tHANKS Am: My h is not one to watch tv evangelists. I tune in quite often to many of them just to hear what they have to say, etc. He was surfing and ran across Joel Osteen and it was exactly what he needed to hear. Joel is such a positive guy (almost too much for some people....but that is another topic....) But my h tends to be on the negative side. After years and years and years of being beaten down by his parents he always looks at the glass half empty!! So when Joel O. talked about positive things and my h heard him, it gave me hope!!!
My h didn't drink or smoke until he went to college. He was a very dutiful son. He did exactly what his parents wanted of him. But it was never enough. One time when he was a senior in high school he said to his mom, "It wouldn't matter if I was the President of the Universe, that would not be good enough for you." They didn't help pay for his college - only his poor little sister............SHE has a degree and doesn't work. He couldn't afford college on his own and scraped his way up without a degree. His parents say things like, "I guess it is ok to only be a draftman....." Or "you are not that bad looking of a guy...." Notice the glass half empty mentality???
So he lived with disapproving parents and treated me badly. Projected his hate and anger from his parents onto me and onto his ex wife as well. She had it and left him. She told me he was a raging drunk. He is. But when he is not drinking he is very nice.
I was watching a show on MTV called MADE. They get nerdy people and try to coach them in social skills, diet, dress, appearance so they will not be so nerdy. It is like I need to do this with my H. He really has no communication skills. He is stuck. Almost like his mom never let him talk so he never learned to be a normal, social person. He turned to drink, I think, but over the years what it did for him in a good way was lost and it turns him into a surly, mean person...
