Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

And another resource on Spectrum Disorders:


http://www.templegrandin.com/

[BonesMS]

One of the questions I have struggled with is should I get a formal diagnosis as opposed to being self-diagnosed.  I spotted the following comment, by Temple Grandin, about this very issue:

"Older people who suspect that they are on the spectrum ask me all the time if they should get a formal diagnosis.  If their job and life is stable, I recommend keeping it off the electronic medical records.  They can obtain understanding by reading books on autism and attending meetings.  The only reason to get a formal diagnosis is to obtain services."

Unfortunately, where I live, there are NO services for Baby Boomers who are on the Spectrum.  Voc. Rehab. does NOT have a clue on what to do with people like us!  It feels like a Catch-22!   

[sKePTiKal]

Well Bones, I guess you'll have to "make do" with us, then! LOL...

[BonesMS]

Well Bones, I guess you'll have to "make do" with us, then! LOL...

Thanks, P.R.!   

[BonesMS]

At times, my being an Aspie gets in the way with 3-D people........

[Guest]

in what way, Bones?

[BonesMS]

in what way, Bones?

People who are NT, (Neurotypical), tend to view Aspies as "Weird".

[Meh]

I recommend keeping it off the electronic medical records.  

Oh this makes me sad, I know it's the crazy world that we live in...but it's crazy making these systems...health insurance, peoples fear and misunderstanding of other peoples problems....not getting as much help as possible because the help comes with it's own negative consequences....

every where I look I see reasons to "buck the system"....

Whatever you decide to do Bones I hope it works out for you. I've personally wondered if I have aspergers or borderline personality or if I'm merely a sensitive person with a troubled incarnation to live out. Gosh sometimes I don't feel like I'm living it out though...it feels like a long endurance test....Oy..
I've always liked Aspie people??---whatever is weird about them I don't seem to pick it up??
Hi I'm neuroatypical?
OR, Hi I'm neurotypical and I like long walks on the beach...

PS I mean I have read about Aspie people not picking up certain social cues....gosh I mean how does one introduce oneself when one has aspergers...

[BonesMS]

I recommend keeping it off the electronic medical records.  

Oh this makes me sad, I know it's the crazy world that we live in...but it's crazy making these systems...health insurance, peoples fear and misunderstanding of other peoples problems....not getting as much help as possible because the help comes with it's own negative consequences....

every where I look I see reasons to "buck the system"....

Whatever you decide to do Bones I hope it works out for you. I've personally wondered if I have aspergers or borderline personality or if I'm merely a sensitive person with a troubled incarnation to live out. Gosh sometimes I don't feel like I'm living it out though...it feels like a long endurance test....Oy..
I've always liked Aspie people??---whatever is weird about them I don't seem to pick it up??

Thanks, Roots.

I've posted links that describe the various Aspie traits.  Part of me wants an official diagnosis and, at the same time, I'm painfully aware that there are no services available for Baby Boomer Aspies in the area where I live.  The assessments are prohibitively expensive and the professionals don't accept health insurance.  To add to the complication, a vast majority of the qualified professionals focus only on children, not adults.  And if an individual is a senior citizen, the chances of finding a qualified professional to conduct an Asperger's assessment and have it paid for by health insurance is slim and none.

[Guest]

Well Bones, I believe that I'm NT and I don't view Aspies as weird.

But then I have a whole other load of people who have been in my life who I do view as very very weird.

Being NT doesn't make people gracious, smart, kind, compassionate, funny, accepting, curious. Being NT, they can also be as screwed up as one can be.

I tend to like Aspie-type people (I think I know a couple in 3D). I like people who are direct and say what they mean, even if that's not 'socially acceptable'. I don't have much regard for 'society'.

[BonesMS]

Well Bones, I believe that I'm NT and I don't view Aspies as weird.

But then I have a whole other load of people who have been in my life who I do view as very very weird.

Being NT doesn't make people gracious, smart, kind, compassionate, funny, accepting, curious. Being NT, they can also be as screwed up as one can be.

I tend to like Aspie-type people (I think I know a couple in 3D). I like people who are direct and say what they mean, even if that's not 'socially acceptable'. I don't have much regard for 'society'.

Thanks, Freshwater.

I wish more NTs were open-minded; then more Aspies won't have to feel as if we have to hide in a closet....figuratively or literally.

[BonesMS]

Spotted this in "Dear Abby" on Monday, January 16, 2012:

DEAR ABBY: This is an open letter to parents out there who bring their kids to adults-only events because they couldn't get a baby sitter, but didn't want to miss out on a fun time. Listen, folks -- when you signed on for parenthood, you gave up the privilege to party anytime you want. An invitation stating "adults only" means just that. Do not expect the hosts to tone it down because you were too selfish to stay home with your child.

I attended a 50th birthday party to which one mom brought her 5-year-old daughter. She then requested the host "sanitize" the event, but he refused. That mom spent most of the time covering her child's eyes. (She tried to cover the girl's ears, too, without success.)

Not only was there a racy birthday cake and adult toys as gifts, but the adults weren't holding back in conversations, either. Instead of leaving, the mom stayed -- until the male stripper started performing. She was mad, but it was her own fault that her little daughter witnessed more than she should have.

Parents should be grown-ups. That means occasionally missing out on something because they are no longer single and childless. Please don't mess up somebody's party with your selfishness. -- RESPONSIBLE MOM IN L.A.

========================================================================================================

God, does this bring back memories of the NWombDonor exposing us to more than we should have, while we were still little kids, because SHE didn't want to "miss out" on stuff that SHE wanted to do!  Then we got punished for asking questions about what we just witnessed among adults!!!!   

[Guest]

I understand Bones.

I heard someone on the radio today use the phrase "this culture of entitlement" and while I enjoyed hearing it recognised out loud on an everyday programme, I didn't like to hear the examples of how 'ordinary' people behave these days - like complete nutters.

[Meh]

These parents get on my nerves. I mean kids are okay and fun within a context but the idea that the whole world SHOULD ALWAYS be child friendly......your story bones is an example of a person who thinks the whole world revolves around them selves and their child...seems like having children brings this out in these people even more. I think they learn that they can control other people through their children and that is probably really what it's about to see how far they can take it. I mean what sort of idiot parent brings their kid to a party where there is going to be a stripper....strippers are not free after all. Gee...I know you paid for a stripper, I know you planned an adult party.....I know everybody else left their kids at home....BUT since I'm here I'm demanding that you all stop what you are doing and....do what I want you to do.....look how cute my kid is, look how smart my kid is...isnt my kid great.....(look how cute I am, look how smart I am, see I'm great).....

I've got an example to go along with this. In the past I painted (art). I knew an owner of a cafe and so had some of my canvasses put up in a cafe on the wall. There was a parent that touched with his hands an (one of mine) oil painting and removed it off of the wall without even asking the owner of the cafe...and then handed it to the owner and said that his child was bumping into the painting and it was in the way....Okay....the parent could have moved the childs chair to the other side of the table that is not adjacent to the wall....I don't know it was really weird. Maybe the guy just has an issue with art in general.

Honestly its one of the strangest things I've seen a parent do. OR maybe even super arrogant. Because there is some kind of basic rules that says you don't touch art with grubby hands, you don't rearrange art in a public place without asking the owners about it etc. And if your kid is bumping into something...then it makes more sense to move the kid...

Gosh, a parent that thinks everytime his kid is going to bump into something that the something shouldn't be in his kid's way!

[BonesMS]

These parents get on my nerves. I mean kids are okay and fun within a context but the idea that the whole world SHOULD ALWAYS be child friendly......your story bones is an example of a person who thinks the whole world revolves around them selves and their child...seems like having children brings this out in these people even more. I think they learn that they can control other people through their children and that is probably really what it's about to see how far they can take it. I mean what sort of idiot parent brings their kid to a party where there is going to be a stripper....strippers are not free after all. Gee...I know you paid for a stripper, I know you planned an adult party.....I know everybody else left their kids at home....BUT since I'm here I'm demanding that you all stop what you are doing and....do what I want you to do.....look how cute my kid is, look how smart my kid is...isnt my kid great.....(look how cute I am, look how smart I am, see I'm great).....

I've got an example to go along with this. In the past I painted (art). I knew an owner of a cafe and so had some of my canvasses put up in a cafe on the wall. There was a parent that touched with his hands an (one of mine) oil painting and removed it off of the wall without even asking the owner of the cafe...and then handed it to the owner and said that his child was bumping into the painting and it was in the way....Okay....the parent could have moved the childs chair to the other side of the table that is not adjacent to the wall....I don't know it was really weird. Maybe the guy just has an issue with art in general.

Honestly its one of the strangest things I've seen a parent do. OR maybe even super arrogant. Because there is some kind of basic rules that says you don't touch art with grubby hands, you don't rearrange art in a public place without asking the owners about it etc. And if your kid is bumping into something...then it makes more sense to move the kid...

Gosh, a parent that thinks every time his kid is going to bump into something that the something shouldn't be in his kid's way!

Geez!!!  There's child-proofing and then there is being RIDICULOUS!!!!!!  I don't understand these self-centered morons!!!!