Interesting that you chose competence, GS... rather than autonomy. These 3 things all being legs of the same stool, each one bears the same amount of weight and if one is wobbly or loose or broken... then the other two are more stressed, trying to perform their function - to hold up the stool. They over compensate, I think.
I don't think, because of this interwoven interdependence, that there's any one "right" starting place. Trust your intuition.
As for me, looks like my current round of T-work is going to begin with discussion of the book, "Stroke of Insight". My T brought it up, and of course I was familiar with excerpts from the thread Dr. G had started last year, about it. So back to Left & Right brain stuff, for a bit. I did bring up these 3 nutrients... and how valuable I found the concepts to be...
... the whole point of this theory, though, was addressing self-motivation. In your words, GS - that paralysis when faced with tasks. For me, the absence of enough desire and motivation to quit smoking. I had issues about competence & smoking - but I've been able to prove to myself that this was just fear; no truth to it. I can not smoke and be just fine for long periods of time. So... autonomy...? smoking to separate myself from my mother's projections about who I am.... maybe. Connectedness - my hubby and I connect first thing in the morning, coffee & smokes to hand... but it's been possible for me to prove to myself that I can connect to him just fine w/o smoking.
Connecting with myself is closer to the truth. The old 'validation through invalidation'... the 'comfort that kills' paradox again. And after reading the book, and seeing a bit more from Dr. Taylor's perspective about L/R brain experiences... I think I'm homing in on something else that needs to be addressed. Fear of dissociation. Nicotine enhances L-brain functionality and suppresses R-brain. And my survival - and eventual escape from my mom - depended on L-brain working to the best of it's ability (competence) all through high school and college. Interesting thing is... one of the tools recommended for getting through a NIC crave... is the puzzle game Bejeweled... and I've found it to be almost a trigger for a mild dissociation reaction in me... as if I'm training myself - through playing - to control dissociation; to balance L/R brain functionality ... allowing BOTH to co-exist... without judging.
It will be most interesting to hear my T's reasoning behind recommending the book to me. I found myself connecting to a LOT of the author's observations and seeing myself - my experience - through a different set of explanations.