Thank you so much for your wishes and your prayers. I really need them. I spent one week in New York City for purposes of professional development. My son came with me and satyed at the hotel. While I was at my conferences he was having fun in the city. I had a very intersting tireing week. After I recover from surgery on Monday 11 of June, I will tell you my rpofeesional adventure. You might not belive it. But it is true. My mother went back home, she did not want to come to New York. Now that I have a date she wants to come back.
Before she came, I was happy taking my belly dancing classes, salsa dancing classes, gym classes, literature club, positive thinling club, meditation books. I was living for my pleasure. She came to rememeber me who I am. I was in prison again. I came to New York to take this course that put me in prison also, and now I am going to have surgery in prison. She wants to come back and wants that my son goes to the airport to pick her up during the time of my surgery, and I really want my son there with me, not in the airport waiting for my mom to have an oscar for her performance. I know that I have to be more compasionate of my mother because my son is compasionate of me. It is hard. She always thinks that I planned something bad for her. That I organize things to be bad for her. She looks at me in an ugly way and then she looks at somebody else, anybody else with a smile.
I get very depressed when a professor at my conference look at me in a way similar to my mother, I have constant fear that somebody would get mad at me for any reason. I feel like a piece of trash.
