Regarding what Deb wrote...yes, as I said, they always "tell on themselves" if you listen real closely. The reason you might not notice it, is because it's so untactful and strange that you tend to want to brush it off as "nahhhhhhh, that wasn't what I just heard. He didn't just agree with the person who said I was a nuisance, and admit it to MY FACE and tell me that if he had his way, I would have died with the Nazi's because of that terrible dinner I fed him last night, rather than defending me to that critical person. He surely did NOT say and would NOT be so cold as to do that."
But guess what...YES HE DID DO JUST THAT! He DID JUST SAY THAT TOO! YOU DO NOT HAVE EAR BLOCKAGE OR A MENTAL ISSUE...HE REALLY DID JUST WISH YOU DEAD AND OUT OF HIS LIFE, AGREEING THAT YOU WERE A NUISANCE< TO YOUR FACE!
Here are some other examples:
Narcissist: "I'm a wonderful friend, IF YOU DON'T CROSS ME (laughs wryly)...ain't ya glad you're on MY side?"
>>>Generally you find out later, when they have decided that you are "on the other side, have crossed them, don't measure up, dared to blow the whistle" what this actually MEANT...you experience the WRATH OF N firsthand, as their new ENEMY.<<<
Narcissist: "I tend to be intolerant. I can't STAND ignorance in people. I had a sister once who was so ignorant...I just have no time for that."
>>>Later, this will be used ON YOU. They will have decided that you have proven yourself to be IGNORANT, and thus unworthy of their "love." Then, they will SHOW YOU how they treat ignorant people, and might even tell you "see? I told you I can't stand ignorance in people!" (while they are ignoring and abusing you)<<<<
Narcissist: "Oh, they wouldn't DARE not give me a refund. This happens all the time, but I've NEVER had one waitress refuse to give my money back. They KNOW BETTER!"
>>>This is always a "fun" one later. You get to watch firsthand as a waitress one day decides that the food was just fine and NO, I am not refunding N's money. You will relive your childhood temper tantrum memories, as you see a grown N-adult, practically throw a major hissy fit, complete with phony tears, yelling, eye-glares, threats, bargains, etc.<<<
Narcissist: "I once destroyed a lady's poodle. Well, I warned her that she needed to keep her mangy mutt out of my way!"
>>KEEP YOUR ANIMALS AWAY FROM THEM. I have had an N LAUGH while I was crying, as a baby kitten died in my hand (my husband had accidentally crushed it's ribs by stepping on the poor thing) N comments: "oh your cat had more kittens...she had what...6? you have other ones...don't worry about it; it's only one cat."<<<<
Narcissist: "People need to keep their brats under control and out from under my feet! ooooooh I HATE that!"
>>>DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THEM and, if you have some already, be prepared to STEP IN when N decides YOUR "brats" are under his/her feet!
Just a few tidbits from one who has Been there, done that, had N STEAL THE T-SHIRT and my HEART AND SOUL ALONG WITH IT!
~Laura
