healing

[Anonymous]

And yeah, I think I'd get a lot out of it, too (give me a good excuse to do all the kid stuff I'm technically too old to do hahahaha ).

Hey, maybe you could big sister a wee little tiny up-and coming cheerleader. Hey, hahahahahaha, maybe you could big sister her whole frickin' team. Wwhhoooaaaa!!!!      Now wouldn't that be wild.

Higapigasaurausus

Okay, let's give her a life. How about a little flower on top of her head, and a hawain (spell check please) skirt.
Or a business suit and briefcase and rolex. 'Cause she's one empowered little higapigasaurausus.
No, well then how about leathers and a motorbike.
Still no, okay, one more try, then what about a nose and brow and tail ring. hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah.
Remember, there's only one of her. She's unique and she knows it.

((((HIGS))))

CG

[Wildflower]

Hey, maybe you could big sister a wee little tiny up-and coming cheerleader. Hey, hahahahahaha, maybe you could big sister her whole frickin' team. Wwhhoooaaaa!!!!   Now wouldn't that be wild.

Don't go thinkin I haven't already been thinkin about that thought...

BWAHAHahahaha.....  
( who said that?)

Okay, let's give her a life.

That's a darn good idea.  She could be our healing mascot.  Though that would kinda be using her wouldn't it?  Hmmm.  Our healing role model?

How about a little flower on top of her head, and a hawain (spell check please) skirt.

You know who this reminds me of??  Have you ever heard of George and Martha?  The two friendly hippos?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0395851580/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-0314915-5473560#reader-page

(((HIGS)))
Wildflower

[Anonymous]

I love George and Martha. Even George's yellow front tooth.

[Wildflower]

Me, too.  They're such cool stories.

Are you okay, CG?

((((CG))))
WF

[Anonymous]

Hi Wildflower,

Yeah, I'm fine, really. I'm still trying to get these books done, and my focus button isn't behaving. I'm blaming your compliments thread. hahahahahahahh. No. Just kidding.  

But I know I'm more a giver, but not a good accepter in that department. I think it's to do with the feeling of being set up that I auto-react to. And I've been mulling      where that comes from?????

Childhood issues of course. Yes I've adjustd and trained myslf to just say thankyou. But that's because I've learned it draws attention to a deficiency in me if I do otherwise.

I have a very clear picture of cgilhood issues re mother on this topic.

Here's a small simple example.

Mother wants me to make her a cup of tea. She was a terribly the lazy bitch. Instead of saying, "Would you mind making me a cup of tea?" Giving me a choice, it would go more like this, "You're such a good girl, go and make me a cup tea, would you. Show mummy you love her, and that you're a such good daughter." or "You know what a good daughter would do, make their mummy a cup of tea. You want me to think you're a good daughter don't you?"

If I dared say "no" or "wait", she'd fly into some ungodly rage and tell me what a selfish little bitch I was, and then I'd hear afinancial report on how much I cost in food and shelter, and now, how could I be so cruel, I'd even caused her to get a headache, and she'd have to stay in bed all day.

If I still refused (not likely to happen very often) , but say I was running late, on my way out the door to school, she'd be screaming from the bedroom, "Don't bother coming home if a cup of tea isn't in here by the count of 10."

Pathetic isn't it.

Anyway, I'm not getting hung up on it too much. But then there's the other side. "How do I look today, tell me how nice I look? What's wrong with you, why won't you tell me? Are you jealous? You're jealous aren't you. You can't stand having an attractive mother. Why you little cow. blaaah blaah blaah."  Compliments and the need she had for them caused so much conflict, that I have a negative reaction to compliments. Quite understandable really.

My auto-thought goes, "Why, are you complimenting me? What do you want 'REALLY' want from me?" It seems to spring into view pretty quickly.

Kids are pretty honest. They rarely compliment. What does this say?

Okay that's enough from me, and I'm not even in the right thread I guess. I'm roaming and raving, but I thought about it a lot, in light of the Imposter Syndrome thing. I still haven't reconciled that part of me. But I've read a lot recently about talented and gifted children, the transcending child etc. And I've been trying to get it all sorted out in my head, particulary in the way I compliment and relate re this with my kids.

It's a very important aspect of healthy development. Genuine and consistant praise. Otherwise they can begin to feel phoney, which is tragic. It can stay, as a monkey on their backs their whole lives. And make them resentful, and even blind to the necessary constructive criticisms that will invariably appear throughout life.

I've been practising new techniques with a little success. I'm reading and learning hahahahahahahah when I'm supposed to be working on these damn books. Have you done anet search or read on the "Transcending Child"? It's me. I escaped the poverty cycle and in some ways, and by my childhood family's standards I've become quite successful.

All these problems from mother drove me, and I was determined not to be financially or emotioanlly dependant on anybody, ever again, I think????? The emotional one took longer, but I'm feeling pretty good in that department nowadays.        I almost can't believe I can say that, and know it's true.        

(((((HIGS))))) from a very happy higapigasaurauras

CG

[Wildflower]

Hi CG,

Hope you've got the coffee, the comfy spot, and the time 'cos this is a long one.  (Take your time, though.  I’m getting behind in work and home stuff, too.      Gotta start showing a little more restraint here, too.  This board is just too good sometimes - so hard to be disciplined    .)

It's a very important aspect of healthy development. Genuine and consistant praise. Otherwise they can begin to feel phoney, which is tragic. It can stay, as a monkey on their backs their whole lives. And make them resentful, and even blind to the necessary constructive criticisms that will invariably appear throughout life.

I've been practising new techniques with a little success. I'm reading and learning hahahahahahahah when I'm supposed to be working on these damn books.

Lately, I keep coming back to this one thought when it comes to parenting – especially when I think about you and the other mothers on the board.  How much did we want our parents to finally understand, to finally love us unconditionally, to finally apologize?  I mean, here we are as adults, some of us still wishing things could be better.  Wishing we were wrong about our parents.  I can imagine that you may not feel that way about your mother because she was so extreme.  I dunno.  But I hear how much you want to give to your children, and I hear you wanting to adjust and learn new parenting skills, and that makes me think your kids really are in loving, safe hands.

Children, and adults, are resilient.  I feel that my life has been restored recently - that I really have found myself again.  That just sounds like such a cheesy cliché, but it’s how I feel.  I’m still a little messed up in some ways, but who isn’t?  

But what I’m thinking now is that I’ve always been here, I was just hiding under layers and layers of protection.  I’ve had to remove those layers myself, but how cool and wonderful would it have been to have my own parents ‘figure it out’ along the way and remove those layers for me while I was still dependent on them.  What if they had worked to earn my trust again?  Worked to build up my own faith in myself?  Not in who they wanted me to be, but who I already was?  What if they had decided to put their efforts into loving me – all of me – unconditionally?  I would have healed, that's what.  And think how much faster I could have healed if it had been my parents instead of therapists and books and patient but confused friends.

I guess what I’m thinking is that this damage doesn’t have to be permanent.  

My therapist said things are easier/simpler for me now because I’m not protecting myself.  In a way, I’m protecting myself by taking care of myself and getting out of bad situations.  But I think what she was saying is that I’m no longer protecting my SELF by twisting into some sort of creature designed to survive a bad environment.  
 
I’ve thought a bunch about consistency, too.  I’ve tended to think that consistency is the basis of stability, and therefore safety.  I guess if you’re consistently abusive, though, that’s still – abusive.  Still, it's important to know that you can count on your parents to not go around putting reality in the blender every five minutes.

Mother wants me to make her a cup of tea. She was a terribly the lazy bitch. Instead of saying, "Would you mind making me a cup of tea?" Giving me a choice, it would go more like this, "You're such a good girl, go and make me a cup tea, would you. Show mummy you love her, and that you're a such good daughter." or "You know what a good daughter would do, make their mummy a cup of tea. You want me to think you're a good daughter don't you?"

If I dared say "no" or "wait", she'd fly into some ungodly rage and tell me what a selfish little bitch I was, and then I'd hear afinancial report on how much I cost in food and shelter, and now, how could I be so cruel, I'd even caused her to get a headache, and she'd have to stay in bed all day.

I know you said you weren’t hung up on this, but I read this and got stuck on the “giving me a choice” part.  My mother used to ask me questions that made me think she was giving me a choice, but she never was.  It was always just a power game.

Mom: “I don’t feel like going out to get food tonight.  Want to get a pizza?  If you order, I’ll pay.”
Me: “Sure.  What’s the number?”  [If no, see "scrounge" option below]
Mom: “It’s in the phone book.”
Me: “Where’s the phone book?”
Mom: “Oh, it’s around.  I’ll look for it in a minute."

At which point she’d just sit on the couch watching TV indefinitely.  If I asked her about the phone book again, she’d accuse me of nagging and she’d lose interest in the pizza, and I’d have to “scrounge up something to eat.”  So inevitably, I’d have to go on a phone book hunt, careful not to trip any of her “you’re interfering with my space” wires. It sounds like your mom was playing power games with you, too - on top of mixing in the compliments BS.

But then there's the other side. "How do I look today, tell me how nice I look? What's wrong with you, why won't you tell me? Are you jealous? You're jealous aren't you. You can't stand having an attractive mother. Why you little cow. blaaah blaah blaah." Compliments and the need she had for them caused so much conflict, that I have a negative reaction to compliments. Quite understandable really.

I wondered about this the first time you mentioned that your mom was always fishing for compliments about her appearance.  There’s just so much in there in terms of messed up messages.  She needed your endless approval.  She told you that you were jealous and thought all these bad things about your mom.  

Geez.  Again.  I really think that by telling your child they hate you/don’t love you (blah blah blah), you’re really just protecting yourself from hearing it straight from them on the one hand, and on the other, you’re stuffing a big sock in their mouths when it comes to getting at their REAL feelings.  The kid is forced to think, no, I don’t hate you because I’m a good kid.  Or, I hate you and that makes me bad but I’d rather be bad than love you.  Instead of, I hate you because you treat me really badly and I know it deep down inside.

Whew.  Where’d that come from?  

Have you done anet search or read on the "Transcending Child"? It's me. I escaped the poverty cycle and in some ways, and by my childhood family's standards I've become quite successful.

I did a search but I didn’t come up with much.  Is there an author who talks about this?  I’ve just started reading Jung this week, by the way.    And what are these books you’re reading about parenting?  Anything you’d recommend?

Good luck with your book work miss higapigasaurauras.    So glad to hear you’re happy and feeling good .

(((HIGS)))
Wildflower

[Anonymous]

Hi Wildflower,

I just did a net check to make sure it works. hahahah

Search for a Lillian Rubin

You'll find articles  on "The Man With The Beautiful Voice." That's her.

She's written a few books. But her most recent one being "The Transcendant Child."

www.salon.com/weekly/shrink also has articles on her which are an interesting read. One is titled "The Transcendant Shrink." It's well worth a read too.

(((HIGS))) and I'll be back later. I wanted to say something re- your post sparked a thought.

CG

[Anonymous]

PS
Right, I just tried it and it looks like the page has been moved. Click on that option that'll take you to the salon, then in the search box, plug in Lillian Rubin. You'll see all the articles by/about her.

Fingers crossed that it works for you.

CG

[Anonymous]

Hi Wildflower,

I'm following your lead and getting out more. All this discussion and feedback. Takin' it for a test drive, so to speak, with some interesting results.

My therapist said things are easier/simpler for me now because I’m not protecting myself.  In a way, I’m protecting myself by taking care of myself and getting out of bad situations.  But I think what she was saying is that I’m no longer protecting my SELF by twisting into some sort of creature designed to survive a bad environment.  
 

Long story about an unpleasant conversation I had yesterday with a friend. I came home and stewed, vented even to my husband and then to a mutual friend. This actaully is new for me cause I've had this 'thing' my whole life about NOT talkin' about people behind their back's. I could never do it. And if I did I would be so guilty I would go and tell them and apologise. It's been a real biggee for me to get over. It made me a very reliable friend, people know I don't gossip generally, I just say nothing or absent myself. Sometimes it's not healthy, well it wasn't in me anyway, it was too strong a principle rooted in fear and ignorance. They're always scarey and dangerous, those types of principles. And a legacy of guess who? Remember the orphanage story, cause I talked about her once to someone blaah blaaah.

So I don't do it, talk about people to others at all usually, which I've recently learned, has often been to my own detriment at times. Sometimes we have to. Especially if someone has hurt us, and we don't know why. This friend hurt me, in front of 2 other friends. I couldn't work out if she realised she had, had done it on purpose, or why? I fumed some more. Was getting nowhere. Then in bed I tossed and turned it over and around and upside down and came to some really spoooooky different conclusions than I first had. I tested some theories, by speaking about it with one of our mutual friend's who was there, and freedom came. No more torment or pain or second-guessing myself. And I got out of a bad situation by dealing with it, clumsily no doubt, but straight away. That was the key. I did it pretty much straight away. I got someone elses garbage dumped on me, and it took me only about 24 hous to get rid of it all. That may seem slow for some, but for me it was an excellent result.

Still, it's important to know that you can count on your parents to not go around putting reality in the blender every five minutes.

I like this comment. I'm gonna keep it, guess where?? Come on, you know you know??? On the FRIDGE!!!!

I know you said you weren’t hung up on this, but I read this and got stuck on the “giving me a choice” part.  My mother used to ask me questions that made me think she was giving me a choice, but she never was.  It was always just a power game.

Mom: “I don’t feel like going out to get food tonight.  Want to get a pizza?  If you order, I’ll pay.”
Me: “Sure.  What’s the number?”  [If no, see "scrounge" option below]
Mom: “It’s in the phone book.”
Me: “Where’s the phone book?”
Mom: “Oh, it’s around.  I’ll look for it in a minute."

At which point she’d just sit on the couch watching TV indefinitely.  If I asked her about the phone book again, she’d accuse me of nagging and she’d lose interest in the pizza, and I’d have to “scrounge up something to eat.”  So inevitably, I’d have to go on a phone book hunt, careful not to trip any of her “you’re interfering with my space” wires.

This sounds so, so, so ,so, so, I don't know???????        
I do, I get the picture so clearly, but my words aren't there yet. I know though, eactly what she was doing. It's like a commitment-phobic almost      but almost, but I know the type. And it is a type. It'll come to me. I just need a bit more time, and it's annoying the crap outta me cause I've had friends just like this with their kids.        

Geez.  Again.  I really think that by telling your child they hate you/don’t love you (blah blah blah), you’re really just protecting yourself from hearing it straight from them on the one hand, and on the other, you’re stuffing a big sock in their mouths when it comes to getting at their REAL feelings.  The kid is forced to think, no, I don’t hate you because I’m a good kid.  Or, I hate you and that makes me bad but I’d rather be bad than love you.  Instead of, I hate you because you treat me really badly and I know it deep down inside.

Thinking back now, I don't think I consciously 'THOUGHT" things like love or hate words in my head about her. Maybe momentarily, occassionally. But I tend to think now that I wouldn't have been game. I remember she had me convinced she had eye's in the back of her head, she could see around corners, and that she could read minds. I felt a whole lot of fear if I thought negative things about her.

 And I 'THINK' all those words which I was never game to think, just connected to my 'feelings' side. So I was very emotional and feeling and happy and smiling and funny, which meant also that I didn't draw attention to her foul parenting and I was safer behind this facade. I was safe, when she couldn't read my hatred, resentment, contempt and disgest at/with her.  I really think my 'voice' didn't even make it to the thinking stage of my brain as a child. I don't know if I was ever game to think about her, and besides I was completely tuned in to survival.

I'll come back to you on the image of your mother if you don't mind. I'm gonna give it some more thought. I've found speaking to you here very helpful. I realised a few new things as I was writing. Thankyou.

from a genuinely happy higapigasauraurus

(((HIGS)))
CG

[Wildflower]

Hi miss genuinely happy higapigasauraurus

Have you ever heard of Nick Drake, a musician from the 60's?  I just saw a documentary of his life last night.  Very interesting stuff about depression and therapy in the UK.

I'm on my way out to dance class, but I'll be back to talk more about Nick and your post...

(((HIGS))) from a pondering wildflower,
Wildflower

[Wildflower]

Hi CG,

Once again, I admire your stance on not talking about friends behind their backs.  I think that's a good quality - another one I've been working on over the years.  I know what you mean, though, when it goes to far.  Becomes a voice stifler, doesn't it?  If you can't talk about how people are hurting you because it means talking about someone else, how can you get to the bottom of what's really going on?  Of how you feel?

So that's great that you were able to talk to the mutual friend.  I know that musta been hard (yes, I immediately saw the orphanage connection), but I'm glad you could do it and that you immediately felt better.  Ahhhhh.  Validation.  Sanity restored.

For the record, it's okay to talk about friends here.  I'll never tell .  How could I?  I don't know your friends.  Besides...it's about thinking stuff out, right?  Sounding it out?  

It's so great that you were able to figure all that out so quickly, too.  A day is fast, in my book.  Gonna have to try to catch up to you!  I've still got a week/two-week time lag going before I figure out what happened.

I do, I get the picture so clearly, but my words aren't there yet. I know though, eactly what she was doing. It's like a commitment-phobic almost

I think it's called passive-aggressive behavior.  My mom was passive as hell when she wanted to be - but she still managed to keep all the control.  Maddening.  Made me out to be the bad guy 100% of the time.  Actually, I recently read that children of abuse or people in general who grow up unable to express themselves often find release in these passive-aggressive ways.  They can't express their feelings openly, so that lash out in these subtle but destructive ways.  That's my mom, I think.  And it was me for a while, too.  But the cycle ends here.

Thinking back now, I don't think I consciously 'THOUGHT" things like love or hate words in my head about her. Maybe momentarily, occassionally. But I tend to think now that I wouldn't have been game. I remember she had me convinced she had eye's in the back of her head, she could see around corners, and that she could read minds. I felt a whole lot of fear if I thought negative things about her.

And I 'THINK' all those words which I was never game to think, just connected to my 'feelings' side. So I was very emotional and feeling and happy and smiling and funny, which meant also that I didn't draw attention to her foul parenting and I was safer behind this facade. I was safe, when she couldn't read my hatred, resentment, contempt and disgest at/with her. I really think my 'voice' didn't even make it to the thinking stage of my brain as a child. I don't know if I was ever game to think about her, and besides I was completely tuned in to survival.

This is so sad, CG.     I'm sad for that little girl who wasn't allowed to even think.  Who wasn't allowed to feel anything but bubbly feelings.  If it makes you feel any better, I know what you mean.  When my good dad left, I could still think, but ten years later, my brain was mush.  No solid thoughts to be found, really - except in academics.  Math.  Mom was terrible in math, so I was allowed to go far in that subject.  Still...it can be pretty abstract stuff.  Not a lot of being down-to-earth involved.

But look at us now...talking to husbands and co-workers.  Putting our thoughts down into words.  How are you feeling in all this?  How's your boy doing?  What happened with that friend?  Did you say anything to her?

Anyway...hope you're doin well floatin' around in your nice, safe higapigasauraurus  pond.

(((HIGS)))
Wildflower

[Anonymous]

Hi Wildflower,

, I admire your stance on not talking about friends behind their backs.  I think that's a good quality - another one I've been working on over the years.  

Yes, and I think it is probably interpreted by my friends as some mature, noble, or even considerate act. But it was coming from my own fears and denial. It  was/is a way of protecting myself from any self-conceived paranoid reactions of an unpleasant fall-out that maybe I wouldn't be able to control. So in the end it becomes a control issue I have, doesn't it????
Very interesting.      And not very mature, is it?? hahahahha  

Add to that, it's a case of even a fool can appear or seem intelligent if he keeps his mouth shut. So often fear of not being in control retards my advancement and growth. If I only ever do things I know we can control the outcome of, I'll end up living in a very little world, I think. And I'll end up dreaming a lot, but never achieving anything I want to.

"Thankyou folks. That sermon was bought to you today from 'The Church Of The Latitudinarians.' Tune in tomorrow to hear more on the topic of 'When you try to control others, the only person you really end up controlling is you."
hahahahahahahahahaaaaahahahahahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaheeeeee

I know what you mean, though, when it goes to far.  Becomes a voice stifler, doesn't it?  If you can't talk about how people are hurting you because it means talking about someone else, how can you get to the bottom of what's really going on?  Of how you feel?

Precisely!!  

So that's great that you were able to talk to the mutual friend.  I know that musta been hard

Yeah, it was, I was shaking and stammering, and red-faced in a way that almost I couldn't even believe!!    

A funny contradiction here. I talked about it later with my husband and opened myself up for his observations. I asked him to be frank with me, (OOOHH, Frank,    who's Frank hahahahah) and so we discussed how I'm not insecure at all addressing such issues in the workplace. I am quite bold and confident in the workplace.    I guess that's because there are defined parameters and a certain amount of protection and whole bunch of rules that both sides have to abide by. So, I find I have no fear in that context, and over the years have had to deal with some pretty heavy issues. A for instance, a sexual harrassment issue a few years ago which led to the guy getting the sack. Anonymous threats were fed back to me, and strangely enough, they didn't frighten or silence me or keep from speaking up or make me stay at home.

My fear and anxiety only seems to apply in personal situations.  

And you can see I don't seem to be suffering any particular anxiety here on this forum either. hahahahahaahahahah     Take my last couple of posts to 'others'. hahahahahahahahahah. Just speakin' my mind quite comfortably, expressin' ma' suspicions. Nobody else has to agree with me so it really doesn't worry me what responses come back. I'ts taken on a kinda ???? context in my brain, this place.      

I just mainly keep comin' back to talk to you,        and Portia of course. Is that selfish of me??????? Gee, totallllly coooool, I'm learning to be selfish.         hahahahahaha  

(For the record, it's okay to talk about friends here.  I'll never tell .  

hahahahahahahahaahahah. Thanks    

Besides...it's about thinking stuff out, right?  Sounding it out?  

It really is, other people can bring out things I could never have thought of. My friend didn't poo-poo me at all. Actually, she affirmed me, and mentioned a couple of other times she'd noticed our mutual friend say very hurtful things that she thought I hadn't noticed at the time. I had though.     I'd just never said anything.
 

It's so great that you were able to figure all that out so quickly, too.  A day is fast, in my book.  Gonna have to try to catch up to you!  I've still got a week/two-week time lag going before I figure out what happened.

I'm sure I'll still have slow starts in the future too. hahahahah This is new to me.

I do, I get the picture so clearly, but my words aren't there yet. I know though, eactly what she was doing. It's like a commitment-phobic almost

I think it's called passive-aggressive behavior.  My mom was passive as hell when she wanted to be - but she still managed to keep all the control.  Maddening.  Made me out to be the bad guy 100% of the time.  Actually, I recently read that children of abuse or people in general who grow up unable to express themselves often find release in these passive-aggressive ways.  They can't express their feelings openly, so that lash out in these subtle but destructive ways.  That's my mom, I think.  And it was me for a while, too.  But the cycle ends here.

Yeah, good on you.    That's called 'taking responsibility' or 'rejecting the denial & blame mentality'. I love it. It's so so so so so, ooooooh, liberating. You know, your mum reminds me so much of a distracted person. Someone with a whole house full of half finished projects and hobbies. Someone lacking focus. Yes, I agree with the passive-aggressive, definitely. They are a strange creature, aren't they? They seem so, so, so, so, what
s the word???? They seem so lazy. It's really confusing. I was married to one of those for a while. It was bloody awful. So draining and dare I say, EMBARRASSING.    He had such a failure mentality. WHoooa. Now, do you know what effect that had. It  was expensive, exhausting, draining and infuriating. Frustrating, is just way too much of an understatement. And the put-downs he could create which would have me believing I was the problem were so well crafted. it's taken me years to dispel some of those myths. Yet, and I hesitiate to say this, because it's seems so contradictory, he is a really nice guy. But, the energy he would invest in his pet-projects and hobbies. And what a "Don't Touch" mentality. When I think back, I laugh. How can you live in the same house and not touch the record-player, or the records. Maddening!!!!     I'd want to clear the table to set it for dinner, and couldn't cause his last 'hobby would be spread out all over it. I wasn't game to touch anything.

thinking stage of my brain as a child. I don't know if I was ever game to think about her, and besides I was completely tuned in to survival.

When my good dad left, I could still think, but ten years later, my brain was mush.  No solid thoughts to be found, really - except in academics.  Math.  Mom was terrible in math, so I was allowed to go far in that subject.  Still...it can be pretty abstract stuff.  Not a lot of being down-to-earth involved.

But look at us now...talking to husbands and co-workers.  Putting our thoughts down into words.  How are you feeling in all this?  How's your boy doing?  What happened with that friend?  Did you say anything to her?

Can you tell me what you meant when you said "Not a lot of being down-to-earth involved." Is this related to the protective layers or ambitions or something else?

My son (the one who was electrocuted you mean) is really really well. He just got his driver's license and bought a new car. Scarey stuff. Now he's got big re-paymnets hanging over his head each month. I don't agree with going into debt for depreciating assets, but oh well, what can I say. I remember how I was at his age. He wouldn't listen to his old mummy and buy a bomb first time round.       No, a top of the line bright red ute with black interior.  
I really don't care, so long as he drives carefully. ("Please drive carefully son" prayer going up and out now. That's what I really worry about. But I've found he's pretty responsible for his age, and usually listens to me. He's surprised me many times with sensitive, listening responses to my comments. So hopefully he's listened to me about not speeding

Anyway...hope you're doin well floatin' around in your nice, safe higapigasauraurus  pond.

Yeees   Thankyou.

Hey, you said you were off to dance classes. How fantastic     . I lack feet-beat. It's so bad. I love to dance, but I'm shocking and dreadfully uncoordinated. It's a comedy to watch I find I'm the same with aerobics to music. They have to put me at the back of the class, 'cause I throw everybody else off. I'm always about 3 beats behind everyone else. very confusing for the class. I've even managed to throw the instructor off acouple of times. She's avoided looking at me since then
since then. hahahahahahaahah

Take care outta der' amonk dem' english

((((3 BIG HIGS from a happy HIGAPIGASAUAURUS))))

[Anonymous]

Hi Wildflower, me again, 2 posts in one day. Whoooah, haven't done that in a while on this thread. I've been behaving myself and staying out of people's hair. But can I say to you I was reading a thread today, and truly, the skin crawled on the back of my neck and I got goose-bumps. It freaked me out. Must be my paranoia. hahahahahah I won't say which one cause and I certainly wouldn't want to upset any princesses, but oh my gosh!!! It was freeeaakky. Personally, I don't think they're just out there  . Scarey.

But anyway, that's gossip an it's not why I posted. I posted to try to give you a good web-site. This is one that Rosencrantz posted here ages ago about passsive-agressives. Fingers crossed and here goes.
http://www.passiveaggressive.homestead.com/PATraits.html
Now I'll post this to you and try it to see if I got it right this time. hahahahahah, Not bloody likely, first time.

Just call me the 'Failed Web Page' poster.

CG

[Anonymous]

PPS
Post, take 3.

and yes, Bingo, the web-page worked.   Hip Hip Hooray.

(((((HIGS and double HIGS))))

Funny, I just knew I knew your mother. I think we were even married once, for a short time.  

That must make me your ex-step-mother. hahahahahahahahahah.

CG

[Portia]

Hiya CG and Wildflower. Love the image of floating in the pond. If it’s muddy and dirty, so much the better. Maybe I could come and wallow in it (no funny business though, well, alright, if you insist)? Thanks for your reply on the funny thread CG….I’m wondering how to tell you that I’m the testosterone-fuelled one in our house! Too much yin I’ve been told. So, oh yes, I got an email today (sent on 2 may but only just arrived with me in hotmail???) from a friend who’s been gone a while and I quote: “If you can, would you leave a message for CG sometime - ask her to check her alterego's private message box sometime.  I'd appreciate that.” Now I’m not asking any questions or making any points or anything…..I’m just passing on something I got in email okay! (emoticon: hands palms upwards, beseeching, don’t shoot the messenger). And to the one who sent me the email….thank you….I passed the message on, good luck and you sound good! Excellent! I’m going now to go and try and buy myself some clothes – ha ha ha ha! Fanciful ideas of floaty summer dresses…will no doubt return with baggy size 20 cargo pants. V-e-r-y s-e-x-y.(not) P