Interesting thread--I thought at first that it was addressed to, Dr. Grossman and realize now that it is about Dr. Grossman.
Here's my two cents:
1) Just because we are adults, doesnt mean we have a clue how to do what we are trying to do. I think that's the whole point of the forum. If we knew how to have healthy relationships and how to heal from past traumas, we would find this forum boring and irrelevant.
2) The good news is, Dr. Grossman is also an adult and he will probably not be scared off by our petty little skirmishes. I have the sense that he has strong boundaries and if someone asks him for help that he doesnt have time to give, he will probably say so. I don't think he'll shut down the whole board because we are acting as damaged as he already knows we are.
3) A lot of the reason that we are responding to one another on the board as we are, is because we are scared to do it any other way. Somewhere each of us has learned what particular protective wall is the best protection when we are really, really scared and in danger. And, face it, everyone here--in spite of any bravado expressed--is scared at the depth of this conflict. One poster uses sarcasm, one uses humor, one uses condescension, one uses bible verses, and several, I suspect, just run for the hills.
4) We arent really talking to each other anymore--we are talking to our masks. Trust me--N's don't have a corner on that tactic. We all use it. And there is very little real communication going on anymore.
5) I don't think that Dr. Grossman can help us with any of this. He can lock threads, delete threads, slap hands. Those remedies will simply teach to us to fine-tune our masks (if sarcasm locks a thread, we will learn to not use sarcasm as a mask--but we won't take off the mask). Basically the question that's being asked, and the solution that's being proposed, is: what kind of mask is acceptable.
Anyway, that's my thoughts on it.
CB