I could use a few buddies

[seastorm]

Hey That one guy:

I am glad to hear you are going to college. There you can meet kindred spirits. There are some great courses like Interpersonal Communications, Verbal and Non Verbal comuuniciations that are really mind expanding and can show you a lot about relationships.

$40,000.00 in DEBT for credit cards??????????? This is a major whoops. It seems like you feel responsible for her debt.  I am gald you mentioned this as it is making the picture clearer.

It is hard to see an angel lose her wings. But I think you need to for your own self preservation.

Take very good care of yourself. Think about finding a buddy to bowl with. That would be a neat goal. Sometimes a goal can haul you out of a very nasty pit.

Lots of love,

Sea storm

[THATONEGUY00]

seastorm, Just so we are on the same page, thats 40,000 dollars in school loans and credit card debt combined, with 95% of that being school loans. I do not feel responsible for her debt but while we are living together I know that I can always do my part to help with the bills. She came home last night from shopping with her sister, and she was just so beautiful. I tried to give her a kiss and she wouldn't let it go any further. Its like she is afraid of intimacy, well physical intimacy anyway

[Leah]

Paul,

Here is an excellent site:  http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/  for you,  tremendously insightful ........ and eye opening too!

Take care,

Leah

[Leah]

How do you feel around your partner?

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page1.html

[Stormchild]

Beautiful, unavailable [to you], and conspicuously kind and giving to everyone within your range of vision - except you.

Paul, do think about this... it's not an uncommon experience for many of us here.

[THATONEGUY00]

Wow lots of responese....thanks guys ! I feel so much better just being able to talk to people and actually be understood.. I am so glad I am posting here. As far as the website I am on it right now and it is giving some very good pointers, I have never set boundaries, so thats something I need to put thought into. The question how do I feel around her, well I feel great, but at times I do feel as if I am being judged. She is very anal retentative, I will do all the chores, laundry vaccuum dusting, clean the bathrooms wash windows, didshes, mop- the works ! But its so close to the wya she likes it but its just off a little, just enough to make her go crazy because its not her way. So I di feel like the things I do are sometimes not ever going to be good enough.

[THATONEGUY00]

I can pin point the time when she started to change, it was during finals week of her second to last semester of grad school, in which she just graduated in december. I think she is aware that I have mixed feelings about the way some things are, but like I said in an earlier post. I will not just out of the blue bring it up anymore. Because The lack of results in the past has lead to this decision. She doesn't think there is a problem, she doesn't see anything wrong with the relationship, therefore she doesn't worry alot like I do.

[Leah]

She is very anal retentative, I will do all the chores, laundry vaccuum dusting, clean the bathrooms wash windows, didshes, mop- the works!

She is a very focused person who can accomplish anything. She sticks by her morals and ethics, and will not bend. She is a very strong person. When ever there is a problem with her family, every single one of hem call her and rely on her because she always knows what to do, or what the best way to handle the situation is.

She is $40,000.00 in DEBT for credit cards.   $40,000 dollars in school loans and credit card debt combined, with 95% of that being school loans. I do not feel responsible for her debt but while we are living together I know that I can always do my part to help with the bills. She came home last night from shopping with her sister, and she was just so beautiful. I tried to give her a kiss and she wouldn't let it go any further.

She is very very generous, when it comes to birthday and also when it comes to holidays. I hated christmas shopping this year, we went so much but thats because she will not pay ticket price for anything, it must be a sale. we only spent around 250 dollars on my family of 5 brothers and sisters mom dad step mom step dad two nephews and three sets of grandparents, and they all end up with a big bag full of many gifts. I was so impressed with what she had done and how far she stretched a dollar, which brings me to my next point. We never ever fight about money, because money is nothing but a peice of paper and not a means to revolve your life around.

 


Red Flags   for you from reading here on the board , and on  http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/


Leah

[THATONEGUY00]

let me reiterate, I am not saying I do all the household chores all the time, we both do our fair share, but about once a week I will do all of it, so things are easier and less stressful for her. Along with foot rub, back massage and running my fingers through her hair, she loves that !!!