Plans for the Board

[miss piggy]

(((Dr. G)))

I remember discovering this site by accident six or seven years ago.  What a lifesaver!  I cannot thank you enough for having hosted this board in the first place, much less for almost ten years!  I've returned just this past week after a two year hiatus to see what was up and because my Major N is aging quickly.  The veneer of normalcy has peeled away and there is the inner baby N for all to see.   

Anyway, another suggestion to keeping the board going while giving you a break is to find a possible replacement in the way of a fellow professional you trust with the healing of adult children of narcissists.  Someone who would be willing/able to put in the considerable time?

Just a thought.  Thank you again for caring.

Peace, Miss Piggy

[Izzy_*now*]

It's still possible for us - as a group - to continue working with each other via email. Or maybe Izzy will start her own board in semi-retirement! Maybe I will.

But the work we've all been doing - individually & collectively - will go on. I'm 100% sure of THAT!

Hi PR (and Dr. G again),
To have a board like this costs and there are free Boards on MSN and likely elsewhere. We could have a place for everyone to meet and stay up-to-date in touch. MSN requires a hotmail email account and when one joins with a 'nick' it is forever. I have an account with hotmail as I use it when I am to post an email address online and all mail goes to it, and stays out of my home mailbox. If it is important enough, I forward it to my home box,like when I stupidly bought 2 games, that I can now play free?

A worse suggestion is to join another Board and see if we can have a separate topic from those already provided.

I am too old now to become an 'owner of a Board'.. I could die tomorrow and the payments would soon be stopped...well exaggeration works, sometimes.

I think it is a mistake for us all to exchange personal email addresses just to keep in touch. We need a place so all can see what is happening.

Just thoughts in Verdana Font 12 pt. when Times New Roman is my favourite.

Izzy

[dandylife]

It's been 10 years?

Wow!

Dr. Grossman, you are a pioneer! I didn't realize you started the Board 10 years ago.

You've done alot of good here.  'nuff said.

(((((Dr. Grossman)))))

Dandylife

[Certain Hope]

Dr. Grossman,

I don't know what's best for you, at this stage of life... but I do know that a person's time in this world is far too short to spend an inordinate amount of it online.
"Shower the people you love... with love" - and all that

I also know that you are a very special individual.
For me, it's been your involvement here - your constant presence - in your integrity, strength, wisdom, patience, equanimity... all of that...
which has not only allowed me to grow up, but caused me to want to strive for emotional maturity.
In my view, this place wouldn't be VESMB without you.

As far as those disrespectful emails... or attempted coups and anything of the sort...
If I were in charge?
I'd be telling some folks, "Hey - if you don't like this arrangement or the way it's managed, go make your own forum."
But then that's just me, and I do believe it's entirely possible to be excessively... ermm... understanding.

One suggestion which has occurred to me - and I don't know how it might work, but -
regardless of your decision about this board, I would certainly like to be on a mailing list, to receive notification of your future writings.
Or if you did a blog... I would tune in!
I think it'd be great to hear more from you... without all the static.

Brightest blessings to you and your family.

Carolyn

[changing]

Dr. Grossman-

Thank you for providing this unique Board for 10 years. I have been posting for over a year and have found the experience transformative. Since I came here in abject despair and isolation, Board members have held my virtual hand, befriended, educated,inspired and propelled me out of a dangerous and abusive situation, to a new and fulfilling life. I hope that others who are in dire need of the same support are afforded the same opportunity to become safe and free from abuse.

Thank you again for the sacrifices and love shown by you and your family, for the benefit of people that you my never meet face to face.

Love and Thanks,

Changing

[Overcomer]

dR. g-i THINK you will miss us!!  Does anyone frequent a yahoo group or something like that?  maybe we could all agree to meet somewhere else under the same names if the doc decides to end this!!  I would miss you all!!  I even miss those ones who irritated me.....

[jordanspeeps]

Dear Dr. G,

The very best to you whatever you decide to do next year.  And I just want you to know that since 2005, through all the trials and triumphs, this board has absolutely brought positive change to my LIFE!!  So much education and maturation has taken place for me through you and this board.  You are an angel right here on earth for what you have given us here.  I appreciate and respect your decision one way or another, but I just want you to know you've done this task with great humility, intelligence, and grace. You should be proud of what you've facilitated/created. You are an inspiration and may you have all the support you will need to carry you through all the tough decisions to come.

Love to you and yours,

"Tiffany"

[teartracks]

Dear Dr. Grossman,

Regardless of your decision to close or not close the board, I want you to know that the day I stumbled onto your essays my life was changed  positively.   I'd found hope in the midst of personal desolation and dispair.   Even now the memory  makes me weep.   It is a moment of such profound impact, I'm left 7 years later, still trying to explain how deeply I was affected. 

In light of your essays, it would be hard  to quantify the additional effect the message board had on me and my recovery.  In other words, had I not had the message board in combination with the essays,  I don't know what I would have done next in the way of finding a realistic perspective of where I found myself.   I'm grateful that both were available.   I had no resources for private therapy.   I didn't have a clue where to turn next.  Edit in:  The board became that place, the next place, the place where I could connect with people whose stories in many cases could have been my own.  Reading the accounts of others made me feel not so utterly isolated alone and abandoned.

These are my thoughts concerning the board and its future.  First, I think that just about everything that can be said on the subject of voicelessness (from the layman's point of view) has been said on the board over the years.   I think that having the board remain accessible to anyone wishing to read it would be a good thing.  In the meantime, member list would become inactive,  no new members would be accepted.  Having it available for those wishing to read the board in its present state would be the only activity.  This is just my two cents worth and may not be a reasonable option.

I don't know how difficult it would be to implement what I've proposed or how large the  possible burden on you in the way of expense, maintenance and moderation.  My proposal may not be a reasonable one for you.

Thank you.  I so sincerely thank you.

Sincerely,

tt

[finding peace]

Dear Dr. G,

Please know that I have no words to express how grateful I am for the time I have had here.

I have found more comfort here, more support, and more challenges (in mostly positive ways – and those that were not so positive – I continued to learn from) than I ever experienced as a child.

My childhood was so devoid of just basic human kindness that I withdrew from the world.

By virtue of this place, I learned so many lessons … the most poignant to me….

…..I am not alone….

…..Life is a journey, and it is up to me where that journey takes me….

…..There really are some phenomenally good and caring people in this world; people, even in the midst of their own pain, willing to share of themselves to help others without expecting anything in return….

To everything there is a season, and I can understand so well if it is the season for you and yours.  Although I will be sad to see the board go, I understand.

Whatever you decide, please know, you … and so many who have posted here … will always have a place in my heart.  I have gained more through your and their selfless sharing, than I ever knew was possible.

You, and many here, have become a Miss Wooley/Mrs. Brush in my life; someone who does a simple kindness, and yet have made a lasting change in my life for the better.

Thank you.

Peace

[gratitude28]

Dear Dr. Grossman,
I have a question for you. Have you ever thought of using some of the examples here to coalesce into a book of some sort? I know there are (finally) some books available on the subject, but I am sure there would be some way to come up with a new take on the disorder with all of the information compiled here. I keep thinking that this spot is just such a huge well of information and examples of all the stages and effects of the disorder.
I also want to chime in my thanks for the board. You have helped me immensely over the past two plus years and I am dealing much better with all aspects of my life because of the help I have received here from you and the members.
Love, Beth

[Sela]

Hiya Dr. G,

Although I would really miss this board and am very grateful for so much that I have experienced here, I think you have to put your personal stuff first.....and take care of your own before anything.

Life is simply too short.

So a great big large huge thankyou to you for creating and keeping this place up and running for as long as you have and still do and best of luck to you and your family always, if you must quit.

Your great patience and compassion are an inspiration and then some, which I will not forget!

Sela

[Cadbury]

This board was such a big help to me when I first discovered my ex was N and the relief at finding I was not alone was immense. I wanted to thank you for that

Cadbury

[gjazz]

So many people have gotten so much benefit from the board.  It's a rare thing for anyone to give so freely of his (or her) time, energy and expertise.  Thank you Dr. Grossman, and I hope you've gotten something from it too!  Aside from the occasional headache that is.

[Ami]

I was thinking  about this since my last post on this thread.If you,Richard, don't want to run the board ,are there any other alternatives to it's total loss?
  Ami

[Ami]

I wanted to share some thoughts which seem sensible to me. I think a board should express the degree of moderation it has at the outset.
 If a board has high, medium or low moderation, the participants would know and gauge their walk through the board accordingly.
                                                                                                                             Ami