This is the E mail I got

[Ami]

since the  interaction
until I saw it in technicolor, here
I could not see her ,like I did this one, which was obvious.

THREE little jabs.
I'm sorry your tummy aches. but you will just have to get over it. Pepto bismal, Exlax, Castor Oil? whatever!

I am not even thinking about the ones who descended upon me and there was more than one. I certainly have never been that omportant to you.Ami.

I've notived little jabs ever since. No one else mentioned them and you stopped. Now you have started again.

If I am out ofg hand here, wrong, then please excuse me and so be it!

The interaction on the board was you and me, not the whole world Get over yourself!

I am now going in search of oll the other jabs and will post them when you run crying to the board and Dr. G.

[Izzy_*now*]

It was a PM, Ami, and I see you have run to the board.
Yep there were all these little jabs.....
Now Just leave me alone!
Izzy

My recent interaction showed my life, in microcosm.

Look at my recent interaction. WAS it MY fault? Case closed

I have been healing ,from board events

I really feel "new" after the interaction.

The recent interaction showed us that

I have been really hurting for 4 days

My stomach started hurting me with all that was going on, on the board.

If I am pricked, I will push back.

[Ami]

You are so sick that it is not even funny.

[Izzy_*now*]

Be careful of your thoughts,
For thoughts become your words.

Be careful of your words,
For your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions,
For your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits,
For your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character,
For your character becomes your destiny.

[Gaining Strength]

Now Just leave me alone!

Izzy.  Look at what you are doing and saying.  You are telling Ami to leave you alone and yet it is you who have sent her this PM.  That really does not make sense. 

In Ami's posts, she is talking about herself.  But you are taking umbrage to that. 

It does not make sense to lash out at Ami and then tell her to leave you alone.

[Izzy_*now*]

Calm down GS, for Heaven's Sake!!

[Ami]

I was sent this threatening  e mail, out of the blue. When Izzy did her original " lashing out" on me, I spoke up and THEN asked her to stay on the board b/c the board was important to her life.
 This unsolicited e mail is pure abuse. The original assult was pure abuse ,too, but I tried to be the bigger person. There is just SO much abuse one person can take and I have reached mine. I feel badly for Izzy,but does that mean someone needs to take this ?                    Ami

[Hopalong]

I feel badly for Izzy,but does that mean someone needs to take this ?

No, you don't need to, imho, Ami.

My advice is simply to block PMs from Izzy.
That's the best thing.

Then any conflict or communication is open. You can also ask Izzy not to address you on the board.

There is a member who decided not to engage me at all after she repeatedly became angry at me, and though at first I felt hurt, I now think it was a wise solution. We just don't talk but we don't interfere with the flow of the board, either.

Hops

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 It may look like I put this on the board to be self serving and "interfere" with the flow of the board,but,in fact THIS is what the board is all about. This is a better lesson of our problems with voiclessness than  thousands of words(IMO)
 This situation has it all, about voicelessness.
 This situation can take s/one from voiceless to having  voice,IF they can understand it.   Ami
 

[Hopalong]

Ami, I wasn't accusing you of interfering with the flow of the board...not at all.
It was just my thought about what resulted with me and another person.

I do think when things feel painful or aggressive or out of control, blocking PMs is an important first step. You could do that...

You can discuss anything you want on the board, unless it's at the point when disengaging from a certain person seems wise. Some personality clashes really aren't solvable, imo...some people are oil and water. (I used to never believe that, but I do.)

Just thoughts, compost anything...

Hops 
PS--I think I'm suggesting this approach because I don't think you and Izzy will ever be friends, so why not set boundaries in place that keep you from hurting each other? Tolerance is necessary in a place like this and when somebody simply can't tolerate another or refrain from lashing out at them, in my view it's time for walls.

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 You are missing my point, with all due respect.
  I had a terrible loss. Izzy saw me as vulnerable and MY vulnerability caused her to attack me, for NO reason, other than her OWN sickness. THAT is HOW we  GOT abused in the first place.
 This is not a personality clash This is an abusive person thinking s/one is vulnerable and attacking. Period.          Ami
 

[Gaining Strength]

I see why you reject the language "personality clash".  It seems to take away the point that you are making that you were minding your own business, posting about your struggles and reaction to an earlier conflict when you received the PM from Izzy attacking you.

A "personality clash" is a very passive term suggesting that something just happens, but you don't percieve this PM as passive but received it as an active pursuit.  Is that close?

[Ami]

Yes ,GS, a personality conflict is two people who rub each other the wrong way. Abuse is one person attacking another person as  a WAY to manage their own emotions and BLAME it on the other person.
 This is why we are voiceless. It is important to call things what they are b/c truth heals.      Love   Ami

[Leah]

I was not online to witness the recent aforementioned 'interaction' - so in that regard, bearing in mind that postings have been deleted, I am in no position to make any fair and reasonable comment.

With regard to Ami's thread entitled "Lessons" and this thread "This is the E mail I got"

I simply don't see a personality clash,  Izzy had not engaged with Ami on her thread "Lessons," and I have looked through the "Lessons" thread and can't see any ''jabs' 


This is how I see the situation ...

Ami created her thread "Lessons" and simply posted what she was working through, with her voice, her personal life experience(s).

Izzy decided to create, write, and post the PM to Ami -- for reasons known only to Izzy, and that is the sole responsibility of Izzy, who is personally accountable for her own thoughts, words, and actions. 

As we all are, as individual persons with a free will and choice.


Ami received and read the PM from Izzy and decided to 'voice' her own thoughts, and feelings, with words, by creating a thread posting, this one.  Which is her basic human right to do, and of course, she is personally accountable for doing so.


Personally, I have not blocked anyone in the land of PM.   Why?  Because, I prefer to encourage people to BE personally responsible and accountable for their own thoughts, words, and actions.   Rather than, enabling and/or caretaking.


Personally, here on the board, I have had several hurtful, painful, and upsetting experiences, of which, after all, is part of life, and living a life, equipped -- not coddled.


Leah x

[James]

Ami..........My father abused me when i was young and vulnerable....at his mercy. The only reason he did this was to fend off his own feelings of vulnerability/hurt as mine triggered the unconcious pain he experienced as a child while at the mercy of his parents. No doubt he felt powerful/justified for a moment but it was repeated over and over because he never was honest enough to face his own pain and understand what he was doing. I became the symbolic scapegoat until i found my voice and put a stop to this. It wasn't pretty but it worked.........James