Hummm, I think that everyone giving you the advise to do yourself a favor and stay away are right. Thats definately good advise and probably would be for the best. But, I also know that sometimes we are stuck, out of obligation, or habit, or circumstances, or whatever, which require we continue to deal with our N. My thoughts are he has no legal grounds for anything but that does not mean they dont or won't use or (abuse) the legal system to annoy you. Depending on where you live recording the conversation may very well be illegal. But I would not actually take any legal actions (except restraining actions if your physically threatened). Threatening legal action right back at him could be effective in making them see how silly they are behaving. Sometimes going down to their level and "mirroring" their behavior is the only way to get their attention. However, in general conversation, you should remain completely calm and indifferent. Don't use the adjectives that you are really thinking. Your just feeding them. If your that upset about it they are still winning. You are still supply for them. I've been practicing refusing to acknowledge anything not presented in a pleasant way and not reacting at all to the things my N does to annoy me. It is hard but the results have been real encouraging. He speaks to me more respectfully (because he has to in order to get a response, I refuse to acknowledge him if he don't) and he seems really confused and shocked by his inability to make me respond with emotion. I find this confused predicament quite amusing, not only do I finally feel as though I'm actually gaining ground, he is on the defensive for a change. And, as a result he his trying new things like being nice and helpful, in his desperate attempts for supply. I aint buying it for a minute it, but I do give some praise to the good behavior, so hopefully he'll keep it up until I get out. My primary advise is accept that you can not change them, they are never going to get it. But you can change your behavior. You can change how you respond to the things they do. And you can refuse to let them treat you disrepectfully, in a nice-matter of fact -nonemotional way. (Feel all the emotions you have - just don't express them to them - be completely indifferent to them.) Try it - you may be surprised. I certianly was.
