Ways to Combat Stress

[Overcomer]

I was reading Gaining Strengths thread about being more postive - it made me recall a conversation with my Doctor.  She told me I had a larger than usual aura.......in other words, I have the ability to hurt people......with my negative energy.

I realize that over the years the stress of working with my Nmom have compounded to the point that I am sick - plain and simple - sick.  My back aches, I have horrible PMS, I am overweight, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. etc.

So basically, I am kiiling myself.  I have periodic episodes of emotional explosions...I am not happy.

So I googled Stress can kill you and got lots of information....

The number one way to deal with this is to remove myself from work - I am working on that right now.

Second, take a look at this marriage.  Is it what I really want in the long run???

Can anyone else add to this list?  What are good stress reducers???

[Hopalong]

Kelly, I'm so glad, impressed, pleased that you're doing this.
This is reality, and it's your precious life and serenity and sanity at stake.

Clutter.
Stuff.
Ownership.

I believe living more simply, less hooked in to the consumerism, is a huge stress-reliever.
There's a terrific book called Voluntary Simplicity, you could look for. And it's a question of degree.
No judging, just gentle questions that really help us look at CONSUMING.

What's it doing to us?
Secondarily to getting away from your Mom/work, and evaluating your marriage,
this could be a good direction to explore.

love
Hops

[Overcomer]

Thanks Hops-although I have to say I am not much of a consumer.  I do not buy myself clothes or other nice things.  I spend most of my $ on gas!  Still good ideas to consider.  If I make the decision that my marriage is a sham then I may be forced into downsizing.  I think I will head over to the health store and get some more vitamin d and some iron.

[Ami]

I think that our emotional "lies" cause us the most stress.  For example, I am seeing  the need for boundaries. I have been VERY stressed b/c I could not set a boundary well. I could not recieve other's boundaries well, either.
The  larger lesson is that I am worth having a boundary.
These two concepts alone will help  alleviate stress  tremendously.
 The lies and distortions cause so much stress.
That is my current thinking, Kelly.
You are going forward on the right track. I know many people in your life need you and value you. They need you to be the best you can be ,so you can be there for them ,and yourself.
 There are certain lessons that we must learn ,as adults, when we had an NM, I think.
 We have to be in 'Life 101"  b/c most of what we learned was lies.
 I was just thinking about one  lessons from my M.
 She taught me that there WERE perfect people . I think she still believes it. * I *was failing,of course, was "worthless" and could be put down b/c I deserved it.I was not perfect, so I was worthless. .
 How silly was that idea, about "perfect people" and my own worthlessness.
 These are the distortions  that cause tremendous stress, for me.    Love    Ami

[Overcomer]

My stress has similar roots.  In my business my mom expects us to pretend that everything is ok.  She does not know how to set boundaries so she does not say no to sales reps or customers etc.  I used to be this way but have learned boundaries.  But now this mom that knows no boundaries cannot accept my boundaries-I feel violated by her.  My stress is that I am forced to live a lie.  My aunt embraces the lie-the lie is that my mom can save the day.  I have come to the conclusion God is my source

[Leah]

Kelly,

Here's something completely practical: excercise. Excerise is the biggest stress-buster for me. It also helps with depression, anxiety, and some of my chronic pain. Even a brisk walk helps.

Exercise certainly makes a huge difference, walking ... in the fresh air is brilliant, and it's absolutely free!  Added bonus - dropping down 2 sizes! 

Exercise is great for ones skin too.

Love, Leah

[Overcomer]

It is amazing.  My mom and daughter and son in law went to Minneapolis to IKEA to buy stuff for their new home.  My mom and I get along fine.  Boy, but you get me at work and my body tightens up>  I am gonna try the other stuff.

[lighter]

Vitamin B12 for stress.

Lots of water.

Excersize helps a lot.

Lighter

[Izzy_*now*]

Dear OC

My mom and I get along fine.

Confusiing! I thought she was problem! Isn't she an  N?

[Overcomer]

We get along outside of work.  She used to control my everything but I set personal boundaries in 2002......it's work that has me over the top stressed and angry.  I have always tried to compartmentalize my life...

[gjazz]

Ditto these things: exercise (number 1!), vitamins, water, breathing exercises and yoga or meditation, absolutely no substances like alcohol, no junk food, plenty of sleep.  Taking care of yourself like you would anyone else you love.

[Overcomer]

Lighter-what is the thing with B12?

[lighter]

As I understand it.... vitamin B12 helps combat stress.

Not sure what it actually does for us but.... I take it when things get really tough.

Not to mention..... that extra glass of water I drink with.... prolly helps too.

Lighter


 





 

[Overcomer]

Ok!

[debkor]

Light,

When I was really sick one time and very run down they also gave me a Vitamin B shot along with antibiotic's and it made me feel so much better the very next day as far a fatigue.

Love
Deb