Plans for the Board

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

A member recently asked (via Personal Message) about my plans for the Board.  This is what I told him/her:

Next August will mark ten years for the Voicelessness site.  While I plan to keep the VESMB running until that time, I am uncertain about my plans beyond that date.  That is why I have discontinued new registration.  But I’ll let the Board know of my decision well in advance of August 2009.

Best,

Richard

[lighter]

I guess I needed that shot of adrenaline to finish readying for church

Ten years is a long time, Doctor G.

If I was a wishing woman, I'd wish you could find inspiration for writing a book utilizing the struggles on the board and addressing them in concrete ways.

I think there's a book yet to be written.

This board is where the heart of the problem comes to bleed, find succor and heal.

This is where the book lives, IMO.

Lighter



 

[Gaining Strength]

I did not realize that you had discontinued new registration.  When did you do that?

Thank you for what you have provided here.  It has been a great help to me.  And thank you for the advanced warning about  next August.  I am done with my work here but have a few things to tie up and am glad for the time to finish what I have left to do.

[CB123]

Dr. Grossman,

You don't have to share your thinking if you don't want to, but I would be interested in knowing what you will factor into your decision about next August.  I have often thought that there's a lot of work involved in moderating this board, even though you appear to be relatively absent.  Have you just burnt out--or do you think that the board has outlived its usefulness?

If you have closed the board to new registrations, and you no longer accept guest registrations, does that mean that the current members are the total pool for the next year? 

I'm just curious about the process from your point of view, if you are willing to share anything more.

....and thank you so much for the 10 years you have kept the board up.  I know everyone here is grateful for the opportunity to be here.

CB

[Lupita]

Dear Dr. G:

Just wanted to let you know how much help I got from this board. I totally changed my life thanks to this place. Pleace, pleace, would you reconsider? If people would pay a quote, something a month to maintain the borad, is there something we can do or I can do to help? To keep this alive?

Thank you so much for all you have done. It has changed my life forever.

God bless you so much!!!!!

My love and respect goes out to you.

Lupita

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi CB:

Thanks for your kind words.   I don’t have a simple equation by which to make a decision, but here are some of the factors:

1)  The time required to maintain the Board and keep it safe (to the degree that I am satisfied with) has gone way up.  This diminishes my time to do other professional/non-lprofessional things—particularly to write.   (By the way, when I checked this morning I had clocked 50 days, 21 hrs, 56 min on line as “voicel2” which places me in the top 5—I won’t name the other 4!)

2)  The health of my wife and myself.

3)  Usefulness/benefit to board members—board members are the best judge of this, and I always listen to the differing views.

4)  My tolerance for the occasional e-mail disrespect/abuse that are part and parcel of running a board open to the general public.  (Such tolerance certainly diminishes with age!)

5)  The many expressions of appreciation that I have received and continue to receive.


ShameSlayer:  I’m so glad the board has helped, and I’m glad your work is nearly done!  The Board has been closed to new members for a couple months.

CB:   I have been reluctant to open the Board again, knowing that it may close in a year.  Is it fair to invite someone in only to close the board in a year?  Again, members can help answer this…

Lighter:  Sorry to give you a jolt!  Thanks for the suggestion/wish.  Actually, I’d prefer if you and/or other members wrote books on your experiences, and I could read them!

Lupita:  Thanks for your appreciative words and your suggestion.  I have thought about accepting contributions for a number of years.  I will re-think it.  It could certainly be another factor in my decision making.

Best,

Richard

 

[Overcomer]

Wow!!  I would feel lost without this board!!

[BonesMS]

I will feel lost without this board, especially now!

Bones

[Lupita]

I pay a fee for my internet, a fee for my cable TV, etc. I would be very happy to pay a fee for this board if that keeps it alive.

I do not want to lose the board. This board has changed my life. I discover everything about my problems reading Dr. G's articles, and with the information from experience members and good people that I found here.

I have found my only source of support here.

I would be lost without this.

I would be happy to pay a fee. If three thousand member pay 25 dollars a month

25.00 X 3000 = 75000 dollars.

Probably that would be a dream, but if 1000 pay 25 that would be 25000 dollars

If 500 members pay 25 a mont 12500 that would be tuelve thousand dollars.

That money could be applied for councelling for books for many things.

Dear Dr. G, dont let it die, please.

My love and my respect goes out to you.

[Ami]

I was going to write a post similar to Lupita's.
We have to pay for services, whether it be therapy or any other service or membership. Dr G has to give time and expertise to make the board go.
 I think he should be compensated, as any  other professional would be.
      Ami

[Izzy_*now*]

Dr. Grossman

I can sympathize with your monitoring the board and watching all your 'little children' squabble, can hear you heave a sigh and think *here we go again*

In real life the children grow up. On the board one is just replaced with another and sometimes quadruplets come along.

I found this board to be the best help of all my 69 years. It was the ability to spit it all out and, for the most part, not be judged.

There came a time to quit, which was equivalent to when I would drop a friendship, because everything I would allow myself to say had been said, and I witheld my embarrassments, family et al. I was urged to stay and did and I blabbed it all. This helped me immensley, as I had to dig at my own faults and reasons and put everything in place. I was able to do that, when a therapist couldn't because before---"I really wasn't sure of what I was talking about"

Help was on this board for me!

Thank you and good luck
Izzy

[sKePTiKal]

Dr G:

thanks for the heads up! I haven't been posting as much lately because I'm pretty busy these days - but this board has helped me so much, in transitioning from the support of therapy - into the full-life, totally engaged reality I'm dealing with these days. Again - the opportunity to write, write, write - and connect with others who actually KNOW what I'm talking about and can shed light on the things I'm not seeing or understanding - was the most important mechanism that propelled me along. Despite the differences of opinion and squabbles - this has been a place of much giving to each other.

I do understand having to let things go - even things that have held a lot of value. We have to do what we have to do, and I just wanted to say that if you decide to let the board go next year, I won't fall apart! I'll be OK. 

Several months ago, I seriously considered leaving the board completely. And I took the opportunity that decision opened up to ask for the email addresses of people I've connected with here. I'll probably ask for a few more now - just in case! It's still possible for us - as a group - to continue working with each other via email. Or maybe Izzy will start her own board in semi-retirement! Maybe I will.

But the work we've all been doing - individually & collectively - will go on. I'm 100% sure of THAT!

[SilverLining]

Could some of the reliable senior members be recruited to help with the moderating of the board?  Doing it alone would sure be a difficult task.  Even Wyatt Earp had to get help from his brothers to keep the law in Dodge...

I haven't been a very active member, but the board has been very helpful to me.  It's enlightening to see how others have had very similar family experiences.   I've been able to turn some vague suspicions into more clear understanding..

[Hopalong]

Dear Doc G...

Thanks for the year's notice!
I know there'll be all sorts of feedback and great suggestions over the year to come, and who knows what'll feel right?

Like everybody, I'll be eternally thankful to you no matter what you decide (and I support your right to take care of yourself).

When I'm not so pooped I'll try to think of good alternatives too.

Gratefully,
Hops

[sea storm]

Dear Dr. G.

Deepest thanks for the support that your site has provided and for the invaluable guidance you have given.
I will try to step up to the plate and write more often now that I know that no more people are coming in.  There must be hundreds of people already registered and new people can still read the information.

I agree that charging something would be ok for joining. Then you could get someone else to look after the site. This whole thing is really wonderful.  I am sure there is a doctorate in this.  The group dynamics alone are fascinating, and the way the site comes to homeostasis with a few nudges and some straight talk. I have watched so many people become healthier and feel more connected to humanity with this site and I drew strength and faith from here during a very dark time of my life.

Sea storm