Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Bonesy - unless there's an underlying bio-issue that causes high blood pressure (like kidney disease)... your best bet is to focus on the "easy" stuff first. (BP drugs - in particular - cause so many issues, side effects - that you have to fight off your doc, to be allowed to have the time to change your lifestyle habits; doesn't happen in just a couple of weeks - more like 6 months.)

My BP, while I haven't checked it, I KNOW has been up the last month, given the situation. It can also contribute to insomnia, btw. Things like stress, anxiety, letting your mind run over & over the same maze of crap repeatedly... all raise BP. The stress side things (and sometimes anxiety) affect how well some folks - like me - take care of ourselves. "Stress eating" usually involves empty calories, that none of us need... not getting enough sunlight or exercise... and the biggest one for me: not being able to simply sit still, do nothing physical, and really REST. Stress and BP are the perfect feedback loop; a perpetual motion that ultimately - if it isn't interrupted; stopped - will stop very suddenly and permanently.

How 'bout this? Consider it an experiment: try "intentional walking"... walk comfortably, at a slow pace... and focus on the whole sole of your foot... heel down, pressure, roll onto ball of foot, lift up on toes... all the while grinding the "object of disgust currently being an irritant" underfoot. Repeat as needed! 

Thanks!

I'll try that.

[BonesMS]

I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!

It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!! 

He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING!  He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here.  What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live.  He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them!  I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual.  I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988.  I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students!  In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!

His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way!  I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!

DAMN!! DAMN!!!  DAMN!!!!!

Not surprised you're having trouble sleeping with this going on, who is they guy?  Is he providing something to the group that you all need?  I've had similar things with my son's autism over the years, people who just won't listen to those who live with the condition and deal with it every day - very annoying!  Hope you got some sleep eventually xxx

Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

He's the coordinator for the town he lives in and was assisting in setting up a training session that would involve members of the Deaf community who reside in the area.  You're right, Tupp, it is VERY ANNOYING!  The planning sessions were going swimmingly until my Deaf friend, who is a member of the planning committee, requested a Certified Interpreter when the coordinator wanted to set up a formal meeting with other Emergency Responders to give a preliminary overview of the objectives, etc. of what we are trying to accomplish.  The coordinator sends me a private e-mail ANNOUNCING that I would be the one VOLUNTEERING to interpret at this formal meeting...ignoring the fact that I was supposed to be one of the PRESENTERS!  I wrote back that (1) I am no longer a certified interpreter, that I have more or less retired from that due to age-related issues, (2) if I could interpret, that would PREVENT ME FROM BEING A PARTICIPATE AND PRESENTER because I would have to have my sole focus on interpreting....I CANNOT do both!  When I responded with my e-mail, I sent a "cc:" to my Deaf friend and she attempted to explain her needs from the perspective of a Deaf person who has been Deaf all her life and why these needs are important.

The coordinator reacted with anger, referred to the Deaf Community as a whole as "SELFISH", (that rang some familiar bells), and canceled everything because we REFUSED to do it HIS way and that the Deaf Community was being "ungrateful" about HIS efforts!  (As I'm reading his response to me, I couldn't help but think to myself......'this sounds SO N!')  I tried to point out that there is a long history within the Deaf Community that is MUCH BIGGER than he and I.  He just wasn't going to hear me and he still continues to think that the Deaf Community should accept whatever HE decides FOR them!  (This is the very same attitude that the students at Gallaudet protested against when the Deaf President Now Protest occurred in 1988.)  Bottom line, he wants to deny me and the Deaf Community a VOICE!  He wants us to remain VOICELESS!  NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

Tupp, again, you are right.  This is what has impacted my ability to sleep.  On top of that, my new doctor has brought to my attention that I have developed pre-hypertension.  (Looks like the family genetics is finally kicking in.)  Now I have to find better ways to control my blood pressure so it does not get too high or fall too low.  YUCK!!!   

I am just about ready to SPIT NAILS!!!!!

This individual just sent me an e-mail a little while ago giving me the ultimatum that if I don't convince the Deaf Community to do what HE wants, HIS WAY, he will go ahead with what he wants to do and have HEARING people act Deaf using HIS system that HE devised, (which is TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE to any Deaf person)!  I read that e-mail and I was appalled!

To be BLUNT, having HEARING people pretend they are DEAF in any sort of acting role is equivalent to a Caucasian painting on blackface and pretending to be an African-American!  IT IS JUST NOT APPROPRIATE!!!!!  GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hopalong]

http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/how-lower-blood-pressure-naturally

You can do it, Bones!

(Note that every time you're reacting to a moment in ALL - CAPS, so is your BP...

love to you,
Hops

[BonesMS]

http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/how-lower-blood-pressure-naturally

You can do it, Bones!

(Note that every time you're reacting to a moment in ALL - CAPS, so is your BP...

love to you,
Hops

I hear you, Hops.

To me, this is a Civil Rights issue that my Deaf friends and I have been fighting for since the 1970's when Federal laws came into effect.  Here we are, in the 21st Century, and discrimination against the Deaf is STILL going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130408

Today's "Dear Abby".

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/love-stuck.html

Today's "Annie's Mailbox".

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_my_new_boyfriend_has_a_baby_on_the_way_with_his_ex.html

Today's "Dear Prudence".

[BonesMS]

trouble sleeping again...............................

[BonesMS]

I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!

It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!! 

He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING!  He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here.  What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live.  He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them!  I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual.  I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988.  I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students!  In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!

His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way!  I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!

DAMN!! DAMN!!!  DAMN!!!!!

Not surprised you're having trouble sleeping with this going on, who is they guy?  Is he providing something to the group that you all need?  I've had similar things with my son's autism over the years, people who just won't listen to those who live with the condition and deal with it every day - very annoying!  Hope you got some sleep eventually xxx

Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

He's the coordinator for the town he lives in and was assisting in setting up a training session that would involve members of the Deaf community who reside in the area.  You're right, Tupp, it is VERY ANNOYING!  The planning sessions were going swimmingly until my Deaf friend, who is a member of the planning committee, requested a Certified Interpreter when the coordinator wanted to set up a formal meeting with other Emergency Responders to give a preliminary overview of the objectives, etc. of what we are trying to accomplish.  The coordinator sends me a private e-mail ANNOUNCING that I would be the one VOLUNTEERING to interpret at this formal meeting...ignoring the fact that I was supposed to be one of the PRESENTERS!  I wrote back that (1) I am no longer a certified interpreter, that I have more or less retired from that due to age-related issues, (2) if I could interpret, that would PREVENT ME FROM BEING A PARTICIPATE AND PRESENTER because I would have to have my sole focus on interpreting....I CANNOT do both!  When I responded with my e-mail, I sent a "cc:" to my Deaf friend and she attempted to explain her needs from the perspective of a Deaf person who has been Deaf all her life and why these needs are important.

The coordinator reacted with anger, referred to the Deaf Community as a whole as "SELFISH", (that rang some familiar bells), and canceled everything because we REFUSED to do it HIS way and that the Deaf Community was being "ungrateful" about HIS efforts!  (As I'm reading his response to me, I couldn't help but think to myself......'this sounds SO N!')  I tried to point out that there is a long history within the Deaf Community that is MUCH BIGGER than he and I.  He just wasn't going to hear me and he still continues to think that the Deaf Community should accept whatever HE decides FOR them!  (This is the very same attitude that the students at Gallaudet protested against when the Deaf President Now Protest occurred in 1988.)  Bottom line, he wants to deny me and the Deaf Community a VOICE!  He wants us to remain VOICELESS!  NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

Tupp, again, you are right.  This is what has impacted my ability to sleep.  On top of that, my new doctor has brought to my attention that I have developed pre-hypertension.  (Looks like the family genetics is finally kicking in.)  Now I have to find better ways to control my blood pressure so it does not get too high or fall too low.  YUCK!!!   

I am just about ready to SPIT NAILS!!!!!

This individual just sent me an e-mail a little while ago giving me the ultimatum that if I don't convince the Deaf Community to do what HE wants, HIS WAY, he will go ahead with what he wants to do and have HEARING people act Deaf using HIS system that HE devised, (which is TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE to any Deaf person)!  I read that e-mail and I was appalled!

To be BLUNT, having HEARING people pretend they are DEAF in any sort of acting role is equivalent to a Caucasian painting on blackface and pretending to be an African-American!  IT IS JUST NOT APPROPRIATE!!!!!  GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm getting the vibes that this situation is going to get uglier.  If it goes the way I think it's going, then I may end up having to quit this volunteer organization.

[Twoapenny]

Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie?  Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune.  Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up?  It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx

[BonesMS]

Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie?  Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune.  Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up?  It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx

I'm trying to work through various channels in attempting to enlighten people about Deaf Civil Rights.  If none of the hearing people are willing to listen, and condone this kind of discrimination, then I will have no choice but to quit volunteering with this group.  I cannot, in good conscience, stay affiliated with any group that discriminates.

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130410

Today's "Dear Abby".

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/blame-it-on-the-plumber.html

Today's "Annie's Mailbox".

[Twoapenny]

Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie?  Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune.  Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up?  It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx

I'm trying to work through various channels in attempting to enlighten people about Deaf Civil Rights.  If none of the hearing people are willing to listen, and condone this kind of discrimination, then I will have no choice but to quit volunteering with this group.  I cannot, in good conscience, stay affiliated with any group that discriminates.

Aw Bonesie, this is a crap situation, I really hope this silly man disappears and you don't have to leave.  I know what you mean, there have been groups I've distanced myself from because I haven't been confortable with the way they operate in order to get funds etc (like not upsetting politicians who endorse policies that target the disabled, for example).  So I completely understand where you're coming from, I just hope it doesn't end with you - the person in the right! - has to leave.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[BonesMS]

Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie?  Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune.  Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up?  It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx

I'm trying to work through various channels in attempting to enlighten people about Deaf Civil Rights.  If none of the hearing people are willing to listen, and condone this kind of discrimination, then I will have no choice but to quit volunteering with this group.  I cannot, in good conscience, stay affiliated with any group that discriminates.

Aw Bonesie, this is a crap situation, I really hope this silly man disappears and you don't have to leave.  I know what you mean, there have been groups I've distanced myself from because I haven't been confortable with the way they operate in order to get funds etc (like not upsetting politicians who endorse policies that target the disabled, for example).  So I completely understand where you're coming from, I just hope it doesn't end with you - the person in the right! - has to leave.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'll know within about a week or so what my final decision will have to be.