Bone's Story

[BonesMS]

Dear Bones,
I just read more of your story. It is heartbreaking.

I have a question (I am an aggressive advocate for people asking for what they need.) Even though you've been told orthodontia is impossible now, would you consider going to Johns Hopkins Otolaryngology clinic and finding out what they think? Doctors still do some "pro bono" work. I was thinking as I read your story that if a doctor could read that account, and understand why you were never treated as a child, they may be motivated out of compassion (and by the challenge, surgeons do that a lot) to give you the latest corrective treatment without charge. Or, at very reasonable rates.

Major research centers, as I'm sure you know, can be amazing resources for high-end care. And they will often make arrangements for special cases. Someone who was denied care because of child abuse but comes to them as an adult, is a moving opportunity for them to use their skills when they know it will change a life.

And I would want the "nothing can be done" from a place like Johns Hopkins before I accepted it as the final word.

Just a thought for your new year...

love,
Hops

Thanks, Hops.

The orthodontic work of straightening my teeth, as much as possible, has been done.  What the orthodontist could not correct what the birth defect involving my palate.  My palate is very narrow and deep.  The orthodonist told me that it was the closest thing to a cleft palate, without perforation, that he had seen.  As a result of the malformed palate, my speech was badly affected and it also impacted my ability to swallow correctly...making swallowing medication difficult.  Every time I spoke, Nmother would scream at me to "STOP TALKING THROUGH YOUR NOSE!" and slap me.  Whenever I had to swallow any medication, because I also had pneumonia frequently, and the pill would stick in the wrong place, causing me to gag and cough, Nmother would respond with a beating.  The orthodonist told her that I had absolutely no control over my birth defects and their effects on me!  She never apologized.

Bones

[Hopalong]

Hi Bones,
Just FYI stuff:
1) (top age listed is 25 but they have discretion, I'd think...rules made to be bent...might be worth a consultation--you never know! Sometimes when surgeons know they can fix something they just wanna do it.) Also, in my last post I was thinking Maxillofacial Surgery but typed Otolaryngology, oops):

The Johns Hopkins Cleft and Craniofacial Center – CPT, CFT
601 N Caroline St
McElderry 8142D
Baltimore, MD 21287-0981
Phone:410.955.9478
Alt. Phone: 410.955.2136
Fax: 410.955.7060
Email: cvanderk@jhmi.edu
Web: http://www.hopkinscleft.com
Patient Age Range: 0-25
Team Leader(s): Richard J. Redett, MD (Plastic Surgery), Craig A. Vander Kolk, MD (Plastic Surgery)
Other Contacts: Kimberly L. Seifert, BSN, RN (Coordinator/Administrator)

2) http://www.cleftline.org/publications/adults
This includes financial assistance info, too.

xo,
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Bones,
  I can't find your story. Did you take it down?        Ami

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones,
Just FYI stuff:
1) (top age listed is 25 but they have discretion, I'd think...rules made to be bent...might be worth a consultation--you never know! Sometimes when surgeons know they can fix something they just wanna do it.) Also, in my last post I was thinking Maxillofacial Surgery but typed Otolaryngology, oops):

The Johns Hopkins Cleft and Craniofacial Center – CPT, CFT
601 N Caroline St
McElderry 8142D
Baltimore, MD 21287-0981
Phone:410.955.9478
Alt. Phone: 410.955.2136
Fax: 410.955.7060
Email: cvanderk@jhmi.edu
Web: http://www.hopkinscleft.com
Patient Age Range: 0-25
Team Leader(s): Richard J. Redett, MD (Plastic Surgery), Craig A. Vander Kolk, MD (Plastic Surgery)
Other Contacts: Kimberly L. Seifert, BSN, RN (Coordinator/Administrator)

2) http://www.cleftline.org/publications/adults
This includes financial assistance info, too.

xo,
Hops

I'm almost old enough to be in the senior citizen status so the thought of going through that kind of extensive surgery, at my age, is daunting to say the least.

Bones

[BonesMS]

Dear Bones,
  I can't find your story. Did you take it down?        Ami

I didn't take it down.  It's under the title of "Mother is a Narcississtic Rageaholic".

Bones

[Hopalong]

I can surely understand that, Bones.
You...gramma age!

You think young, that's plain.

Hope you're feeling a lot better today.

love
Hops

[BonesMS]

I can surely understand that, Bones.
You...gramma age!

You think young, that's plain.

Hope you're feeling a lot better today.

love
Hops

Thanks, Hops.

Bones

[BonesMS]

I still have the cough even though I have finished up the antibiotics and still taking cough medicine.

Bones

[BonesMS]

I've maxxed out on the number of characters allowed and the memories are still coming.

Here's another memory that just surfaced:

During the Hong Kong Flu Epidemic of 1968-1969, I suddenly became very ill while I was Christmas shopping and went home.  When I walked in the door, Nmother asked me if I was ready to eat dinner.  I told her that I wasn't feeling well and wasn't hungry.  Her response was to start SCREAMING at me that I must have eaten elsewhere without her permission!  She completely ignored the fact that I was on the verge of collapsing.  Within twenty-four hours, it became painfully clear that I had the Hong Kong Flu but there was never an apology.

Bones

[teartracks]

Bones,

I think you are amazing!  And you write good too  :mrsgreen:

Glad you're feeling better

tt

[Ami]

Dear Bones,
 What enabled you to survive ,intact? I am truly speechless at the horror of that woman. My God, Bones. It was HORRIBLE.     Ami

[BonesMS]

Bones,

I think you are amazing!  And you write good too  :mrsgreen:

Glad you're feeling better

tt

Thanks, TT.

Bones

[BonesMS]

Dear Bones,
 What enabled you to survive ,intact? I am truly speechless at the horror of that woman. My God, Bones. It was HORRIBLE.     Ami

At times, I doubt that I'm intact at all.  I feel a deep rage against her years after she's dead and rotting in the depths of you-know-where.

Bones

[BonesMS]

Moved from Members' Stories:

Bones, that lady who lived in the house with you, whom I will not even give the dignity of calling your "mother" or "guardian," .......all I can say is SICK, EVIL, DEMENTED, BEYOND BELIEF!

Personally, when people like that pass away, there is a part of me that is relieved and glad about it.  The Bible talks about how evil men are not grieved, in the book of Proverbs, I believe.  Nobody rejoices when an evil man comes to power.  I sure am not rejoicing to know you were put through so much evil and torment in your life!  YOU DID NOT DESERVE ANY OF IT!

the monster's comment of  "All children are naturally whores so they deserve to be raped!" 

OH DEAR GOD!  There are no words for what that makes me feel inside.  HOW SICK AND EVIL!  Lord have mercy!

Your post touched me deeper than I can say.  My tears came every time yours did in your story, every time you tried to rise up and were knocked down again, every time you were treated like an object and a defective being.

I am so so soooooooooooooooooooo very sorry for you having to endure ANY of those things.  May God reach out with His healing balm and soothe the deepest parts of your heart and being.  Love to you and sincere heartfelt blessings of peace.

~Pastor Laura

Thanks, again, Laura.

Bones

[Ami]

Yes, Bones. I can understand how you would have a deep rage. WHO wouldn't in your situation.? It would take Divine intervention(IMO) in order to heal. That is  how I see it.               Love   Ami

((((((((((Bones))))))))))))