Hey Hops,
Do you know how many times they called and told me my mom was not going to make it. We would make phone calls and everyone would rush to the hospital. We would be in hysterics and say our final goodbyes. She would make it through the night and the next day when you were looking at her and how tiny she looked her eyes would *flash open* almost giving us a heart attack and she would be just fine after that. After awhile wen we would get the call we would say yeah, yeah we'll be there.
You know who was accurate and told me when she was going to die. SHE DID!!
I had been recommend to buy the book Final Gifts and it is the best thing I had ever done.
Over the years, these nurses have identified a state they termed, "Nearing Death Awareness." Nearing Death Awareness is a state specific to individuals who are dying slowly such as cancer victims, AIDS patients, and others suffering long terminal illnesses. Nearing Death Awareness is not the same as a near death experience, although they do have some commonalities. A near death experience occurs when a person is actually dead -- they have no pulse, respiration, or breathing -- but are brought back to via medical intervention. The stories of people who have had near death experiences are remarkably similar. They describe a beautiful light, people who've passed before are often there, and they have a sense of leaving their body.
People who have Nearing Death Awareness may also see (and even talk to) people who have passed before, they may see a beautiful place (or bright light), and they may feel a profound sense of peace. Unlike people who have near death experiences, people with Nearing Death Awareness do not report leaving their body -- but rather they seem to experience both this world and the next world at the same time.
Hops,
I got to experience and listen to my mom exactly what this books talks about. I know this sounds odd but I was very comforted in the death of my mom just getting to be with her while she was getting ready to leave. I would have not known the signs or what she was saying if I did not read this book.
It is very true. My mom had given me final gifts.
The one gift she had given me is what I asked for towards the very end.
You have to read the book to know what I'm talking about but there was one part that said. Did you ever notice that when people are dying they seem to hang on (for us). We make it difficult for them to leave. You may walk outside for a coffee and say I was only gone for 5mins. Or I just went to the bathroom and she was gone.
I asked my mom to let me know when it was time. She was already getting ready because I had seen that see was in two worlds.
I seen more and more people (well didn't see) but knew they were really there for her to take her to the other side.
One night she said to me. Oh look with a big smile on her face, like she was giving me a surprise and waiting for my response.
I said look at what? She said look who is standing behind you. I said, mom you know I can't see them. I really want to but I can't. Who is it? Now this was very close to Xmas and I was dancing and singing in her room Xmas carols. She said, you know who it is.
It's your father. I said, it is? and then me and my father (danced) and she was so happy. When I lived with my mom I got the phone call that my father had died. My mother and sister were already on route to visit him. I arrived already knowing it. I never got to say goodbye nor did they. I think my mom just gave me that time back when she was approaching her final hours. I'm just sorry my sister was not with me then. She did not get this chance although I told her about it.
Now all through her talking about everyone being in that room coming from everywhere (people I could not see) deceased people my father was never one of them until this night.
I knew right then and there it was her time.
I told her later on that she needs to go with my Dad. She can leave us now. We will be fine to cross over. I told her I will be in and out to check on her that I did not want to make it difficult, because you know me mom, I'll get hysterical and I don't want to make you try to stay for me but please don't go with out you letting me know right before it.
I did go in and out and at one point I found her staring. I called her name and she did not answer. So what did I do? Became hysterical where she snapped out of it and said whats wrong? I said are you really going now? Is it time? She said yes. I left the room and sat on the couch. My H came in 20 mins later and I looked and said my mom is dead. He said, no, how do you know. I said I should have went in but I was hysterical. We both got up went in. She looked peaceful. I took her pulse and leaned down to listen to for breathing and she took her last breath and left.
See waited knowing I would need that for comfort and was gone.
Was very comforting to me Hops. All of it. Even that last breath. She knew I could not handle it sitting there the whole time and would become hysterical but she also knew she would not go without me being there. That was her final gift to me. Her last breath.
And four days later, a brand new, chubby Golden Ret for my kids that they so badly wanted from seeing one in the pet store. After my moms funeral my sister called me and said mommy gave me this money for you to get the puppy the kids want. Her last Xmas Gift.
And have her to this day.
I loved this book and changed the ways I look at things now.
Deb
