Hope for the New Year

[Gaining Strength]

2006 has been a difficult but good year.  I have moved forward through depression and anxiety that has plagued me most of my life and paralyzed me for 5 or so years.  I am heading into the new year with hope for the future - real hope this time.

Specifically this year I hope that I can reclaim my house and sell it moving to a neighborhood overflowing with children for my little son.  And I hope I can get my business started and have an income at last.  And I hope I can address my tax and insurance problems - my financial mess - get a plan and get started on it.

These are my hopes for the new year.  What are yours? - Gaining Strength

[WRITE]

It is wonderful to see that sense of calm and losing the anxiety GS- I am so pleased for your renewed hopefulness and growing health and strength (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I think you all know my not-so-secret desire for 2007 to meet someone as a partner and make a good relationship together; but I also know that can't come to order so I also wish to continue making a good life regeardless, to steer my son through his pre-teen moods, and for a giant dose of patience to keep supporting and loving N ex whatever moods he is having!

[axa]

My hope for the New Year is to grow and know that I am worth so much more than an abusive relationship.


axa

[Hopalong]

I hope I find a funny affectionate smart boyfriend.

Hops

[Hopalong]

Then again...

I try (usually) NOT to make NY Resolutions, or even think of hopes, as it sets me up for failure and disappointment.

Hops

[Gaining Strength]

Hops - I can't believe these words came out of your mouth!!!  "as it sets me up for failure and disappointment."  You who are the beacon of encouragement, always the bearer of good tidings and finding the positive in the haystack of negativism and disappointment.  Say it ain't so!!!

I'm going to disregard your last post and replace it twenty-fold with your original - "I hope I find a funny affectionate smart boyfriend."

That's the message I'm holding in thought for you.  My new motto is, "You have to believe in order to receive." 

Repeat after me, "You have to believe in order to receive."  Once again, come on, repeat again, "You have to believe in order to receive."  That's it.  Now see that funny, affectionate, smart, boyfriend in your mind.  Oh there he is just waiting for you to believe.  If you don't believe you won't recognize him when he is standing right in front of your nose.

your friend and longing to be a fellow ENCOURAGER - Gaining Strength - I really am!!

[Hopalong]

GS, I know you are, and you do! (((((((((((GS)))))))))))))))

I just am not sure I believe that in concentrating on a future manifestation of anything, I'll help it come about. I do wish I had a partner but I don't want to focus on it. Maybe that's why I backpedaled.

Unless the next few minutes or the next morning counts. Where my paralysis kicks in is in daydreaming, and not dealing or doing...anything in the present.

I did get a huge logjam of some paperwork done! And more to go, but I have 3 days off now.

Thanks for your sweet response, dear GS. Your support is so lovely for me.

hugs,
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

I just am not sure I believe that in concentrating on a future manifestation of anything, I'll help it come about.

Okay, I get it.  Your crystal  ball has a crack in it.  Well that's okay, I don't have a crystal ball but I'm still going to believe on your behalf if you don't mind.  Why not throw caution to the wind and just dream?  Forget about the H word (hope not hop).  I guess you could become Hope-along. LOL

[WRITE]

not sure I believe that in concentrating on a future manifestation of anything, I'll help it come about

yeah, I don't think it's like a magic talisman or anything but it's like say if you want to attract more wealth into your life or a new career, give things away- your work time and money; if you want anything find a way to put your love and passion out there and it seems to work as a magnet somehow....

In a book I read by Barbara De Angelis she said make a list of attributes a partner must have for you- not only do I find that focussed me and helps me not do that mooning daydream tune out things I should be paying attention to (!) but the first thing happened was a couple of things jumped off the page which I needed to address for myself if I wasn't going to have double standards!

You will meet someone Hops, and a very lucky guy he will be too.

Merry Christmas everyone, much love and good things in 2007!!!!!!!!

[Hopalong]

GS, you're such a love.

I'm still going to believe on your behalf if you don't mind.

Mind?    I'm very touched. And I know from experience you got great vibes!!!!!!!
Funny...if you believe I'll find someone to hold and love, I'm more inclined to believe it's possible.
Thank you.

As to why not dream...the truthful answer is that I need to act. Been dreaming a loooooong time.

Hi Write, Merry Christmas and peaceful happy new year to you too! I hope you have a mellow day tomorrow.
Thanks for inviting me to think about my list of attributes in an ideal mate. This is practice:

1.  Funny. I would melt at the ankles for a man who takes pleasure in making me laugh. I have a few decades' worth of laughter stored up. If he delights in sneaking up on my funnybone, I'd be in bliss.

2. Honest. (This used to come before funny, then there was menopause.) I want him to never be brutally honest, but always ethically honest with me, if you know what I mean. And it ain't a euphemism for being critical of me "in the name of honesty." Just to be a guy who voluntarily and comfortably shares his basic truths with me. At the same time, he needs to tell me my cellulitey ass is lovely.

3. Kind. Not kind as in charitable, but kind as in really warm hearted. Really able to see me as beloved, warts and all, because his good heart is the lens he looks through, not the current culture.

4. Intelligent. Not sarcastic or cynical but definitely very sharp and keen observer of life, and enjoys...

5. Conversational. I'd love to be with someone who just naturally enjoys communicating and talking and sharing observations and daily thoughts and stories and such.

6. Curious. Don't need a mountain climber but someone who likes travel whether it's around a new corner or a new country. And who's as curious about new individual people as about culture.

7. Tolerant. Someone who is not judgmental and hostile toward people who are different, but who genuinely loves the diversity of planet earth and its people.

8. Likes animals and plants.

That'd do. Oh, forgot to say...

9. Health-minded. Basic good habits, no addictions, appreciation of wholesome food and exercise (but not obsessed with it all).

10. This is a wish, not a requirement: would go to church with me now and then.

That was fun to write. Thanks, Write.

love,
Hops

[WRITE]

This has been such a difficult christmas somehow- warding off illness, coping with my son and ex.

So it's a joy to come back and read your attribute list and focus way out on the future instead of the introspection which is currently driving me crazy as I am trying to monitor myself and keep my mania in check....it's the rapid-cycling thing too so it's alternating with strong depression. But somehow I am hanging in there. It's the best I have been at my worst for a long time ( if that makes sense )

I'd like a guy who will go to my church and I his, in fact I wouldn't be interested in someone who wouldn't I don't think.

Well, my five minutes computer time is up, I am going home to nestle down with a book if I can concentrate or out to swim if I can't...oh yes, I have a therepeutic activity for every mood stage now!

Almost got thumped at work by someone psychotic today, the manager said 'oh I think she's harmless'....I thought trust me- I know she's not, I can sense unexploded aggression from behind a wall these days.

he needs to tell me my cellulitey ass is lovely.

 

Hope everyone got through yesterday and today okay. Can't wait to begin the new year.

~W

[CB123]

Write

I loved your post--I definitely got your comment about being the best you'd ever been at your worst.  I'm living in that world these days with my son. 

I'd love to hear about your different therapeutic activities for every mood.  We are open to every new idea we can get for handling moods.  Right now, he is heavily medicated, but he will have to have less meds at some point or he won't be able to get back to life.  Any ideas that you have for coping would be much appreciated.

CB

[moonlight52]

My Hope for the new year is in motion

To finally engage in positive attachments

I finally have walked into the next phase of understanding life and living here and now in true honesty.

Write I do understand the different moods everyone experience's them

Mine have always been fear and sadness Fear is conquered

Members of foo would speak with me and I would still seem the same to them I am sure but I am not.

CB I am so glad about your son and for him to have  a parent that cares and loves him so very dearly is the best thing for any child facing mental health issues.

I do admire your loving steadfastness but of course that is what a kind parent does.....

I have good will to all and that is such a good feeling to hold in one's heart.

love to you and so much more

I have learned so much 

thank you

[gratitude28]

(((((((((((((((((((GS)))))))))))))

What a great thread
Like you, I have learned a lot this year and in knowing that I am not 100% at fault for everything in my life and that I am not the "weird black sheep" I always believed I was, I am starting to feel happier with myself.
I've also realized how much I love my husband, which really scares me. I feel very defensive about it, especially as he is handsome and now he's this workout stud... oh, Hops, I hope he likes my celulitey butt when he gets home.
Soooo.... one of the hugest things on my list this year is to learn to eat when I am hungry... to follow write's wise examples here... to get a moderate exercise program firmly underway (no, I don't have to be Carl Johnson to start working out a bit...). I think that is my biggest goal. I need to feel comfortable with myself. I am tired of feeling like the Hunchback's ugly cousin.
((((((((((((((((my firends)))))))))))))) I missed you!!!!!!
Love, Beth

[gratitude28]

p.s. Hopsy,
When you meet the right, most awesome guy, you may not even have a clue.
I thought my husband was rather geeky and certainly not the kind of guy I normally liked.  He just got under my skin...
Love, Beth