Hello everyone,
Last night, I was invited to the home of an acquaintance (actually this is a case where I almost say friend rather than acquaintance) for dinner. I knew all but one of the four other people. One arrived after the meal to have wine and chit chat since they had been to a day long meeting a hundred or so miles away and had already eaten. The menu was roast lamb, some fussied up red potatoes with French herbs and wilted spinach, all served in a beautiful dining room on lovely china. By my guage, the stage was set for a fun evening with the special effects being the exquisite food served in beautiful surroundings.
Cast of characters:
Host: Successful decorator with an expansive client base in at least two states. A little reclusive in personal life. Prefers being the magnet that draws others. I wouldn't classify this person as magnanimous, however.
Person I'd never met: From what I gather, old south money (and let me tell you, there is a BIG difference in old south money and any other kind), classic education, used self-identifier "I have a math background" early on in conversation.
Most known to me of the four: Young, smart, sales, extrovert, high energy, narcissistic leanings of which she is aware, highly motivated to be all she can be physically (aerobics instructor for fun) mentally and spiritually.
Late arriver: Special Ed teacher. Gifted comic. Everything, even the most serious subjects are given a comical twist. Sucks up all the oxygen upon arrival. Won't shut up and got drunk.
Me: Introverted, overly intense and serious, dry humor occasionally, don't do much socially, but definitely not a social phobe. Very protective of those who can't protect themselves. That may translate to identifying with the underdog. Judicious with my twenty four hours a day.
I don't like leaving a social occasion feeling like my brain hurts the way my feet would if I wore four inch, pointy toed shoes walking on broken pavement for three hours (which I dont). And that's how I feel most of the time when I leave strictly social occasions. In a way, I think the evening would have made for good theatre, here today and gone tomorrow. Maybe the part that doesn't fit me is that I feel I must contribute something of substance to the mix, when in reality I would have more fun sitting back and viewing it as theatre where one of the actors might dip into the audience and use me as a prop in his act. I didn't think I had my panties in a wad over this, but it must have been pretty heavy on my mind for I woke up in the wee hours telling myself, You know teartracks, you only have to do two things right in this life. Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Hence, my subject line, How does one go about finding the right social fit?
teartracks
