Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Having sleep problems this morning..........................

[BonesMS]

I've gotten responses from two other members of the Board and I have been encouraging them to read the documents they have and ask questions too.  That's the best I can do.

[BonesMS]

checking in.......................

[BonesMS]

Sleep difficulties this morning....................

[BonesMS]

Dealing with anxieties........................................

[BonesMS]

checking in.................................

[sKePTiKal]

Anything specific worrying you? the HOA stuff? or just "stuff" in general?

It might not apply for you, but one of the herbal concoctions I'm using trying to balance my hormones, I noticed had affected my mental state. I had the full on, non-stop, racing thoughts (but I don't have any legitimate worries right now) - and if I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom - that was plenty of time to get caught up in all that. Day & night, I was like that (it was like the effect Welbutrin had on me)... and once I realized I couldn't hold on to a train of thought long enough to finish a task without getting side-tracked - sigh - I took a week's break from it. Cleared right up. Now, I only take it in the morning and I've cut the dose again.

But gotta admit, it was pretty interesting to notice this affect. It's a thyroid support combo and contains ashwagandha, as it's main ingredient. And everything I've seen only talks about drowsiness as a side effect - but then, I should know by now that my body is set up the reverse from most people. Like things are wired backwards in my brain! hahaha!

[BonesMS]

Anything specific worrying you? the HOA stuff? or just "stuff" in general?

It might not apply for you, but one of the herbal concoctions I'm using trying to balance my hormones, I noticed had affected my mental state. I had the full on, non-stop, racing thoughts (but I don't have any legitimate worries right now) - and if I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom - that was plenty of time to get caught up in all that. Day & night, I was like that (it was like the effect Welbutrin had on me)... and once I realized I couldn't hold on to a train of thought long enough to finish a task without getting side-tracked - sigh - I took a week's break from it. Cleared right up. Now, I only take it in the morning and I've cut the dose again.

But gotta admit, it was pretty interesting to notice this affect. It's a thyroid support combo and contains ashwagandha, as it's main ingredient. And everything I've seen only talks about drowsiness as a side effect - but then, I should know by now that my body is set up the reverse from most people. Like things are wired backwards in my brain! hahaha!

Thanks, P.R.

It's mainly the HOA stuff that has my anxiety going.  I'm NOT a politician and I don't like having my time wasted with political BS games.  I prefer to deal with issues openly and above board, not with little secretive back-room side meetings, if you know what I mean.  I sense that I may have ruffled the feathers of some N's because I DARED to say NO to their ORDERS and I'm wondering what the backlash is going to be.  From my perspective, I wasn't elected by the other homeowners just to be compliant with whatever property management dictates when property management IS AN EMPLOYEE.  (So much for the "honeymoon" stage immediately after an election!)

I hear ya about medications, etc. working backwards!  I tried that 5-hour energy drink, once, and it threw me into one of the WORST DEPRESSIONS I had EVER experienced!!!  While it's supposed to give energy to others, it only SAPPED my energy and made suicidal thoughts WORSE!  I had the same effect when I tried an over-the-counter remedy called "Senior Moment".  That triggered Depression too!!  So I know I need to be careful with any over-the-counter or herbal remedies since my brain is hard-wired differently from everyone else.

[BonesMS]

I'm also taking another risk in stepping outside of my comfort zone.

In working on my genealogy, it's sunk into my little pea-brain that one of my ancestors was a soldier in the American Revolution....making me eligible for the DAR.  I remember being told, by the N's in the family, that I would NEVER be accepted anywhere because I'm the "wrong color", (I'm part African-American).  I also remember that decades ago, the DAR refused to permit Marian Anderson to perform in Constitution Hall because of her race.  Time has changed all that, (me and other African-Americans have performed on the stage at Constitution Hall in 1976), and the DAR website clearly states that it will not discriminate on the basis of race.  The only requirement for membership is being a direct descendant of a Patriot that is provable.

I've made some inquiries about the possibility of joining a chapter near my home and, at the same time, I AM TERRIFIED!

[sKePTiKal]

Have no fear, Bones! Claiming what's rightfully yours is always a good feeling.
Chances are, you'll be validated in your quest.

[BonesMS]

Have no fear, Bones! Claiming what's rightfully yours is always a good feeling.
Chances are, you'll be validated in your quest.

Thanks, P.R.

I hope so. 

I guess feeling like I'm "good enough" is an unfamiliar experience.

[sKePTiKal]

ain't it the truth?!

Good enough:

to feel good
to be satisfied with how much I accomplish in one day
to feel "allowed" to take a day off to play, do absolutely nothing productive, or just do nothing - and enjoy it!
to feel confident enough in myself to not automatically isolate myself from people
to not distrust myself and other's intentions
to remember to pat myself on the back for even microsteps of progress - no matter how far away the goal remains
to just have some fun, laugh, and love with those who are important to me...

since I can't fix what's wrong with "people", the "news", the "politics", etc... when I can't even feel important/good enough to myself to decide what to fix for dinner!


LOL... I feel so silly sometimes about how easy it is to forget this "standard operating procedure"... and the extremes I will go to, to actually SEEK OUT things to worry about, be indignant about, be obsessed with... and make myself feel just AWFUL because I don't have superpowers to make everything super-duper great for everybody. (When I'm really struggling, I suspect this tendency of mine is a distraction I use to keep myself from doing all the things on my "should" and "want to" list...)

It's like housework - 5 minutes after I've got everything spotless, a cat barfs... or the dog drags in something from the yard... or hubby's printed out a stack of paper to "share" with me... or the other cat is playing pinball in the house, trying to catch the last bug we let in.

It's always SOMETHING.

[BonesMS]

ain't it the truth?!

Good enough:

to feel good
to be satisfied with how much I accomplish in one day
to feel "allowed" to take a day off to play, do absolutely nothing productive, or just do nothing - and enjoy it!
to feel confident enough in myself to not automatically isolate myself from people
to not distrust myself and other's intentions
to remember to pat myself on the back for even microsteps of progress - no matter how far away the goal remains
to just have some fun, laugh, and love with those who are important to me...

since I can't fix what's wrong with "people", the "news", the "politics", etc... when I can't even feel important/good enough to myself to decide what to fix for dinner!


LOL... I feel so silly sometimes about how easy it is to forget this "standard operating procedure"... and the extremes I will go to, to actually SEEK OUT things to worry about, be indignant about, be obsessed with... and make myself feel just AWFUL because I don't have superpowers to make everything super-duper great for everybody. (When I'm really struggling, I suspect this tendency of mine is a distraction I use to keep myself from doing all the things on my "should" and "want to" list...)

It's like housework - 5 minutes after I've got everything spotless, a cat barfs... or the dog drags in something from the yard... or hubby's printed out a stack of paper to "share" with me... or the other cat is playing pinball in the house, trying to catch the last bug we let in.

It's always SOMETHING.

Thanks, P.R.

It's so hard to break from the "programming" that the N's FORCED down our throats while growing up!

[BonesMS]

checking in..........................

[BonesMS]

This first letter sounds like the family is dealing with an N and, as usual, the advice columnists DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!



http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/be-careful-with-your-power-of-attorney.html




Also, recently got a private message, on FB, from one of my blood relatives on the NQueen's side of the family demanding that I call him.  At first, it sounded urgent and I asked him what was going on.  His response, "Oh, nothing.  It's been a while since we've talked and I just want to catch up."  (DUDE, that is what E-MAIL is for!   )  I told him that I don't make long distance calls.  (I have NO desire to run up my phone bills listening to him BRAG about HIMSELF for hours.....again!  I learned that lesson the hard way years ago.  He's a male version of the NQueenB*tch!   )  He wanted me to give him my current number.   I told him that (a) I'm busy and (b) I don't want my phone tied up as I'm expecting an important phone call.  (Basically saying that HE IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE!)  I have NO desire to deal with him because he has a nasty habit of talking down to me and treating me as if I'm mentally retarded plus making sexual inuendos with the "excuse" of "but they do it in West Virginia, hee-hee-hee!"  (What part of the word "NO" do you NOT understand, BUTTHEAD?!?!?!?")  Essentially, the ONLY time he CONDESCENDS to speak to me is when HE WANTS SOMETHING that benefits ONLY HIM!  (I'm NOT interested in the sick family games!)