Since the discussion is continuing and now I've been the topic of question as to how I "understood" or "interpreted" things, I have changed my mind about bowing out...as it is my prerogative to do, since A) I'm a woman and it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind (smiles) and B.) Cause I wanna, that's why.
I am going to quote, review, and then come up with comments as to my perception of this whole situation once again. We'll see which direction the sand flies from there. (sand never hurt anyone. it's them ROCKS that hurt!)
Laura said (meaning myself): Ok, it's clear to me now. Janet raised a boundary, Ami respected it, as far as she could tell.
After this, there must have been some busy hospitals around the world, due to all the concussions from the heads being banged on keyboards over my not "getting" it. I'll tell you, if I didn't "get" it, you wouldn't have been the first ones to say so. My children seem to think so too. It's highly likely that I did NOT get it and maybe still don't, so I'm risking it again to give a shot at it. I will be addressing or referring to both Janet and Ami in my post, to hopefully avoid that "ganged up on" feeling that I apparently caused earlier on.
Re-posted about Janet's view:
I decided to set a boundary, and told her that I no longer wanted to hear any details at all of the relattionship she is having. She agreed to respect my boundary....and then in the very next sentence, stomped all over it, by saying 'I respect what you are saying about ****. I just want to ask you WHY you think it is doomed--just your opinion' (and other questions, which I don't want to list here).
Ok, now:
1.) Ami was sharing info about an online affair, in a private message with you, Janet. (I think that part was clear to me, yes?)
2.) Janet asked you, Ami, to not talk to her about the affair you were having. (Is that correct?)
3.) Ami, you agreed to not talk about the affair to Janet, right?
4.) Ami, you happened to then acknowledge that you undertood Janet's boundary, yet right after that, you then asked her opinion as to why the online affair would not work out for you with this other person. (Yeah?)
Then you misrepresented the PM in a public thread.
I think Janet is now saying that you took your feelings about Janet breaking off her friendship with you, and covertly posted about what happened, by letting us know that someone from the board had rejected you, Ami. (right so far?)
Now you are telling Leah what her feelings are.
All the while insisting that you have done nothing wrong....
This is what you say Ami : What I AM saying was Janet set a boundary and I ADHERED to it.
You did not adhere to it. Tell the truth Ami.
And here, it is said that, Ami, you felt you respected Janet's boundary and even told the board that you did, yet this person feels you were projecting feelings onto Leah that were not her own, as well as lying about having respected the boundary, because, even after you said you understood, you just had to have one "last word." (right?)
Ok, this to me, if it had happened as i just perceived and wrote about, is akin to someone being on a phone call, saying they need to hang up now and the other person saying "oh ok, you gotta go...just one more thing" and then proceeding to talk. IS THIS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED HERE maybe? Please both of you, can you look at this situation objectively from the other's viewpoint at ALL? Are you able to walk away and remain separate yet still see each other's way of viewing it?
I'm guessing that Ami saw nothing wrong with asking just one more question. I'm also gathering that, based on maybe Ami's temperament, she may be a Sanguine who loves to just talk and talk or maybe even a Melancholy who has deep feelings and wanted to just keep sharing.
I'm also guessing that possibly, straight-thinking, to-the-point, tell it like it is Janet, when she said NO MORE, she MEANT JUST THAT...END IT, NOT ANOTHER WORD, AMI. I AM DONE TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH THIS TOPIC.
We are all so very different, and yet, by our temperaments there are some noticeable likenesses at the same time.
People fascinate me. Let me know if I "got it" yet or not. I welcome ALL comments.
~Laura
