I Am An Idiot- Please Advise-I Was Almost On Cops

[sally]

Dear Changing,

Other than "The" Dean, is there another higher up you could speak with?  Is there a Dean of Students, who is one rung lower than the Dean?  Do you have an adviser?

I understand why you feel shame ((((((((((Changing))))))))))))).

Would you feel better if you owned your shame and then maybe realize that the situation does not reflect shame on you, but rather is a terribly messy divorce from an N?

Love,
sally

[Ami]

i wrote a post to you, Changing, but it got erased. It is so upsetting to even have policemen in your house-- let alone what you went through.
   Last week two came over asking questions about my neighbor. Even having them in my house was so  uncomfortable and "creepy". I remember just thanking God that they were not there for me.
  When I think of you with your  dignity being treated so shabbily by them-- I am so,so angry.
 I can see you in my mind's eye, I see graciousness, dignity and quiet goodness. It is a curse on your XH for him to treat you this way.
  My friend Maria who is very "Godly" has said that anyone who ever hurt her had it come back on them. I think that what your XH sows, he will reap--- I really do. Your are God's special child .
  "When my mother and father forsake me, God will lift me up". People who are abused and whose family has deserted them(like us) hold a special place in God's heart(IMO).
  I hope that this does not sound trite. I look back on all the ways that God has protected me and it is amazing.Also, I see that what people sowed, they reaped
  Contact me if I can help in any way                              Love  Ami

[Iphi]

changing - I hope you are feeling a bit better and am so glad you contacted the prof.  Your education is just so important and I know you want it so much.  I hated that today might have sabotaged that.  Good for you! 

Now, it seems clear that you need good advice and support IRL.  In the past I learned, to my surprise, that you can call the women's shelter in your area. 

They have many, many resources in the community, including references for lawyers.  It's not just for physical shelter.  You need good advice, support and legal counsel ASAP. 

CB123 is right - this horrific passage can really be turned to good account in your lawyer training, though not helpful in passing the bar.  When you are representing a client you will need to pursue their interests in every feasible way.  If you do not, then you are not properly representing your client.  So it will be good practice for you to pursue all remedies and assistance available to you now.

Sleep well and, remember, don't be a sitting duck. 

[changing]

Hello My Friends-

I got some more of the things in the house outside-then I flew out, took a chunk of my savings out of the Credit Union, just in case ...I went looking for a lawyer, you just won't believe this! I had a consult with a lawyer who went to my law school, and offered to speak to the profs, etc, for me! She gave me such wonderful information, and understood the whole thing- she is embroiled in a lawsuit against our corrupt P.D. ( It is well known that our police here are rotten, many books, etc about it). She has a case that is very similar, except they won a judgement against the cops. The cops then came to the client's place of business for a "fire alarm" - arrested the guy and claimed he was hitting them!!!! she wanted to add my cops bad acts to her list, but I said no- I don't want to get into another fight at this time.
I learned how to not owe $ to NH because I live in the house (document needed repairs , etc). She thought the idea of taking everything out was good as well.
Bad news is he can come in until I buy him out- what a nightmare.She said to call 24/7- she will get me out of custody quickly if need be, before they ship me off to the jail in the boonies, and gave me the name of a goodlocal  bondsman . (her office is actually a couple of streets away from the local lockup.) She said that it would be good experience, just like you did here! She advised me to wait a bit to file, take care of some items first, as the filing of the papers set things in stone- but I'm getting everything together and may push the filing. My batteries are dying...

Thank you so much Friends!

Changing

[isittoolate]

oh Changing,

Doesn't it feel great to have good news and it comes from someone who understands, has connections, and good advice.

I was so pleased to read this post.

Love
Izzy

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[Hopalong]

YeGods, Changing, I am so sorry hon!

I am so proud of you.

You have sounded so CLEAR even through your fear and distress.

I will never forgot your deep kindness to me in so many posts.

Please, turn that right into yourself right now.

I am so so pleased about your advocate.

Thoughts with you tonight, ready to hear more.

with very much love,
Hops

[JanetLG]

Changing,

Your latest post sounds a lot more hopeful than your first! I'm so glad for you. This is such a scary thing to have to deal with. It sounds like the lawyer really knows her stuff, so you'll get good support there.

I'll be thinking of you today, Changing.

Janet

[lighter]

The thing is...... it's hard to think in a rational manner, at first. 

Every time they hit you with some crazy unforseen cowardly act..... it's difficult. 

Eventually.... there's less shock and more rational thought... and then they have BIG trouble; )

I know you're going to figure this out.  Love the PI and he's not smart enough to best you, changing.

Thank you Iphi and Authentic-

I am going to do a few more things and then try to get some sort of order of protection- tough in this case. I need to hire a P.I . and get his phone and address also- he was even secretive with the cops about this. I guess I have to go to war with that NH jackal. I will think about school later- too late to go there, its Rosh Hosahana eve, they leave early today.

Thank you again, I don't feel so nuts- it would be so hard to tell someone who is unfamiliar with the situation everything - too crazy.

Changing

[Ami]

Dear Changing
  I am praying that God will lead you in the way that you should go and He will make doors open and close for you-- in your best interest. I think that you will have supernatural Divine guidance and happenings as you go forward. I really, really do.
"With God -ALL things are possible" I hope that I don't sound "trite". It is easy to say these words. However, I have had so,so,so many supernatural things happen to me that I really should have NO doubt However, I do doubt
  I am praying  for you. You are such a precious. precious person                      Love  Ami.

[lighter]

Sounds like you got some good advice there, changing.

I like it when we make the switch to our battle cry.....

and leave the fear and dread behind; )

[Iphi]

Last night you were on my mind changing and I was apprehensive.  I was apprehensive that you would not act to protect yourself.  I know that we were 'raised' not to do so and you have in past tolerated a great deal, unaware of your right not to do so, and your strength in enforcing that right.

I am SO happy you went right out and found a lawyer who knows what she is doing and you have a forming strategy and plans for contingencies!!!  YAAAAY!

Don't tip your hand to the psycho.  Let HIM get caught unawares.   

You rock girly!

[changing]

Hello Iphi, Izzy, Ami Authentic, Lighter, Shunned, Janet, Hoppy, Besee, Sally, and All-

I have missed a total of 3 days of law classes (at most 2 classes per subject, the least 1 class per subject). NH came yesterday AM when I was ready to leave and I stayed inside (he said that he had been up since 4AM (I don't care) and other squirrelly stuff. I will have all of the things out of the house except bare bone living requirements by Saturday (I hope) and will leave any time he or cops come, if they let me. I know that splitting up with an NH can be the most hazardous period, so I am cautious.
I have emailed my paper, emailed my professors, requested reasonable accommodations for my disabilities (as is my right to do- so many people get accommodations, I never asked for them except for parking). So maybe there can be some good to come out of this, in addition to documenting the NH/gun debacle further, and a complete clean sweep of the house (what a pain).
I  just remembered last night (I am not very bright- brain cells dead and dying) that I know the head of the investigative body that is actively investigating the P.D. here, through my undergraduate academic work. They had worked with my professor, and I was given an opportunity to interview and correspond with them. I am going to call this person and just outline what happened to me, and see what they say. I am too afraid to directly make a complaint using the P.D. format, but would be very protected here. I might even introduce my lawyer, but after the divorce- too many complications, I think. At least there would be a high-level record of the incident, including the NH psych mandate and gun issue, and they know me in another context, so my credibility might be greater here than with the cops!
I am also going to take the further excellent suggestion of contacting the local DV shelters. I also have worked with them in a non-therapy or shelter capacity- they do so much interfacing with the cops. I can't believe how brain-dead I am, and how you all have helped with getting me on track in big and small matters and in prayer and friendship. I finally spoke with a friend of many years regarding this- it has always been a one-way street as far as my helping her with many concerns, etc, but this time she was very concerned with my situation, and offered to have me stay at her place, is calling periodically to see if NH has finshed me off, etc.

Even though I am an infinitesimal blip in the universe or on my street for that matter, no one has better and more loving friends than those that I  have found here, and no head of state has better or more sincere advisors than you have been to me. I am eternally grateful from the bottom of my heart.

Love,

Changing

[JanetLG]

Changing,

I'm really pleased that things are gradually sorting out a bit. It's good that you have the offer of somewhere else to stay, if you need it.

I've been thinking about you.

Janet

[Ami]

Dear Changing,
  I think that the "waters are going to part" for you and you are going to walk through--unharmed.
                                                 Love to you,Dear,    Ami
 

[Iphi]

changing - I'm so excited to hear about your actions. Good for you!  I don't think you are dumb or full of dying brain cells at all.  I think you were triggered and froze.  I freeze too, just when it would be best to leap into action, and at those times I need help because I can't think.  So don't you put yourself down or be mean to yourself.  Nice changing, good changing, we like changing, changing is nice.