I miss my mom

[littlejo]

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[Changes]

Hi  LittleJo-

Sorry about the pain and isolation that you are feeling-it's so hard to go on at times, when one sees the support and well-being that "everyone else" receives through family, while it feels as if you are the odd person out (I have been there as well, and I know that it can seem overwhelming). Its almost like the wonderful director that you speak of is an important surrogate "granny" in your family, and now she is leaving you alone, stirring up feelings...

You are an awesome person to build your own family with an eye to the future and the important things in life, doing what is right and good- yet there is a child in all of us, yearning for that stable parental-style love. Holidays, major life changes, etc can be bumpy without a family structure but time is a wonderful teacher and healer. Add a beautiful husband and 2 priceless children, and you have the makings of an awesome family, built upon love and support for one another.

Best From Your Friend,

Changes

P.S. Congratulations on your son's graduation form preschool- it sounds adorable!

[Ami]

Dear Littlejo,
 I understand. . I know the pain, despair, guilt, hopes, and  lonliness . It is horrible.  You did not deserve a M like that. It is a raw, raw deal.
 You are NOT alone, Littlejo.
  I know what you are going through and how desperate it all feels.
 Keep writing ,Little jo. Keep reaching out. My heart is with you.   Love   Ami

[sKePTiKal]

Little Jo:

it's not your fault that she is the way she is, even if you are responsible for your half of the relationship... your feelings about it.
One of the hardest things to accept, is that you are not powerful enough to "fix" her, to make your one grain of sand of hope come true without her participation. If she needs medication & therapy - she also is 50% responsible for the way things are. And only SHE can decide to seek & receive help - "fixing".

And yeah, that feels absolutely awful... but no matter WHAT you do, how much you HOPE, how much LOVE you've got - she can only be "fixed" if she willingly participates in the process. It's as if she has a physical illness, and refuses to go to the doctor. You can't control her.

[Hopalong]

Abandon hope, LJ...
it's so hard to do but so so freeing.

Then you can set about creating your own family. Chosen friends, precious people from church or neighborhood whom you can see, share meals and gardens with, worship with...just cultivate them.

Ultimately, most of us spend so many more hours with chosen families than we do with biofamilies anyway, but it's hard to just make the mental shift to: This is my community. This is where I feel "home."

You are young, you have so much opportunity to build a community of caring to raise your children in.

I always call my church my extended family. It used to be a notion, but now it is completely real.

Love and comfort,
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 I am starting to see what you mean about having precious friends, as our "new" family. As I give "up" my M, I embrace people whom  I  can love, and who can love me.          Hugs,   Ami