Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304083 times)

Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2400 on: May 22, 2011, 09:54:09 PM »
Hey Bones,
i saw that too...

Don't hesitate to start a thread...just see what happens!

You don't need permission.

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Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2401 on: May 22, 2011, 10:16:55 PM »
Hey Bones,
i saw that too...

Don't hesitate to start a thread...just see what happens!

You don't need permission.

hugs
Hops

Thanks, Hops!
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2402 on: May 23, 2011, 12:29:16 PM »
Feeling an emotional jumble today and don't know what to call it.

This past Saturday, I walked over to the park nearby to work on the community garden.  The weather wasn't too hot, cold, windy, or humid and it felt like a perfect time to get outside and get my hands in the dirt and the veggies.  When I walked into the park, I encountered two young kids, (actually they were in their 20's but are kids to me), wearing t-shirts that said "Park Rangers".  They were sitting at a table asking visitors to sign in and they were giving out stuff like key rings, Frisbees, jump-ropes, balls, and mouse-mats.  Out of curiosity, I asked what this was about.  One of the young Park Rangers explained that this was "Take Your Family to the Park Day" and then LOUDLY announces to me:  "YOU FAILED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BRING YOUR FAMILY!"

I was appalled, hurt, and felt insulted by a kid who was young enough to be my grand-child!  I shot back:  "I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY!"  Then he started apologizing profusely!  Geez!!!!

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2403 on: May 24, 2011, 06:49:08 AM »
 :|
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2404 on: May 25, 2011, 05:46:46 AM »
 :|
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2405 on: May 26, 2011, 07:00:28 AM »
Who has found examples of Narcissists caught on tape?  Can they be found on YouTube?
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2406 on: May 27, 2011, 06:29:30 AM »
 :|
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2407 on: May 28, 2011, 08:27:29 AM »
Anyone notice N's on Judge Judy lately?
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2408 on: May 29, 2011, 06:35:59 AM »
 :|

Not quite sure what I feel today other than frustrated...especially with Voc. Rehab....given that Voc. Rehab. gets paid with state money that is funded by my tax dollars.  I would think that the Voc. Rehab, counselors would be more responsive/communicative while assisting clients with disabilities to gain employment.  Is that an unreasonable expectation?
« Last Edit: May 29, 2011, 06:39:49 AM by BonesMS »
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2409 on: May 30, 2011, 06:13:18 AM »
 :?:
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2410 on: May 31, 2011, 06:56:46 AM »
 :|
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2411 on: May 31, 2011, 07:15:34 AM »
Sorry, Bones...haven't been doing much N-spotting lately.

What's going on with Voc Rehab?

And how are you doing physically?

Where do you go for a spot of coolness these days?

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Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2412 on: May 31, 2011, 08:58:46 AM »
Sorry, Bones...haven't been doing much N-spotting lately.

What's going on with Voc Rehab?

And how are you doing physically?

Where do you go for a spot of coolness these days?

hugs
Hops

Thanks, Hops!  What follows belong is L-O-N-G!

Regarding Voc. Rehab.....they had sent me to a program called Reaching Independence Through Self-Employment, (R.I.S.E.), given that I am overqualified, (and over-aged), for everything in my geographic area. 

To backtrack a bit...I had been assigned to one Voc. Rehab. counselor who simply frustrated the hell out of me with inappropriate crap such as sending me a job announcement, in the construction field, when I have ABSOLUTELY NO EXPERIENCE in construction!  That told me she had not bothered to read the copy of the resume' I gave her during our first meeting.  When I pointed out the REQUIREMENTS that were included in the job announcement and the obvious lack of a match with my background, training, experiences, education, etc., etc., etc., plus the fact that there would be hundreds of QUALIFIED applicants applying for that position in this lousy economy, her only response was:  "But.....it's a job!"   :?  Then she went on to suggest that I apply for a job as a coroner!   :shock: 

I asked her if Voc. Rehab. was going to send me to medical school so I could become a licensed physician and a licensed surgeon.  She responded:  "Oh, no, no, no!  We're NOT going to do THAT!"  I had to EXPLAIN THE OBVIOUS that a coroner has to have medical training and be a LICENSED physician/surgeon.  I also pointed out to her that I have NEVER been to medical school in my life!  She commented:  "But....it's cutting on dead people.  How hard can that be?"  I'm thinking to myself:  "WTF?!?!?  WHAT planet is she living on?!?!?!?)  I had brought up the possibility of getting into the R.I.S.E. program based on a suggestion from another Voc. Rehab. counselor at a (useless) workshop I was required to attend.  She gave me a bunch of "I don't know.....why don't you go to a different county?   :?)  Shortly after that meeting, I received a letter that this Voc. Rehab. counselor had been placed on "administrative leave" and that my case had been re-assigned to a second Voc. Rehab. counselor.  (Administrative leave conjured up a LOT of possible reasons which I have no way of verifying.)

I had to wait about a month or two before I was finally able to meet with Voc. Rehab. counselor Number Two.  Counselor Number Two started to immediately give me a boatload of excuses about why she should simply close my case and do NOTHING!  I had to advocate for myself that Counselor Number One had done NOTHING except give me the runaround and I was in no mood to accept that from Counselor Number Two.  I asked Counselor Number Two about the Reaching Independence Through Self Employment Program and she responded with a bunch of "I don't know....why don't I close your case for now?"  (Again, I'm thinking:  WTF?!?!?   :P)  Within a week or two of that one and only meeting with Voc. Rehab. Counselor Number Two, I receive ANOTHER letter that Counselor Number Two had RESIGNED and that my case had re-assigned to the Supervisor.  I had to wait several more months before I was able to have a face-to-face meeting with the Supervisor.

When I finally met with the Supervisor, she asked me a LOT of questions such as why I'm not working in my field of study given my Master's degree and I told her of all the obstacles and Catch-22 situations I had encountered, which made it impossible to work in that field.  Getting a Master's does not automatically give me license to practice.  I have to work as a trainee, with a board-approved supervisor, in order to earn the required hours and all the board-approved supervisors, that I contacted, are not interested in hiring a trainee so I had to give up that goal.  I asked the Voc. Rehab. Supervisor about the R.I.S.E. Program and, much to my surprise, she had me enrolled IMMEDIATELY at a facility near my home!   :shock:  (I still can't understand why Counselor Number One and Counselor Number Two had such a difficult time with that!)

I attended the classes over the course of several months and, with the assistance of the course instructor, wrote several drafts of my business plan that would need to be submitted to the Committee for their approval.  As I was working on revising my business plan, I get ANOTHER letter stating that Voc. Rehab. Counselor Number One has returned from Administrative Leave and I had been re-assigned back to this Idiot!!!   :P  Just as my business plan was reaching its final form with a target of submitting it to the Committee within 24 to 48 hours, (they had to receive it well in advance of their committee meeting in order to familiarize themselves with what I was proposing),  I get a phone call from Voc. Rehab. Counselor Number One, who proceeds to tell me that SHE doesn't like what she's looking at, (an earlier, way-outdated previous draft), and demanded that I immediately TRASH what I've done and START OVER FROM SCRATCH!!!!  I told her:  "No!  What you are looking at is outdated and my revisions are WAY PAST that first, second, third, and fourth draft.  I have been working closely with the R.I.S.E. instructor, the business plan is nearly complete, the Committee is scheduled to meet within a matter of days and I need to submit my proposal either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow for the Committee to begin reading it."  V.R. Counselor Number One repeated her demand that I trash what I've worked on because SHE didn't approve! 

By this point, I was getting really PISSED OFF as she had NOT been involved with my case, at all, for at least ONE YEAR and I didn't like the idea of her waltzing in at the tail-end of the Self-Employment process with orders that I trash everything and start over from scratch in order to get HER approval!  I bluntly stated:  "This is MY business plan, NOT YOURS, I have been working closely with the R.I.S.E. instructor and, in that instructor's view, it is almost ready to be submitted to the Committee as my business plan simply needed a few more minor tweaks.  The draft you are looking at is WAY OLD and WAY OUTDATED!"  (I'm also thinking, why can't V.R. Counselor Number One be bothered to communicate with the R.I.S.E. instructor so that we are all on the same page?!?!?!?  Is that too  much WORK for her?!?!?!?  Other V.R. counselors ACTUALLY CAME WITH THEIR CLIENTS to the R.I.S.E. orientation to SUPPORT THEIR CLIENTS!)  V.R. Counselor Number One got pissed off at me because I DARED tell her:  "N-O!"  Then she accused me of NEVER telling her about my retirement pension from my old job!  (I HAD TOLD HER ABOUT THAT PENSION DURING OUR VERY FIRST FACE-TO-FACE MEETING WHEN WE FIRST LAID EYES ON EACH OTHER!!!!  WTF?!?!?)

Fast-forward:  The Committee met on May 6th and I have been waiting ever since to find out what the Committee's decision was regarding my business proposal.  This past Friday, May 27th, I sent an e-mail to the R.I.S.E. instructor asking him how long it normally takes for a client to be informed of the Committee's decision.  I learned that the Committee sent out their decision on MAY 9th!!!!  The instructor suggested I contact V.R. Counselor Number One to ask her what she did or is doing.  By this point, I had already forwarded the e-mail regarding May 9th to the V.R. Supervisor.  (Why am I NOT surprised that V.R. Counselor Number One chose to sit on it and not communicate anything...AGAIN!  I'm thinking she's being passive-aggressive because I dared say the word "No" to her and she doesn't want to do the required work that the Committee has recommended.)  I told the R.I.S.E. instructor that I'm already communicating with the V.R. Supervisor because this non-communication/non-action on V.R. Counselor Number One's part is NOT a new problem, (based on info that the V.R. Supervisor sent me).  I feel very annoyed that my tax money is paying V.R. Counselor Number One to help her clients find employment and she wants to pull this crap instead of doing her job!  Damn!!!!!

Bones
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Guest

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2413 on: May 31, 2011, 12:56:57 PM »
Bones, commiserations and applause for staying in there and keeping at it!

People can be half-arsed, lazy, incompetent idiots. I don't know why they do jobs that they can't do, but they do, too many of them. Sheesh I would kick some bottoms on your behalf, if I could.

As a dear friend once said to me: don't let the bastards grind you down. I try not to!

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2414 on: May 31, 2011, 02:13:14 PM »
Bones, commiserations and applause for staying in there and keeping at it!

People can be half-arsed, lazy, incompetent idiots. I don't know why they do jobs that they can't do, but they do, too many of them. Sheesh I would kick some bottoms on your behalf, if I could.

As a dear friend once said to me: don't let the bastards grind you down. I try not to!

Thanks, Guest!

I really appreciate it!!!!

Bones
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