Thanks for this thread, Axa.
I find forgiveness easy, remembering the part about past and future behavior a lot harder.
It's sometimes as though I'm emotionally senile.
With my brother, I do forgive but he keeps repeating the same offense. Pure N.
Sly indimidation, invasion. He's not punching me under the stairs any more, but jeez,
I do not forget my childhood. I'm afraid it's marked our relationship for life and I will never trust him.
While we lived separate adult lives, both out of the nest, I began to forget and so forth. But
being in the actual building where all the memories are, and his current behavior, brings it back.
In honesty, I'd like him to forget I exist, and once Mom's gone and the stuff settled,
I likely won't want anything to do with him. He's zeroing in now but he'll likely vanish
after that. I have compassion for him. But I finally developed some for myself.
I am all for forgiveness for the sake of the one forgiving and because I want it too.
I guess I believe that if you're strong enough to forgive, then you should also be strong
enough to do it wisely, and discern when it can include reconciliation and when it should
mean contining to protect yourself with firm boundaries.
I don't think there's any danger in forgiving when there's a balance of self-love.
It's when all the membrane around your sense of self ruptures in the act of forgiveness,
and you not only turn the other cheek but offer them your own dagger to stab you with...
that's not so good.
Oy.
Hops
