an accident

[lighter]

"Some messes are actually quite health-full...  kinda like my method of cleaning a closet... gotta drag everything out first, scatter it all around the room to see what's there, before beginning to sort."


::Picturing Izzy rolling around on the floor, wrestling her sibs::

Hey, Izzy!  You're on top and you're winning!

[Certain Hope]

"Some messes are actually quite health-full...  kinda like my method of cleaning a closet... gotta drag everything out first, scatter it all around the room to see what's there, before beginning to sort."


::Picturing Izzy rolling around on the floor, wrestling her sibs::

Hey, Izzy!  You're on top and you're winning!

LOL !! Okay, now, that wasn't exactly what I was picturing     lol       I kinda like it, tho!! 

Lighter, you're a character ((((((()))))))

(((((((Izzy)))))))

My eyes are too tired to make much more sense... that's my story and I'm stickin to it!

Love,
Hope

[lighter]

Yes yes yes, Izz.

I think you have it just right.  

Explaining that you're in therapy and a little bit about why.

Saying you have some questions, without blaming them... then asking and listening without interrupting or making big impatient sigh-ey noises while they answer.

I'm not surprised that they had negative feelings about the hospital and your injuries.

What is surprising is that they didn't all reach out to their sister.  

Because it's the right thing to do and they felt some responsibility towards you as a human being they cared for.

I think you deserve an answer to that question.  

(((Izzy)))

[ripleytje]

Dear IsItTooLate,

So, I think, it was that you and your daughter still have a lot of things to do together, in a very positive sense!! The idea of your daughter brought you back. That is something very beautiful, isn't it? It has been a horror to you, but just think about it that your love to yoru daughter brought your back. Hope you don't mind me being so direct? I just recognize the feeling you described, although in a very different situation, as a consequence of too much anesthesia during a routine operation as a child.

Lots of strength!


Husg,
Ripleytje

[Hopalong]

Hey Izz,
I remember from your brother and SIL's email that they sound like kind, decent adults now.

Whoever they were back at that time, they're probably very sorry about. Good for you for gently giving them the chance to tell you...they were ignorant and afraid, probably.

It may bring you closer if you tell them you need to revisit that time briefly...and see if they can "meet you there." I think maybe the most important thing is to keep it simple:

I was so alone, and afraid.
I couldln't understand why you didn't come to visit me.
Can you explain what you were thinking then?

Maybe something like that.

And then get into the present with them, Izzy hon. Please don't forget to be in the present. Hopefully y'all will drink some good wine, play some good games, and be together in the present, too.

hugs
Hops

[isittoolate]

Thank you Hops,

I was hoping that the reponses would be as yours, as that is what I think too.

There are SO many people who tell a person to "Stop Living In The Past"!!------------or-----------------------

-------------maybe it's just my family because they don't want me asking questions like this  ha ha!

I will also tell my therapist. It came to me today that I ought to ask. If not now, I never will, and it will come to mind again.

Love Izzy