To all the amazing and wonderful people on this board,
I have one answer about why people read and do not respond. It isn't the only answer--just my answer.
I have been reading and not responding since about June or July of 2005.
In March of that year, my best friend and roommate from college (we were called the happytwins) died.
She had been married to another friend, who was not a very good guy.
I had been (since October 7, 2003, when I happened to read Codependent No More) in recovery, trying to deal with my dysfunctional family.
After she died, and I feel it was due to her inspiration, I found information on the internet about NPD, and then I found this board.
I was able to see that her husband, and my father, were both pathological Ns, (and I think of my mom as an 'n', not able to be compared to their intense Nness, but still pretty n on her own account). Eventually this info and other support helped me practice no contact with my parents and my friend's husband. No contact has been incredibly healing for me and for my husband.
This board has helped me learn so much since then, and especially has validated my experience, feelings, etc.
Why have I never posted?
1) I tend to have an addictive personality, and thus don't have the internet at home. when we've had it at home, i have a hard time limiting my time, enjoying 3D life, being with my family (wonderful supportive husband and 2 boys, one 16, one 4), etc.
2) So I can only check the boards when I'm at the library with my laptop, and then I'll often download pages to read at my leisure at home.
3) voicelessness
4) fear
I can only say, God bless the internet, Dr. Grossman, and all of you.
I hope to tell my story sometime soon, but if I don't, it isn't because I don't trust you. This is the safest board I have ever seen.
Know that I am, thankfully, doing well, but always with so much more to learn, and so I come here and share in the good things.
Thanks for tolerating (and even hugging!) lurkers.
sincerely, happytwin
