. It takes some time. But soon the days go from being mostly bad to mostly good. And then you don't remember what it was like to hurt all the time.
Hang in there and vent vent vent
Love, Beth

[Stormchild]

((((((((((AXA))))))))))

[Hopalong]

Oh Axa.
I'm very sorry. I've been there and felt all the emptiness and shock and fear...
I am alone now and safe. I didn't know that I had a good friend growing inside myself.

I can't say it better than what's been said here...it does not have meaning who left first, hon.

Deal with the ending, the passage of this relationship. Not who closed a door and turned a back. That doesn't mean anything except that the last dramatic gesture this person turned his back and closed the door. It has no meaning. Let him have it.

You were here, in life, in yourself, before you even met him, and before he chose to walk away, and you will be here tomorrow.

Be a friend to yourself. Reach out, and in 3-D too.

Keep posting, pour it out. We'll listen.

Hopalong