Manipulation is dishonesty- I guess we all do it.
But, as a few of you have pointed out, it depends on the extent and damage done.
After I confronted my wife about her possible involvement with another man, our relationship was obviously stressed. But I wanted to believe her.
I came home early from summer vacation because I had to work- she stayed there with son for another month. One day I got the most beautiful, romantic card from her-
She told me how much she really loved me, how much she wanted to be my wife.... on and on. I kept that card on my dresser for months and re-read it every night
I came to find out when she came back from vacation, she went right back to seeing the other man- and she just wanted to keep me "hooked in" for economic purposes
and didn't want me to move out (which we had discussed at one point). The love card was a manipulation. I felt sooooo humiliated.
I guess my frusatration is/ was that when I would tell these things to people they wouldn't believe me. Counselors believed her. And because I am a man, I must be the one who is being abusive (that is the message I feel I get)
My wife is/ was so manipulative it was beyond most people's belief. I ended up with PTSD myself - but I'm a guy and I think people would laugh at that. I was told by one counselor after I said my wife had pushed me and blocked my way out of the room-- "Oh, a big guy like you is afraid of a little woman?" THAT's NOT THE POINT-
Yes, I could have thrown her across the room- and gotten a DV charge against me- but the stress was overwhelming.
I had all of the symptoms of PTSD - thanks for listing those. The funny thing is I can't find a counselor who will believe me- I was told again "you know, you could have been imagining that."
I know this is going to sound harsh- but it's true to a certain extent- if I were a woman, most people would believe me right away- I would find help easily.
I feel so angry- I still feel "voiceless."