re: "Why are people so upset by labels?"

[Ami]

Yes, I was just thinking about Milgrim, too.                                      Ami

[Gaining Strength]

Gosh Really Me, just wondering - are you th only one here who has this "right judgment" and how does one develop this?  Once you have it does it ever go away or is it something that stays with you always? And how did you realize that you had received "right judgment"?

[Leah]

May I share, from my own life experience, and also, from a few other people, who have affirmed my thinking here in REAL life.

When an innocent "Injured" party has lived a childhood, then an adult life, of emotional torture and torment, by one's own birth mother:

Trying to talk about one's experience and explain to someone who lacks an awareness and knowledge of someone with a personality disorder is fruitless:

Worse still a label is then inevitably, automatically, applied as considered, as a natural progression to the child, out of sheer ignorance.

Labels by lay people, untrained, unqualified, are disrespectful and disregarding, to the integrity of a person, as a whole human being.

Labels hurt, labels harm, for they deter healthy healing and recovery.   Labels therefore, are destructive.

Labels are usually based on Assumptions and Presumptions -- from unqualified people.

This is my own personal view, from my own personal life journey experience, and discussions with people in REAL life.

Sincerely, Leah

[reallyME]

GS, the Bible speaks for itself to answer your question.
All God's children have right judgement when they look to Him

[mudpuppy]

The Bible doesn't say NOT to judge.  It says, judge with a right judgement.  I feel that is what I do on this board...and not generally aiming toward people but at situations.  Yes?

Sometimes yes and sometimes no.
God gives us discernment but it is often clouded by our nature. Allowing for that possibility can greatly reduce pointless and unintended offenses toward others.

mud

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi ReallyME,

You asked for help from me on the thread on which the current thread is based.  I’ve tried to help with my prior posts.  In the context of what I’ve written I also must add:  in my opinion your judgment/labeling of CB was wrong and injurious, and she has good reason to be angry about it.  I hope you will consider my thoughts.

Best,

Richard

[reallyME]

CB is very much like someone who wounded me a lot in the past.  Although I realize she is not that person, her postings are exactly the same.  For the most part, I steer clear of CB, however, when one poster was feeling that I was attacking her, I felt it best for me to PRIVATELY ask CB IF she wanted to reveal herself, which she ended up choosing to do, WHILE throwing a DIG at me (if you noticed, Dr G)...saying, not:

"Yes, Laura based her post on my situation with court."  but instead, she had to tell her "I'm the one Laura based her post on.  It wasn't YOU but me she was AIMING AT."

When, as I said REPEATEDLY Dr G.  I was not AIMING at anyone, or do YOU also believe that my question was put out to the board to ATTACK CB specifically?

This, I'd like to know.  I can apologize for something that I did wrong, but I'm not sure I am going to apologize for not appreciating a false insinuation about my motive for posting a question that CB's post merely brought back to mind and was NOT directed AT her.

[reallyME]

I am well within my rights to respond to Dr Grossman about what he addressed with me, thank you very much.

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi ReallyME,

These are quotes from your initial post:

“I read something by someone today on this group, that was a definite sign of BPD.”

“In this case, the person was referring to painting people black in order to justify deserting them...that is BPD and maybe even NPD…”

It came out that you were referring to CB.  (Many board members knew whom you were referring to before CB posted.)   You were wrong about CB, and your post was injurious to her.  If I were her I would be angry and would expect an apology and a sincere admission of your error.

Richard

[reallyME]

Ok, I have a sincere question for you, Dr G.

  I realize you are a therapist, but are you hers?  Since she, like many on your group, have been severely abused, do you actually know everyone's medical/psychological history on here?

Suppose there are narcissists on your group and someone did point this out, as I've seen on here in the past that I'm not the only one who does so, do the people who "saw the elephant and called it one, owe the elephant an apology as well?"

Please let me know.

[mudpuppy]

do the people who "saw the elephant and called it one, owe the elephant an apology as well?"

  If only one person out of a large group thought they saw an elephant perhaps the problem is with that one person's perception in that particular case rather than everyone else's.
  Are you really certain you had enough info to accuse someone of having one or more personality disorders? If yes then you must have information no one else here has. If no then you shouldn't have made the accusation.

mud

[mudpuppy]

The bible isn't a very good social behavior manual.

I think it's the best there is, when people actually do what is says.

mud

[Gabben]

sigh. The bible isn't a very good social behavior manual. Times and customs changed quite a bit in 2000+ years.

Hi (((Amber)))

I used to feel the same way about the bible but then I started to study it along with some prayer, open-mindedness and a little desperation . Now I have to agree with mud.

Gabben

[reallyME]

Phoenix, I'm not real sure you want me to go there.  There are scriptures talking of public rebuke for sure.  I think I'll leave that to others to share however.

[reallyME]

I disagree