So glad you're doing OK, Sun.
Document the phone call.
What was said, the time, etc.
Another 3rd party contacting you on your H's behalf, why the hell would he phone you at midnight, for goodness sake?
At some point, I hope you just stop listening or taking their calls.
I know it's hard bc it makes you feel even more vulnerable..... not having a finger on theN's pulse but..... it's really not giving you any information you don't already have.
He's going to keep spinning and making things up..... telling his little story differently to everyone who'll listen.
Eventually, it'll catch up to him and that'll be in court.
Be prepared for everyone to want you both to come to an agreement and get the hell out of their courtroom.
You'll be willing to be reasonable and he'll pretend to be willing, wich is crap.
Of course, that only adds more time bc he WON'T be reasonable.
It really sucks that it makes you look unreasonable if you refuse to keep giving him chances (to jerk you around) but you have to keep reminding your attorney that mediation, in a domestic Violence situation, is a bad choice.
The midators often help bully the victims and the abuser won't be reasonable... he just keeps bullying and abusing so try to remain consistent about the DV aspects and the concerns you have about your safety and his irrational unstable condition.
Really, it sounds like you have the systems support, which is a wonderful thing.
Document. Stay organized. Stay safe.
Ask your attorney about having your N go through phych evaluation.
It's not appropriate to have the victim of DV evaluated, btw, though it's often the case bc the courts are more interested in placating attorneys than justice.
What does your attorney say about it?
Can you choose the Psychologist yourself? Do you want to make sure you get to choose? Is there a free solution available?
What did the folks at the Shelter advise?
Is it time to phone them with some pointed questions about your defense, the divorce and child custody and visitation issues?
