Thank you, Changing. That's another good aspect of writing these stories. As you're living these things, well, the way I did it, I was so caught up in my goals and just surviving and doing what I thought I had to do.... that I never realized just how much it all was. Many of these turning points were true obstacles and challenges. Some of these things many people, the healthy ones perhaps, or just lucky ones, never have to encounter in life.
Of course, in seeing how much of it was just me fighting, fighting, struggling, struggling, all the time--I wonder what I could have accomplished with all that energy given over to just surviving. Or maybe I wouldn't have "accomplished" as much. I just might have been happier and met other happier people.
I had an N boss once who required us to keep track of what we did all day long so she could compile wonderful statistics in her year-end "Look at ME!" report. With each year I worked there my pages became more and more tightly packed with tasks and projects. One year I actually did two jobs for several months and split each page in two in order to accommodate everything I did. At the end of the year I just gazed at all that writing and finally understood why I was so tired all the time. And this was mostly an office job. When I was right in it, I didn't see it. But later when I read it all, it just took my breath away.
Pennyplant
