Aloneness

[Ami]

My inner child book says that the deepest "need" and desire is to bridge your aloneness. People will go to all sorts of lengths to avoid facing the existential "condition" that they are alone.
 Heartache was never supposed to be felt---lonliness,pain, suffering(of any kind)--according to the Bible
  All of it is a perversion of what was "supposed " to be for man.Inside us, we want to go back to the way we were made to be----living with love(only), no pain, no torn emotions.
  We seek the way back and never find it while we are on this earth(according to the Bible)
  The sad part is to "keep seeking' it '.Man seems to never want to give up and that is the pain in all of it b/c there is always dissapointment at the end of the line.
   This must  be the 'human" condition--no matter who you are or what your life is like---seeking to find what your original state was meant to be ---love .                                                       Ami
 

[Hopalong]

I think when love breaks your heart wide open and there is nothing you can do about it,
love or the hurt of the world...

and you walk your way back
one step at a time

and after thousands of steps you realize it's beating
strongly

then you carry "alone" with you but it is a friend, like your foot is a friend

you see you cannot be human
without it

[changing]

Hi Ami-

We have been banished from the garden and the daily walks with the Creator, and like children who suffer from a nutritional deficiency obsessively eating paint, we seek to cure our spiritual craving with the wrong things- money, liquor, popularity, drugs, on and on.

We are social animals, and suffer deleterious effects from neglect or banishment. As you say, we go to great lengths to shield ourselves from the knowledge that we are alone and by extension, that we will die while the world goes on.

When babies are born, they know nothing but how to love. Hate and the other things of this world must be taught to them. In that way all babies, even those that some might call deformed or imperfect or those with pain, are actually perfect beings in their original state. If I could only unlearn my earthly lessons!!!

Love,

Changing

[Ami]

THANK YOU Changing- and Hops  .You get it! .                 Love Ami


(((((((((((((Changing, Hops)))))))))))))))

[Ami]

Hops,
  That is a beautiful poem.I used to be able to embrace  aloneness ,as you say. Then,as I got sicker and sicker, I was  like a dying person gasping for air--wanting s/one else's air.
 I had  peace when I accepted my aloneness. I could form deeper bonds with others b/c I "knew" these bonds could  only go so far.
  Gibran says ,"Let there be spaces in your togetherness".
  That was the wisdom that I lost. I wanted to put myself INSIDE my M and me in her. Then,my H, then anyone.
 That was my sickness. There were no 'spaces".
  I am coming out of the dark hole.There are spaces between everyone -children ,parents, spouses, friends.
  The Bible says that you can never "really" know another person's heart.It is between that person  and God.
  My S(younger) won't face his anger and is having emotional problems. I am throwing him a life preserver(truth), but I can't make him catch it
 It would have been so much easier  if my M could have just let me "grow" at the right time, rather than force me to 'tear flesh" to get away from her,as I am doing now.
 However, I found God after being almost completely denuded. It took that and it was a small price to pay when it is all said and done.  Thanks for listening.                      Ami

 

[gratitude28]

Ami,
The way I have handled this knowledge (which pained me for years) is by learning to live day to day and do the best I can each day. If you are focusing on now, and your contributions, it becomes less necessary to live int he "big picture."
Love, Beth

[Ami]

Yes Beth. I think that giving  to and loving other people(without expecting anything back) helps to take the sting out of "aloneness"
  Love comes back on you in a sweet, fresh pure way.                        Love  Ami

[Gabben]

My inner child book says that the deepest "need" and desire is to bridge your aloneness. People will go to all sorts of lengths to avoid facing the existential "condition" that they are alone.
 Heartache was never supposed to be felt---lonliness,pain, suffering(of any kind)--according to the Bible
  All of it is a perversion of what was "supposed " to be for man.

Ami,

This is a really good post. I am quite surprised how really insightful, meaningful posts can get composted by on this board -- just my newbie observation.

I bridge my aloneness with ciggs, or my "Nazi friends."  Now I want to face suffering and aloneness...it is not going to be anything like the pain I had to suffer or survive through as a child or teenager...NO those years are gone -- I survived!!

Last week I heard someone say that we are never really alone because God is always with us. It sounds so cliche and easy. I once had a priest tell me that aloneness is God's calling card. He, God, wants to communicate something to us, He is trying to tell us something. I had not thought of God as needing me (of course He does not need me He just loves me) or wanting to speak to me first without me wanting something or needing Him first...but now I think to myself that God is trying to speak to me and fill my aloneness with his great unfathomable love and way...He wants to tell me something but I am pushing Him out when I reach for "fill."

Lise

[Ami]

Dear Lise,
  With as many supernatural  experiences as I have had, I should be "sure" and not afraid. Really God has touched me so many times .
  Thank you for those words of wisdom and most especially for being my friend.               Love   Ami

[Hopalong]

I think the irrevocable spaces between us can become beautiful.

It can eventually feel right to feel boundaries, to know the limits of our selves.
It's almost comforting, like knowing where is "home"..

...Hops