Author Topic: Detachment... in practice vs theory (Read 4171 times)

lighter · « **on:** July 01, 2008, 12:42:13 AM »

I cannot explain how much difference it makes in my life....

when I'm mindful to pull back and view situations from a distance.
(remember the helmet, Lupita)

Sometimes, I can't.

Sometimes, I can.

My life's better when I can.

I don't think it's possible to pull back if we hold expectations, imbibed with life threatening importance.

THAT seems to be the driving force behind a certain sense of emergency and despair, that sometimes sidles up like a spider, and ruins one's day.

If I pull back..... view all possible outcomes from a distance and mull them over..... not set my heart on any one outcome......

the stress dissipates.

I'm going to try to distance, detach and mull....

BEFORE the stress sets in.

I receive clarity of thought for my efforts so.... I'll keep working at it.

Lighter

changing · « **Reply #1 on:** July 01, 2008, 10:09:25 PM »

Hi Lighter-

You are mindful and powerful!!! When I am going off the rails Our Izzy is a big help to me in setting me straight and getting on with whatever I need to focus on. She is a treasure, and so are you!!!

Love,

C.

teartracks · « **Reply #2 on:** July 02, 2008, 01:20:50 AM »

Hi lighter,

If I pull back..... view all possible outcomes from a distance and mull them over..... not set my heart on any one outcome......

lighter, I think part of viewing all possible outcomes from a distance is key. Getting into the zone, as Caesar Milan says, is the hard part. I guess a lot of getting there revolves around mindfulness and taking every thought captive.

These are the times when I find it invaluable to go into 'search mode' within myself and ask, where my rehabilitation is concerned, do I really have to do anything about anything or for anyone in this moment, this hour, this day? That gets me in the zone as Caesar would say. It is surprising how often the answer is no. This releases me to rest in the new arena where I am the only one I have to be concerned about or answer to. It amazes me how refreshing it is to dwell there however briefly.

lighter, I know you have the children who make demands all the time. I know you have to see to their needs. What I'm saying above speaks to the methods we can use to shift from coping with our wounds to living above and beyond our wounds. I hope I'm making sense.

tt

Izzy_*now* · « **Reply #3 on:** July 02, 2008, 01:41:19 AM »

hi lighter

Detachment is a wonderful tool for calming oneself. I was happy when I finally understood 'detachment'.

Pulling back and looking and thinking and determining from a distance appears to be a safer mode.

I am glad to hear this:

Quote

I'm going to try to distance, detach and mull....

BEFORE the stress sets in.

I receive clarity of thought for my efforts so...

Love
Izzy

Certain Hope · « **Reply #4 on:** July 02, 2008, 10:22:34 AM »

Teartracks,

Quote

These are the times when I find it invaluable to go into 'search mode' within myself and ask, where my rehabilitation is concerned, do I really have to do anything about anything or for anyone in this moment, this hour, this day? That gets me in the zone as Caesar would say. It is surprising how often the answer is no. This releases me to rest in the new arena where I am the only one I have to be concerned about or answer to. It amazes me how refreshing it is to dwell there however briefly.

This makes a world of sense to me. It's about becoming... un embroiled, un entangled, un distracted, and fully complete, even when shifted into neutral.
Thank you.

Lighter,

Still praying.

Love,
Carolyn

Lupita · « **Reply #5 on:** July 02, 2008, 03:51:40 PM »

hold expectations, imbibed with life threatening importance

sense of importance, ego, to think that we need what we do not have, detachment, the opposite of attachment. Not to take anything personal, not to suffer, suffering is an option.

Enjoy the present and detach from the result, having a healthy competition without being obligated to want to win. Just the fun of competing, to challenge one self. Detachment from the result.

Lighter, very nice thread.

How are you?

Lupita · « **Reply #6 on:** July 03, 2008, 12:27:10 PM »

I am praying for you. The Lord will give you the strenght you need to cope and endure the outside forces. But a strong effort cannot be sustained for long periods of time. I will pray ofr you to be successful in keeping that distance form those outside forces.

My heart goes out to you.

debkor · « **Reply #7 on:** July 03, 2008, 03:08:12 PM »

Hey Light,

The one thing I had found is just when you really need people the most... some detach from you/your problems....I guess some have to do this to get by emotionally....and then you have to try to detach from their detaching.... sometimes they still love you... it's just to big for people to handle.... I had a hard time understanding this...back then...and yes I also had to detach from them and my hurt because it just gets so big.. that no one knows what to do with things.....it does not mean that people don't care about you....

I care about you.. I understand.. and I won't detach....

Love
Deb

cats paw · « **Reply #8 on:** July 03, 2008, 06:29:04 PM »

Lighter,

I hold hope everything you're learning and practicing now will be what you will be able to call upon when those obligatory
challenges come to fore.

cats paw

lighter · « **Reply #9 on:** July 03, 2008, 06:47:38 PM »

Quote from: debkor on July 03, 2008, 03:08:12 PM

Hey Light,
I care about you.. I understand.. and I won't detach....

Love
Deb

Thank you, ((((deb...))))

You're an Amazon of the first order.

(((Lupita....))) thanks thanks thanks for the prayers. I'm being very mindful about controlling my imagination and keeping my head where my feet are. Not getting too far ahead of myself..... one day at time.

(((catspaw))) Thanks for the kind words..... I'm hopeful too.

Lighter

Sela · « **Reply #10 on:** July 03, 2008, 08:52:42 PM »

Hi Lighter,

It sounds like you're going through a tough time and I just wanted to say ....

this won't last forever (my version of the old cliche...this too shall pass).

Quote

I have to embrace what works and block what hurts.

What a great one you've coined there!! I need to do that too! Need to make it my mantra!

Take care Lighter and I hope things get much better real soon for you.

Sela

lighter · « **Reply #11 on:** July 04, 2008, 12:47:37 AM »

(((Sela)))

A big hug for those great kind words.

I'm having a good day.....

I have energy and focus....

getting lots done.

I'm reaching out for help and receiving it.

Again, thanks for the kind thoughts.

Lighter

Sela · « **Reply #12 on:** July 04, 2008, 12:12:16 PM »

Oh Lighter, I'm so glad to hear that!

Keep doing all that!! Things will keep improving!!

returning ((((((big hug))))))

Sela

lighter · « **Reply #13 on:** July 06, 2008, 08:03:54 PM »

I've had several very good busy days, getting much done.

Your enthusiasm made me smile, (((Sela.)))

Thanks.

Lighter

changing · « **Reply #14 on:** July 06, 2008, 09:35:46 PM »

Hi Lighter-

Good for you- detaching from the negative and being productive in the positive...

I find at times I shut down instead of detaching- not so good, but at least I don't get crazed...the detachment can be complicated when I have to be productive wth items that I perceive as damaging or futile at best...

When I can detach and examine things on all sides , best and worst case scenarios, etc it truly eases- but woryy can hector me when I feel vulnerable. I suppose deatchment is a form of invulnerability...

Now back to the dreaded paperwork preparation...

Love,

C.

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