Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/outright-hostility-or-bipolarity.html

Could she be an N?

[BonesMS]

Feeling achy and irritable today.

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131021

[BonesMS]

Still achy and irritable.

[Hopalong]

I hear you, Bones.

Have you ever read up on an anti-inflammatory diet?
It's just simple, whole foods, with a few extras westerners
often skip, like tumeric, ginger, pepper...

xo
Hops

[BonesMS]

I hear you, Bones.

Have you ever read up on an anti-inflammatory diet?
It's just simple, whole foods, with a few extras westerners
often skip, like tumeric, ginger, pepper...

xo
Hops

I've been trying to do that.  There's just been situations going on lately that has really been pissing me off.

[BonesMS]

I hear you, Bones.

Have you ever read up on an anti-inflammatory diet?
It's just simple, whole foods, with a few extras westerners
often skip, like tumeric, ginger, pepper...

xo
Hops

I've been trying to do that.  There's just been situations going on lately that has really been pissing me off.

One example started a couple of weeks ago after a local political candidate met my upstairs neighbor.  During their conversation, the politician had the PERFECT opportunity to ask various questions of my neighbor...but didn't.  Then, about a week ago, I receive an e-mail from this politician asking me to ask my upstairs neighbor to volunteer for one of his pet projects.  I said, point blank, that I don't do stuff like that especially when I'm aware of what kind of schedule my neighbor(s) have.  This particular neighbor is so busy that he doesn't even have the time to attend homeowners' meetings because he's heading to work at the crack of dawn and doesn't get back home until late at night.  (I think he's working TWO JOBS in order to pay the bills.)  I told this politician that I don't see how my upstairs neighbor is going to have the time to volunteer for this pet project given his hectic schedule.

I didn't get any response to my "No" until yesterday afternoon when a total stranger calls my landline and asks for me by name.  When I asked what this call was about, he commented that the local politician had asked him to call me to request that I speak with my upstairs neighbor about volunteering for this pet project of his.  (WTF?!?!?!?  What PART of the word "NO" did this politician NOT understand?!?!?)  I told this caller that I do NOT do stuff like that and explained WHY.  He tried to beg me to ask this neighbor to volunteer and I had to repeat that this neighbor does NOT have that kind of time.  He stated that they were desperate to have a volunteer for this project.  I asked how complicated was it and if it was possible for me to have a look at it.  He invited me to a meeting that same evening so the project could be discussed and arranged for him to give me a ride at 5:30 PM.

At 4:00 PM, he calls me back to tell me that the group had decided to handle this project themselves and he was, and I quote, DISINVITING me to their meeting.  I was sorely tempted to respond with:  "Thanks for aggravating me and wasting MY time with your BULLSH*T!"  I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO CRAP LIKE THAT!!!! 

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_my_daughter_is_scared_of_my_close_relatives_new_puppy.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kinky-husband-with-an-odorous-fetish.html

[Hopalong]

Hi Bones,
I know it really agitates you when people don't take a no for an answer.
Isn't it maddening? When you explain something, and people come back as though you didn't, it's frustrating.

Know you're not alone in that though! I think repetition or perseverance (perseverating is one of my favorite words) is just natural. People aren't logical...and when they neeeeeeeeeeeeeed or waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant something, often a No or an explanation is just seen as "something I can steer around if I just go FASTER).

It's not personal. And it has nothing to do with you. It's just the other person's way of maneuvering through the world.

Make sure you remember that being good to Bones, and keeping her peaceful, is more important than being right! (Must be some way to disengage, just hear the person who's repeating him/herself...as background noise...you can just repeat, too! But calmly, so you don't experience distress.)

One of my favorite lessons from an assertiveness workshop was the power of calmly repeating my statement. I always though if someone wasn't listening or didn't get it, that I had to start all over to explain my point in different WORDS. The leader said no, most of the time, you can just REPEAT JUST WHAT YOU SAID THE FIRST TIME, and keep repeating it. Her genius was in showing us how we could do that very calmly, un-upset...just saying the same sentence again in a pleasant tone. And again.

Eventually, the non-listener's brain will pause and say to itself: Huh. I think I am hearing these words again. maybe this time, I'll listen.


xo
Hops

[BonesMS]

Thanks, Hops.

I just have no patience with politicians!  They pluck my LAST nerve!

[BonesMS]

Can't sleep.

[Meh]

Hi Bones

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones

Hi, Bean.

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_accidentally_insulted_a_co_worker_oops.html