Author Topic: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?  (Read 1574 times)

Ami

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7820
I know this is a question we talk about all the time. I know I am not an N, Thank Goodness,b/c I can consider others and  put myself in their place.I am not "clueless" to othe people's feelings.
 I can see HOW my actions can affect another person.
 I am trying to see the difference between my M and me.
 I am trying to see where SHE stopped growing and I did not.
  I am a LV(little voice), too filled with shame and self doubt.
  However, I wonder how to go from LV to normal.
  Do I have to face the shame and see that it is BS and that I am the SAME as any other human being?
 Do I have to face the self doubt and say I am as capable of  figuring  out life, as any other person?
 I wonder about the mechanism to go from LV to normal?
 I hope this makes some sense.I would like to hear people's opinions, if you care to.        Ami
« Last Edit: April 11, 2008, 05:25:45 PM by Ami »
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Gaining Strength

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3992
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2008, 07:19:52 PM »
I don't have an answer to your topic question but I think that you are going about the process of changing your LV to a true voice.  You have a voice now but you are so used to not having one that you haven't recognized it yet. 

dandylife

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 491
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2008, 07:45:19 PM »
Ami,
Sometimes it takes me a HUGE LONG TIME to recognize WHAT I need to have a strong voice on. I consider myself a Process Person (it takes me time to process events). Sometimes, days later a DING! will go off in my head and I'll just KNOW something that wasn't clear to me until then.

Let yourself be a process person. It's (almost) never too late to speak up.

Dandylife
"All things not at peace will cry out." Han Yun

"He who angers you conquers you." - Elizabeth Kenny

Overcomer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2666
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2008, 08:57:20 PM »
And then you have relapses!  just when you think you are getting somewhere your mom throws some guilt on you or something like that.  I just called my dad and complained for a half hour.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

LilyCat

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 305
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2008, 01:56:36 PM »
Ami,

You gave me such a lovely note of welcome yesterday, perhaps I can return your kindness and suggest what I know.

If you're a little voice (as I am), the way to gain a voice is, quite literally, to speak up.

And, to say "Ouch" when someone hurts you.

Those are the root of the process. And it is that simple ... and yet it is also enormously complex, because I, at least, had to feel entitled to my feelings AND entitled to speak, and believe that I had something worth saying, before I could ever speak up. Here's another piece of the process: the more you speak up, the more entitled to your feelings you become, and the better you become at speaking up ... and the more entitled you feel ... and the better you become at speaking, etc.

For me, not only individual therapy was the answer but so was group therapy. Group is the best thing I have ever done for myself.

And I'll share this with you -- I was so quiet, and so shy, and so convinced I was worthless and had nothing to add, and it was physically and emotionally SOOOOO hard for me to speak, that when I first got to group (UGH!!! 20 years ago) my therapist told me to just open my mouth, or maybe even open my mouth and make any kind of sound, and he would know that I wanted to speak.

What a guy.

Although I did do that, and I did say things, in a sense, it also took four years before I really started talking in group ... talking about anything significant. It was particularly a great challenge during those years because the people who were already in group were a highly vocal bunch, and all very intelligent and honest. To this day, they are among the people I most admire and respect.

So my suggestion is -- start by opening your mouth. It doesn't even matter what kind of sound you make. Just make one.

Godspeed on your journey.

LilyCat

Ami

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7820
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2008, 04:37:15 PM »
Dear LilyCat,
 Thank you for your wisdom. I have been practicing my voice, so I guess it will just take time to be comfortable with trusting myself.                        Love  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Ami

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7820
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2008, 04:39:20 PM »
Dear Amber, Thank you so much for your words. My M tried to convince me I was abnormal and claiming that I am normal has been the hardest part. Thanks again, Amber        Ami 
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

LilyCat

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 305
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2008, 05:02:27 PM »
Ami,

Trusting yourself is one of the most important, if not the most important thing we can do ... not trusting ourselves can get us into a lot of predicaments. It's an essential part of finding your voice.

I should know. My therapist just told me last week something about not trusting myself, I'm trying to think what it was. Can't remember, if I do, I'll let you know. I think it might have had something to do with dating.

You know, you are just so darling. I really enjoy your posts.

Ami

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7820
Re: What is the difference between and N , LV and a normal person?
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2008, 10:57:44 PM »
Thank you, LilyCat, for those sweet words. They mean so much to me.
 The worst thing my NM did was make me throw away my  inner compass. Then, I went down, like a ship w/out a captain.
  I want to get my trust in myself back, so badly. I feel like I will be 'normal", then.
              Love   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung