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Does the N ever receive HER just deserts?

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sonia:
So just remember, everyone feels pain, somewhere, and try not to be too harsh. N´s know what they are and they know what they´re missing and they know that their lives are hell.

Sorry Clueless,

I'm not of the opinion that Ns have that much awareness. Or at least an awareness that they can change. That's what's so frustrating. My NPD sister can acknowledge that she's extremely selfish and self absorbsed, but seems to have no wish to change. If it's that painful, why not at least wish to change? In fact she stubbornly refuses to make any changes except in her appearance which is superficial.

Can anyone else weigh in on this?

Sonia

Portia:
Dear Clueless, you are not an N. I have pity and feel bad for Ns. I don't blame them for their disorders. But you are not an N.

From what I've read, Ns are created in the first two years of life, not at the age of 14. If you were a real NPD person, you wouldn't even 'know' it properly. You don't sound anything like an N. You sound like you have a life ahead of you. And if you want to argue with me, go ahead, you won't hurt me, whatever you say. This is an anonymous message board. So you don't have to worry about hurting anyone who appears to try and get close to you, because we can't. Does that make sense?

Anastasia:
Jaded, you always spit it out just like it is.  Good take on all.
Do Narcissists get theirs?  They are miserable, tortured people, so what do you think?  Who else but someone that feels very, very badly about themselves would have to use their children and significant others as whipping boys?  
Of course, that is little comfort to those of us who were "victims," but that's the way it is.
It is up to each of us to protect our own mental health.  And, once you are an adult, you have to take care of yourself--a narcissist can't and won't help you at all as they are too sick to even help themselves.  Just read this board where there are dozens of examples of that one.

sonia:
From what I've read, Ns are created in the first two years of life, not at the age of 14

Actually I've read that  narcissistic injury can occur up to a much later date - up to the teens. My sister had something that happened to her at 15 that I beleive set her course as an N. And then my Dad got sick and that made it worse. But of course I'm not an expert.

Sonia

Clueless:
Hey Sonia,

Took years for me to even acknowledge that I was selfish. I thought if I gave people everything they wanted that was the same as love. What do they want from me I wondered? I'm nothing special... far from it. I'm good at certain things and the rest is just over sentimental nonsense from their part.

If things go wrong I just blame everything on myself, regardless of what's going on. Either I'm blameless or I'm not. I can't interact properly with people. I want to please, and I want to change, but I'm soooooo defensive it's not funny. People who love me scare me.

Now I know that my behaviour is selfish, but the hatred I feel for myself since breakdown is all consuming.... I think N's want to change, but believe there's no point in trying or something... don't know about your sister, but what I see on the subject is also pretty demoralising for those w. NPD.

Also, lot of stuff happened to me when younger. I have 5 brothers (i'm 5th child, only girl) and my oldest 2 brothers left to go to another country and family when Iwas 4 yrs. old. Best friend died at age 6, next 2 brothers left at age 7, moved house a lot, came to new country at 12, then mum died. What I mean is that I've been  aware of people saying I have no feelings since the age of 14. I do think my mum's death was just the last straw. I do remember crying when I was about 13 cause some kids were mean to me at school, so I did have some feelings until that age. Hope this isn't too confusing!

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