To Prevent Sinking

[Ami]

I think the N's ARE afraid of us, especially, if we see the truth. The truth is to the N what the cross is to Dracula(IMO)    Ami

[Leah]

I think the N's ARE afraid of us, especially, if we see the truth. The truth is to the N what the cross is to Dracula(IMO)    Ami

((((( Ami )))))

Yes!  So true, for Dark does not like Light!

Love, Leah

[sKePTiKal]

Ami - how wonderful!! You're beginning to claim your "I" - the chooser, the decider of who and what you are!

It starts to get easier now. Not that there won't be more tough things to re-feel, or get through... but it does get easier. And the stomach ache will start to go away, as you learn by experience, that you don't have to fear the same "punishment" from others, that you received from your "mother".

Hops might be on to something about your mom being afraid of you. I noticed in my work today, that my mother feared me remembering the truth and having my feelings back... I think, because she wouldn't be able to weasel out of being responsible; would lose her false image of herself and because I would refuse or not be able to parent her, in the face of my own needs for a real mom.

[Ami]

Thank you, Amber.       Ami

[Ami]

There is real grief when you had to cast yourself aside. It IS a death ,in many ways, just as you have grief for an actual death.
 When you throw yourself overboard , there  IS  a grief for what you lost,your trust and connection with your own being, your own psyche. Of course, you would be sad. It was a horrible thing to be forced to do, so your body has the grief attached to the loss of yourself.
      Ami
 

[James]

I don't necessarily think N are afraid of us. I DO think they are still afraid of their parents and take out on us their unconscious hatred which they could never do towards the cruel parent. Instead they chose someone more helpless to act this out on, very often their helpless children. Eventhough, they were victims initially, they have the freedom of choice to change this behavior and IMO I hold them accountable now and then........James

[Overcomer]

I think my mom does not know what she is going to get with me so she is apprehensive.  I really am unpredictable-some things trigger me and the rage boils over.

[Ami]

I feel better,today, a little more "present", a little more centered. I have decided that I must explore "inner space" before anything outside . The outside will mirror the inside.
 I will replay my unconscious  needs,on the outside situations if I don't face them and I am ready to.
 I am reading Jean Jenson's book, Reclaiming your Life". It is amazing HOW much we replay the  unconscious . It is uncanny .
 I am commited to being aware of myself. Replaying the unconscious   feels like it IS a present issue . If both partners, in a relationship could become aware of their own patterns, the relationship would become closer .
 The patterns are there, anyway.
  You can either be aware of them or push them away and they will replay, forever.
  Can anyone relate to this?       Ami