Yes, I have read Dr. Grossman's article on this subject; but, I still am not convinced. I think that some of the milder cases of Nparents might love their children to the best of their ability--which may be far less than the norm--IF their narcissism isn't very extreme.
But a classic Narcisist, I believe from my own observation, just does not have the ability to love anything much UNLESS the person takes care of THEM. If THEY are the one being taken care of, they seem to be able to give some love to the caretaker. But if they, the Nparent, is to love someone they take care of, it doesn't seem they have any ability to love that person as they see them simply as a burden that takes away from their time on themselves. It is all me, me, me to the narcissist, anyway.
Oh, yes, they want their children to adore them, to worship them, to listen and idolize them, the Nparent. But do they really have the ability to love back? I don't think so, myself.
Maybe this is based on the classic Nmother I had, myself, but, after observing another Nparent in my family (a female cousin), I don't believe they really have any ability to love or care much at all. I think that they can fake it for the outside world is all.
Now if the Nparent is caretaking an animal, they seem to have the ability to love. Why? Well, an animal will adore who feeds it. An animal you don't have to get intimate with. An animal can't talk back. And the Nparent gets what they want most from an animal: adoration, worship, love.
I really do not believe a truly classic Narcissistic parent is capable of loving their children or anything that doesn't simply worship and adore them totally. I understand that this flies completely opposite of what Dr. Grossman has written, but I really have to challenge this theory on this one issue.
Opinions?