Signing In Under Different Names

[gratitude28]

Hi All,
Part of my program when I started AA was to start to be HONEST with myself. It's a hard thing to do. First you have to realize that you ARE lying to yourself and hiding things. Then you have to notice WHEN you are doing that and put a stop to it. It has been hard. When I get confronted, I often want to flee... however, I am learning, as I make through each face-to-face more easily, that dealing with things head-on is a lot better than hiding. It is harder initially... but so much cleaner at the end. I need to push myself often to get past the fear, but feel so much better for doing it.
At any rate, the point is, you need to be honest, and honest, too, about your intentions. I catch myself being sneaky at times. Instead of being upfront, as I should be, I want to find a way to "catch a person out" rather than saying, "I don't like this and here is why."
I think a lot of just missed the education on dealing with situations in a straightforward manner, since we were brought up, in essence, by children. They acted like children trhough adulthood, so we had no model for appropriate behavior.

The reason I am bringin this up here is that I have noticed that there are people who sign in under false names or as guests unless they have something to say in their own names. I would suggest that if you are doing this, you are still not ready to be honest with yourself and this is SUCH an important step in recovery. It's not a game! It is YOUR life! And you ahve to decide if you want to be well and happy.

Of course I don't mean this as in when you are on a different computer and sign in and put down "Beth as Guest...."

A point to ponder.
Love, Beth

[oc]

I have done it once and felt stupid.  I changeg my name to protect my identity but I still am Kelly an overcomer or oc for short.

[gratitude28]

I've thought about doing it to Kell... just decided that to be true to myself I would have to deal even if I dodn't want to.
I know you wanted to change your name to retain privacy from your family. That is different.
I know last year I pretended not to know some information that someone wanted to gossip to me about. I should have just said, "Yes, I know and I don't want to get involved," rather than being false.
XO,
Beth

[Lupita]

Hi Grat, you are so much correct. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
Love
Lupita

[isittoolate]

I have done it once and felt stupid.  I changeg my name to protect my identity but I still am Kelly an overcomer or oc for short.

oh oc I didn't know you were Overcomer.

Izzy

[oc]

Yep. I post on my phone a lot and it is hard to type.  That is why there are Mistakes made all the time.  I use T9 And he you dont watch it the wrong word is posted or weird capitalizations.

[Overcomer]

See?  I think I figured  out how  to  sign in  on my phone!

[DreamSinger]

Hi Gratitude,

Part of the reason I rarely post here is because I am concerned about backlash if who I needed to talk about found out. I'm not an anonymous person on the web. Because of my music and human rights activism, I am very easy to find. Got a ton of websites, etc. Creativity is such a part of my healing journey, and I love to share my music when I feel it can say more than my words. Also, what I learn comes from my work in various causes, etc. Much of my work has to do with overcoming and healing. I've been asked to speak as a survivor, and I do. It's no secret! This brings me comfort and a sense of resolution within myself to take something negative and offer it to the positive. It's a big part of my own healing. So I like to log in as who I am and share what I have to share.

However, I, also, have my own personal journey that I sometimes need help with, when I feel like I want to scream my head off and just vent or need to describe what happened for feedback. It's then that I feel constrained. I can't speak the pain, I can't share the details as DreamSinger - the consequences could be pretty nasty if found out. And I've thought about signing in as a guest or someone else, but that just feels so weird. I haven't been able to do it. I'm not afraid of others finding out. I'm afraid only of the N finding out.  My fear goes beyond just pissing them off, but for my safety.

Right now, I can talk about N's generally, because I come from a long line of them, so what I say doesn't necessarily point to any one particular person. But it's gotten to the point where I have been more and more seriously thinking about deleting my account and starting over as someone else, so I can get the personal support I need for specific situations. Either way, a part of me will have to remain hidden. I don't know that I can post as two people, because the thought of that messes up my head.

But your post has really gotten me scared, because I want to know - how can you tell members are signing in as guests? Is it their IP info? Is that available to the general public or do you have administrative privileges? 

Please let me know. This is, also, good information for me, since I was stalked at a forum I run. I've been asking different people involved in internet safety if you can find out who people are through IP address or other means, not only to be aware of who's stalking you, but for those who need to cover their tracks on-line from abusive partners and such. Haven't gotten a definitive answer yet.

And I think it's good to know just how private privacy really is on this or any forum.  Thanks!

[Leah]

It's then that I feel constrained. I can't speak the pain, I can't share the details as DreamSinger - the consequences could be pretty nasty if found out. And I've thought about signing in as a guest or someone else, but that just feels so weird. I haven't been able to do it. I'm not afraid of others finding out. I'm afraid only of the N finding out.  My fear goes beyond just pissing them off, but for my safety.

Dear DreamSinger,

Yesterday, I tentively posted the beginnings of my personal life story, but fear, caused me to withdraw it shortly afterward, as my Nmother has stalked me previously on the internet and it was a hellish nightmare.

So my empathy and understanding reaches out to you.

Leah x

[Hopalong]

I think when anybody wants to remove posts because they're feeling overexposed or unsafe, they should be fine with doing it.

DreamSinger, I think your questions are good ones for Doc G. He'll explain and it'll help us all.

And I think getting personal support here is more important than being your public self in one more place. So why not come back as a newbie and do just that? I think it's a fine idea.

hugs,
Hops

[Lupita]

Wow!!!!  I wanted so much to get friends!!!! But I guess, I will never see them.

[Leah]

Whilst searching on internet for some info and found a site

http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/]http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/]http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/


An item on the site's "Links that might help you" section is ......

Read Notify ................ tells you the IP address and location of the person who sent you the email etc.



So I clicked on the link and found myself on http://www.readnotify.com/readnotify/about.asp

readnotify.com

There are two ways you can send tracked emails:

Simply add:   .readnotify.com    to the end of your recipients email address (they won't see this)

or
Install our ActiveTracker plugin to add the tracking for you.


What will you tell me about the tracked emails I send?

ReadNotify will endeavour to provide the following in your tracking reports:

Date and time opened
Location of recipient (per their ISP city /town)
Map of location (available on paid subscriptions)
Recipients IP address
Apparent email address of opening (if available)
Referrer details (ie; if accessed via web mail etc)
URL clicks
How long the email was read for
How many times your email was opened
If your email was forwarded, or opened on a different computer



This IP Address Map lookup service is provided for FREE by Geobytes, inc to assist you in locating the geographical location of an IP Address.

http://www.geobytes.com/IpLocator.htm?GetLocation



Not quite sure what to make of all this!!  

[Lupita]

I agree with you Bean. There are so many crazy people outside.

[gratitude28]

There are great points here. Obviously, my parents didn't name me gratitude

What I meant was, I don't post comments that I do not want to own that are not under the name Gratitude. For example, I don't write a post, then sign in under another name to track and see and comment on it. Does that make any sense?

I totally understand concerns and worry for safety. Especially in abusive realtionships. Those of you in that situation SHOULD be careful. But I think that is different from the idea I was bringing up.

I used to be afraid that things i posted might be seen... but in my case, I know that my mother would a) never think that she did any of this and 2) doesn't know how to use a search engine well even if she wanted to...

Do you see the idea I meant to bring up?

((((((everyone))))))))))

[gratitude28]

Dream,
You asked how I can tell... I simply can see patterns in writing and the types of comments made.
Love, Beth